


My Better Half

by CarnalCoast



Series: Karmagisa Family AU [1]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Adoption, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Killing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Sexual Content, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:24:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 47,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnalCoast/pseuds/CarnalCoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The chronicles of Karma and Nagisa's relationship as it grows into something beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for manga chapters 129-130!

It was a Tuesday. Nagisa’s morning hadn’t treated him very kindly; he’d woken up a half-hour after his alarm clock and had to rush to get ready for school. The air outside had been frosty and unmerciful, so he was extremely relieved that he’d remembered to bring a heavier jacket. Now, though, sunlight shone through the window next to Akari’s desk, and he appreciated the feeling of the warmth scattering across his skin. Koro-sensei’s presence managed to cheer Nagisa’s mood as well; the teacher’s passionate ranting about acid-base reaction theories was nothing but amusing to most of the teens in the classroom.

Fully enraptured in the octopus’s lesson, Nagisa was pulled out of his trance and gasped when a small, balled-up piece of paper bounced off the back of his head and onto the floor. He turned around with a glare, assuming one of his classmates was aiming to tease him, but softened his expression when he spied Karma staring at him with a cheeky grin. They didn’t pass notes to each other often, but the practice was still common. It was a school, after all.

Making sure Koro-sensei wasn’t about to come closer—if the teacher had noticed the flying object, he hadn’t shown any reaction—Nagisa carefully bent down to retrieve the note. He sent Karma another curious glance as he unrumpled it. It almost made him feel like they were in elementary school again—a silly, but warm feeling.

**Wanna go out to eat with me after school?**

...Although, _this_ part wasn’t reminiscent of elementary school at all. He looked back to Karma and nodded, trying to act subtle, with a light pink dusting his cheeks. Karma inclined his head slightly in response and turned his attention away, leaving Nagisa to return his sights to the crumpled paper still in his hands. It wasn’t as if this was a big deal anyway—he battled with himself, silently willing the heat to fade from his cheeks. The way he was acting, like some infatuated schoolgirl—it was so stupid...

“And that’s why we’ll be focusing on the Arrhenius and Brønsted–Lowry theories, rather than the Lewis theory...”

Suddenly, the paper—which he’d been drilling his eyes into—disappeared. Blinking, Nagisa watched as Koro-sensei walked past, and noticed his beady eyes looking down at the note in his tentacle-hand. Stealthily reading it while continuing to talk, he then naturally dropped the message into the trash bin as he passed it. It was so casual and swift that no one was likely to notice. Though Nagisa felt his heart beat erratically with embarrassment, he silently thanked the teacher for not making a big deal out of it. Truthfully, he’d expected Koro-sensei to read the note aloud to the entire class—that was something the cheeky octopus would do, after all.

Of course, Koro-sensei still did throw a devious look Nagisa’s way once he made his way to the front of the class again, but Nagisa knew it could’ve been much worse, and simply released a sigh.

No one said anything as Karma waited for Nagisa to gather his things, and no one said anything as they walked out together down the long, dirt path. Not even Karma said anything, though he was looking at him an awful lot, making Nagisa feel self-conscious.

_Is there something on my face?_

When they entered the more crowded area of town—Nagisa still had no idea where they were going to eat in the first place—Karma loosely grabbed his hand to steer him in the right direction, through the clumps of busy people. Nagisa felt his face fill with heat. Their hands didn’t grip very strongly, but it was enough for him to notice that Karma’s palm was very warm. Nagisa wondered if his own hands felt cold and clammy to the other boy, and wanted to pull away, but also wanted to hold on tighter. It was a confusing feeling—one only teenagers could understand, he supposed. He found himself wanting to be more mature about it and simply hold Karma’s hand normally, but that was easier said than done. By the time the confused student made up his mind to try and grip tighter, they were already at their destination, and a feeling of defeat nestled in Nagisa’s chest. They let go.

“This is... the place everyone always goes to. Won’t some of the others be here today?” Nagisa recognized the small diner immediately. Specializing in ice cream and pizza, the establishment naturally attracted the younger crowd and had become a regular hang-out for schoolkids. They themselves had been here many times before, and Nagisa’s heart sunk at the ordinariness of the situation, though he instantly chastised himself for that feeling. After all, what was he expecting? Karma had asked him to go out and eat—and this was ‘going out to eat,’ wasn’t it? They’d done it plenty of times, so why was he expecting this time to be any different?

Karma’s voice brought him out of his internal scolding. The red-head was looking at him with that superior expression he often wore, as if he knew everything Nagisa was currently thinking. “Yeah, maybe, but why? Do they matter? Would you not want them to be there?”

For once, the words weren’t teasing, but merely inquisitive. Nagisa quickly shook his blushing head, mumbling that it didn’t matter before practically pulling Karma into the diner. And of course, he’d been right—he already saw Maehara, Kataoka, and Hayami, all sitting down at the ice cream bar. Fortunately, they didn’t look the duo’s way... yet.

“Let’s get a booth,” Karma quietly muttered into his ear, and Nagisa nodded, internally relieved. He’d feigned indifference at the idea of their classmates seeing them here, but he was glad that Karma could see through him anyway and would make some allowances for him. Whether it was true or not, Nagisa held on to the thought that Karma wouldn’t pay such close attention to just anyone— _he_ was special.

Once they’d sat down, in a booth away from the bar and on the other side of the establishment, Karma threw a teasing smile in Nagisa’s direction, inducing another blush from the boy.

“Good?”

Throughout his years of being friends with Karma, Nagisa had grown well-accustomed to the other boy’s mocking; however, since Nagisa had started feeling differently about their relationship, he couldn’t help but become embarrassed from the instances where he wouldn’t have given much thought otherwise. Because, though nothing seemed to have changed, at the same time _everything_ had changed.

Before, Karma teasing him was simply Karma being Karma—it was just how his friend acted, and Nagisa understood that. Now, though, he suddenly found himself blushing and stuttering—frankly, it scared him.

Sometimes, he yearned to actually talk about it with his friend; they hadn’t exchanged so much as a single word on the subject. But, what if it really was all in Nagisa’s head, and Karma hadn’t been feeling or noticing anything different? Then, he would truly make a fool of himself.

So, their pseudo-date ended without any serious conversation, and the two boys exited the diner after their classmates had already been long gone. Nagisa eyed the setting sun with trepidation, just now realizing how much time they’d spent hanging out. He’d spent the time, it seemed, stuck in a dream, trying not to pay any attention to his surroundings and only keeping his eyes on Karma. Because then, he wouldn’t have to chance making eye contact with anyone else he knew. He was completely unaware of when his other classmates had left the establishment, but he only hoped that the three of them hadn’t noticed him and Karma.

At the thought, Nagisa’s anxiety spiked to the point where he forced himself to hesitantly ask Karma, “...So, did you think Maehara-kun and them might’ve noticed us?”

Karma looked at him again with a playful grin, though Nagisa could easily perceive the disguised concern in it. “Well, all three of them saw us. Maehara in particular was staring for a while—I think he was keeping an extra eye on us the whole time, until he left.”

Nagisa was usually thankful for Karma’s propensity to tell the truth so bluntly and directly, but this time it only made his heart beat faster in nervousness. Seeing his friend’s obvious distress, Karma stopped grinning.

“Don’t worry so much, Nagisa-kun. There’s nothing wrong with us just hanging out, okay? They don’t care.”

Jumping at the hand that suddenly landed on his shoulder, Nagisa took a few seconds to collect himself before looking back at Karma with a small, grateful smile. “Yeah... I know. I don’t know what came over me. Sorry.”

Saying nothing in response, Karma stayed with his hand on Nagisa’s shoulder for a few more seconds—during that time their eyes met, and Nagisa’s smile faded. Karma’s eyes were pensive, not mischievous or content as they once were. Suddenly, his hand dropped and he turned his back on his friend.

“I’ll walk you home, Nagisa-kun. Unless you want to go separate ways now?”

Truthfully, Nagisa wanted to stay with Karma as long as possible, but he’d heard the unspoken message in Karma’s words.

“...You don’t have to take me home. It’s alright. It’s getting too late for that, anyway; you just get home too, Karma-kun.”

“Alright. Thanks—I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Without turning around to meet his eyes again, Karma began walking, and Nagisa kept staring until he could no longer see his friend’s back. When he became aware of how alone he now was, he shook himself out of his state and turned in the opposite direction, beginning his trek home.

During his walk, though, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from racing. His nervousness had upset Karma—that much he was certain of. But why? Was it because Karma _knew_ now, about how he really feels?

_He probably is embarrassed by me. Or thinks that I’m gross._

Nagisa immediately shuddered for even thinking that thought—yes, he was insecure at the moment, but he knew for sure that Karma wouldn’t think he was _gross_. Maybe he’d be embarrassed, but not creeped out. He wouldn’t be so cruel to Nagisa. That wouldn’t be like him...

The real reason for Karma wanting to be alone suddenly, Nagisa wasn’t sure of. All he really knew was that he didn’t like it when Karma didn’t smile.

 

 

It was a Friday, and for that, Nagisa was happy. It was beginning to get a bit warmer, and the last vestiges of winter were just diminishing, making it much easier to get to class without any puddles of melted snow on the path. During lunch, Nagisa stayed in the classroom, sitting with Isogai, Kanzaki, Sugino, and Kurahashi. Karma had left a short while ago. Since he’d disappeared without a word, Nagisa couldn’t help the bud of worry beginning to bloom in his chest. Luckily, before it progressed too much, Karma reappeared with two drinks in his hands.

Nagisa greeted him with a smile as he retook his seat, right next to the blue-haired boy.

“Here, I got you a different flavor this time,” Karma said teasingly, giving Nagisa one of the drinks and—before the other boy had any time to react or process the situation—leaned closer to kiss the corner of his mouth.

It happened in an instant, but Nagisa could clearly see the reactions of his friends, as they were sitting so closely around each other. Isogai was the only one who looked to the side, mindful of their privacy—either that, or he was embarrassed. The girls squeaked and giggled softly to themselves, seeming to find it more funny and cute than anything else. _Maybe they didn’t take it too seriously?_ Sugino turned bright red—redder than Nagisa, who was sure his face looked like a tomato—but didn’t say anything.

And then—Nagisa knew he should’ve seen it coming—Nakamura, from the opposite end of the class, whistled long and giggled mockingly afterwards. Turning around to face the amused blonde, Karma grinned back at her and stuck his tongue out. Meanwhile, Nagisa buried his burning face into his hands—it was only a small peck, he thought, so why was everyone making such a big deal out of it?

“K-Karma-kun...!” Nagisa shouted at him indignantly, smacking him lightly on the side of his arm. Karma took one look at his embarrassed face and simply laughed, reaching out to ruffle his bangs playfully.

“What’s wrong, Nagisa-kun? You’re so shy recently!”

Nagisa didn’t think of any response, and after he quickly fixed his bangs, a few more seconds of silence lingered in their small group before conversation resumed as normal. He thought it was weird. No one mentioned anything more about the incident, though Nagisa found himself acting rather awkward during the rest of lunch. Did no one else really care about it? A calming wave of relief spread throughout him, but his embarrassment didn’t completely fade until the end of the day.

It was true that he and Karma had kissed before, but not _in front of other people_. The abruptness of the new development had shocked him, though he supposed it had been a long time coming. He and Karma hadn’t really been acting like ‘normal’ friends anymore, so he wouldn’t be surprised if some of his classmates had already known, even without any public displays of affection.

Nagisa’s relief grew when, the following Monday, no one mentioned it or asked any questions. Most simply seemed to accept the new development of Karma and Nagisa’s relationship as fact, and Nagisa was glad he didn’t have to explain himself to anyone... That is, until Wednesday.

Akari, Sugino, and Nagisa were sitting together outside in the grass—flowers were just beginning to bloom, and Karasuma had allowed them a short break during their training. Since first learning of Akari’s sister and her past, all of the students had become more interested in learning about her life as an actress, what her sister was really like... everything and anything more about their friend’s true identity. Akari told Nagisa and Sugino another story of her sister’s hilarious escapades at home, and when it ended, all three of them became silent in a discreet but respectful mourning period. It lasted for only a few seconds before Akari looked up with a smile, and the other two boys returned it.

After that, though, no one could think of anything more to say. The awkward silence perpetuated for a few more seconds before, suddenly looking extremely nervous, Sugino set his eyes on Nagisa. As his friend opened his mouth to speak, Nagisa’s eyebrows raised worriedly.

“Um... So, Nagisa... You and Karma are dating, is that right?”

At first, Nagisa was certain his entire world crashed around him, into a million pieces, but he quickly picked it all back up and put it together. _Don’t be so overdramatic; he just asked a question..._

He should’ve expected it—even so, Nagisa, in all his time worrying about a moment exactly like this one, still hadn’t come up with anything to say during such an event. Sugino continued to look at him nervously, and Akari stared at him as well, though with a neutral expression.

Time passed in silence. With only Nagisa’s shocked countenance as an answer to his question, Sugino soon raised his hands anxiously.

“Ah, s-sorry! I didn’t mean to ask something so personal—I was just, um, curious, yanno? Feel free to ignore me, haha...” Laughing nervously, Sugino ran a hand through his hair, but Nagisa quickly raised his hands as well.

“N-No, you don’t need to apologize, Sugino-kun!” He was sure his face was bright red again, and he felt the desperate urge to go inside and splash some water on it. But he knew he couldn’t run away this time—he wouldn’t let himself. “I mean... Y-Yeah. We are... together. It doesn’t... bother you, right?”

There, he did it. He felt extreme relief already, as if a thousand tons had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Ah, no! It doesn’t bother me at all!” Nagisa’s response only seemed to have made Sugino more nervous, as the boy was now looking at him with wide eyes. “It really doesn’t! I’m happy for you guys! I was just... caught by surprise, that’s all. How did it happen?”

Well, he wasn’t expecting _that_ question.

“...How? Um...” Not wanting to pause for too long, Nagisa quickly searched for an answer amid his scrambled, embarrassed brain. “Well... I don’t... really know? _How_ it happened... Let’s see... Haha, well... It just—I guess it just happened? Yeah, it just, sort of, happened... Naturally, you know?”

He was ashamed at such a lame answer, but Sugino quickly nodded in understanding.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me anything. I’m being nosy—sorry for butting in so much, Nagisa.” Sugino again laughed nervously, and Nagisa shook his head.

“N-No, it’s okay...” Sugino had seemed to misinterpret his answer, which only made the budding assassin even more embarrassed.

Akari, however, seemed to understand, and smiled at him warmly. “I think that’s great, Nagisa-kun. Congratulations, for both of you.”

“A-Ah, thanks...” Eager to leave this line of conversation, Nagisa sighed in relief when they suddenly heard Karasuma’s booming voice, shouting to resume their training.

_That wasn’t so bad... Sugino doesn’t mean any harm, anyway. And no one is being mean about it...._

As he tried to assure himself, Nagisa still couldn’t shake the unease that lingered throughout the day since their conversation. It wasn’t that Sugino had bothered him by being curious—his friend seemed to be very accepting, after all. Rather, it was his second line of questioning that made Nagisa cringe. _‘How’..._

Because he and Karma still hadn’t exchanged a word about the nature of their relationship. In fact, this had even been true during their regular friendship, as well. There was no _“Do you wanna be friends?”_ —no conversation about whether they were best friends, or less, or _more..._ They talked to others about their relationship with each other—that was clear from his conversation with Sugino today, and even from yesterday, when Nagisa overheard Karma talking to Terasaka in the hallway: _“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend...”_

Blood had rushed to Nagisa’s face when he’d heard it. Granted, it didn’t surprise him. Because it was true, he supposed...

Sugino had got him thinking, though. He and Karma hadn’t talked at all about the progression of their relationship. It really _had_ ‘just happened.’ Wasn’t that weird? Nagisa didn’t even know who had started feeling these feelings first, or when Karma had first noticed Nagisa’s feelings... All Nagisa knew was that, one day, Karma thought it was okay to kiss him and hold his hand, and Nagisa was glad that he did.

Was it love, even? Did Karma even love him, or was this situation just convenient for him? How could he know? Nagisa suddenly felt smothered by all of these anxious thoughts surrounding him, and was shaken to the core. He desperately wanted to talk to Karma, to have an answer to these questions.

The next time they met, Nagisa’s anxiety disappeared, as it so easily did when he was with Karma. Nagisa said nothing about his worries. They didn’t talk about it, and they wouldn’t for a very long time.

 

 

It was a Saturday when they made their final decision. The apartment was nice—two bedrooms, so one could be made into a study or spare room, which Karma thought they needed for whatever reason. It had a relatively nice view of the city, being a significant amount of stories up, and the living room/kitchen area was very spacious. They both approved of the modern design and affordable price, so the choice hadn’t been too difficult.

Because of their respective careers, they hadn’t wanted to settle down and get a place together for quite a while. At least, not until they were secure in their positions and Nagisa had proved himself enough to his bosses so he could be able to request leave every now and then, or take jobs at his own pace. Now, both twenty-two years old, the time had come.

Nagisa had left Karma to do most of the talking with the contractor, and instead admired the view outside the window across from the living area, which spanned the entire wall. It was breathtaking; Nagisa imagined coming home to this after a tough job and smiled at the thought of such relaxation. He turned his head when he sensed Karma walk up to his left, and found his lover smiling back at him.

They spent a few moments in silence, bracing themselves for the life they were about to begin _together_ —finally—until Karma broke it quietly and carefully.

“...So, want to own it under just my name, or both of ours?”

Considering Karma could, at any time now, find himself becoming a better-known public and political figure, Nagisa knew they should play it safe and own it all under Karma’s name. However, something about the charming glint in Karma’s eyes was making him second-guess himself.

He was silent for a while longer as he mulled it over meticulously, eventually nodding in assent to himself. This was an exception, he thought. Or, maybe it was just an exceptional moment.

“...Both.”

Karma smiled again, and Nagisa swore he was going to kiss him right then—the atmosphere around them was positively saccharine, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the air tasted like honey. So he raised eyebrows slightly when Karma simply walked back to the contractor, opting to wrap up their final paperwork.

It had been so easy, Nagisa thought, once they were finally alone—in _their_ home. The apartment, which they owned themselves. He could hardly believe it, and it seemed Karma couldn’t either, as both of them spent a few minutes only staring at each other with overjoyed eyes. Nagisa eventually couldn’t take it, and closed the gap to take his lover’s hands in his own. Their appendages dangled in between them like a red thread, linking them together.

Karma closed the gap further, connecting their lips gently. When they parted—slow, as if it pained them—he whispered against Nagisa’s lips.

“We did it.”

Nagisa both hated and loved when Karma did this—whispered intimately and meaningfully against him—because it elicited such strong emotion. He knew what Karma was truly saying: _You’ve succeeded. You’re an assassin. Your mother can’t control you. We live together. We don’t need to depend on anyone. We made it._

_I love you._

“I love you.”

Blue eyes opened wide, shocked, barely comprehensive, and air involuntarily entered Nagisa’s lungs so quickly that he nearly kneeled over.

It had never been said out loud before; simply hearing it, to Nagisa’s ears, felt like a shot to the head. Hesitantly, he looked up into Karma’s eyes. In them he saw the love and devotion that Karma rarely displayed, even to Nagisa—which was why Nagisa had been doubtful at times, he supposed. No one was perfect, and Karma was an unpredictable person. Nagisa had felt Karma’s love throughout the years—when they were talking on the phone, miles away; when they were surrounded by their friends, yet they still sought out each other’s hands; when they were intimate, and Nagisa could barely tell where his own skin ended and Karma’s began. However, a miniscule shred of doubt had always accompanied those feelings.

The shred of doubt was gone. Nagisa felt that, by this moment, they’d taken an extraordinary leap, and it took his breath away.

“...Me too.”

It was an inappropriately short reply. Nagisa had so much to say, his thoughts racing so fast that he couldn’t even attempt to put them into words. Karma smiled knowingly and pressed his forehead against Nagisa’s. In return, Nagisa could only close his eyes and try to keep his face from turning too red, keep his tears from welling over.

_I’m an assassin, and a grown man. I shouldn’t be so affected by this!_

Nagisa’s attempts at concealing himself failed, and Karma’s soft, loving laughter resonated throughout the empty apartment. Self-conscious, Nagisa choked out between shaky inhales, “S-Stop! It’s not funny! I’m just... This is big, you know...”

Karma continued grinning, brushing his lips near the corner of Nagisa’s mouth. “I know, I know,” he muttered dismissively. They were standing so close that Nagisa could feel the intense warmth radiating from his body, and he swallowed dryly.

“I... After all this time, you... Were we just...?” Nagisa continued, trying make his jumbled thoughts become coherent sentences. He gave the task up rather quickly, and after a few seconds with only Nagisa’s loud breathing to permeate the silence, Karma forced their eyes to meet again.

“I know,” he repeated delicately, urging Nagisa to quiet his own breaths. “I’m sorry for taking such a long time to come to terms with things when we were kids. And putting on that face—acting like a jerk, even though I didn’t realize I was—I’ve been really stupid, huh? I always have to make you wait, don’t I, Nagisa?”

Nagisa brushed away a stray tear and punched Karma’s chest lightly, now glaring up at him. “You... idiot! That’s not... I could see through you anyway, bastard, so... I knew all along that you felt the same way.” He knew it was nothing but a bluff at this point. At Karma’s words, he’d felt a strong sense of relief, and Karma could no doubt see that by his tears. Nevertheless, he tried to calm himself and took a deep breath. “...Well, you’re doing it again, right now. Idiot.”

Despite Nagisa’s weary tone, Karma threw him another playful smile—some things never changed. “I apologize.” As he spoke, he rested his hand on the small of his lover’s back and brought them closer together again. “I’ll work on being more honest with you, and myself. I’m a big boy now—you can trust me more, Nagisa.”

“I’ve... always trusted you...” The irritation gradually left Nagisa’s voice, and he leaned his head on Karma’s shoulder, sighing against his neck. “...I accept your apology.”

Their arms around each other, the young couple stayed still for a few minutes, basking in their love. Karma had his lips pressed against the top of Nagisa’s head, and Nagisa swore he could fall asleep standing up at that moment. Eventually they detached themselves just enough so they could look into each other’s eyes again.

Lightly tracing the red area under Nagisa’s eyes—remnants of his tears—Karma whispered in a sultry tone, “So, want to break in our new home like a couple of newlyweds?”

Blush spread across Nagisa’s cheeks like a gentle fire, and he knew he couldn’t keep his happiness from showing. “Karma, we don’t even have the bed moved in.”

“So?”

Sighing, exasperated—though still unable to keep the smile off his face, no matter how hard he tried—Nagisa stepped away and took Karma’s hands. “Didn’t you want to go out and celebrate?”

“Fine...” Karma’s smile turned mischievous, and Nagisa willed himself to not roll his eyes. “But after dinner, you’re all mine. We’ll go to a fancy hotel for the night.”

“Whatever you say. Remember, we have to meet Akari-chan tomorrow.”

“You think saying that will make me go easier on you?” Karma teased as he dragged them to the door. “You’re so cute, Nagisa.”

Nagisa acted irritated, but the relief and joy he felt didn’t disappear for the whole night—and even the next day. It showed itself in everything he did, every movement he made, every kiss and every amorous touch; he felt the weight of years of worry be lifted off of his shoulders. Nothing could ruin this incredible, overwhelming, new chapter of his life.

 

 

It was a Sunday, and Karma exhaled loudly as he took once last glance at his phone—11:36 PM. He’d only just gotten home from his friendly meeting with Sugino, which had followed his not-friendly business meeting with various political and corporate bigwigs, none of which he could stand to be around for more than five hours. The day had left him exhausted. He’d even been tempted to cancel his outing with Sugino, but he knew his friend hadn’t seen neither him nor Nagisa for a long while and was looking forward to their dinner. Well, their late dinner.

So, he’d left straight from the meeting to the restaurant, and the couple of old classmates had plenty to talk about for two hours. Sugino had more than enough to say about his recent engagement with Kanzaki. The wedding wouldn’t be for at least a year, yet there they were, already talking about where it would be held and who would be invited. Karma had responded amicably to his friend’s excited ramblings until one unexpected question had escaped his constantly moving mouth.

_“So, are you going to propose to Nagisa any time soon?”_

_Karma almost choked on his drink, but managed to keep everything flowing down the proper pipe and swallowed thickly. A few seconds passed, uncomfortably tense, with Sugino’s excited and large eyes staring at Karma’s tentative visage._

_“...Well, we... I mean, I—Ah...” Gritting his teeth, Karma grimaced at not being able to keep up his articulate, eloquent façade. Then again, he’d just spent the better part of his day keeping up that same farce with his bureaucratic peers, so his brain was practically fried at this point._

_It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about it; gay marriage was now legal in Japan, and had been for a few years. When it had first been legalized, though, Karma and Nagisa hadn’t spoken of it—at the time, they hadn’t yet moved in together. Since then, they still hadn’t discussed it. The only thoughts Karma held about it were his own, and they weren’t very encouraging thoughts._

_Finally sensing his friend’s discomfort, Sugino chuckled nervously and waved his hand apologetically. “O-Oh, but I mean, if it’s a tough subject you don’t have to tell me... I get it, it would probably be difficult, with you guys’ parents... But I mean, we, your old classmates and friends, would be all for supporting you, yanno? N-Not that we talk about it behind your backs or anything!”_

_As Sugino was only continuing to put his foot in his mouth, Karma shook his head to placate his panicky friend. “No, it’s fine. I mean, I don’t give a shit about what our parents would think, or do... They’re not the issue.”_

_When Karma did nothing more to elaborate, Sugino tilted his head questioningly. “...That’s good. Then, what’s the issue? Why don’t you get hitched? Just not feeling it?—I get that; marriage isn’t for everyone—“_

_Karma cut him off, sighing tiredly. “It’s not like that...” Pausing for a second, as if bracing himself, Karma leaned further in and looked into his friend’s eyes intensely. Sugino shivered._

_“Since you got engaged, don’t you feel like she’s your everything? Even more than before?” He didn’t wait for a nod or a shake of the head, just continued. “Marriage is more than just a relationship. It’s a commitment—two people becoming one, almost. Legal responsibility. Maybe even a family, if you feel up to that. ...Now, just think of Nagisa’s job.”_

_Sugino’s eyes widened in understanding, and Karma paused again before continuing, quieter._

_“...It’s already hard enough—never knowing if he’ll... Well, you know. As a married couple, that would be... I don’t know if I could do that. Or if Nagisa could. Just imagine how he’d feel, too... I wouldn’t want him to even consider giving up his dream, understand?”_

_“Yeah... I get it.” Sugino leaned back, now looking concerned at his friend, who had just let out so much emotion in a nearly emotionless tone. “...That’s rough. I should’ve thought of that, sorry...”_

_“It’s fine.” Karma spoke dismissively, taking a drink and hoping they could change the subject. Still, Sugino continued._

_“But maybe... What if you waited until he retired? Living out your retired lives together as a married couple would be good enough, wouldn’t it?”_

_Karma imagined them both—old enough to have wrinkles—at the aisle saying their vows, and cringed for a multitude of reasons. “No. Immediate no. Who knows when I would retire, anyway—probably a long time after he would.” He left the worst case scenario unsaid—if his lover perished before he even got a chance to retire._

_“Hm... I guess so. Well, it’s not like everyone needs to get married to be happy. That’s that?”_

_“Well... Maybe I’ll think about it and come to a decision within the next year. No longer than that, though—if I have to agonize any longer than that, it might as well be a definite no.” Karma frowned conclusively, and Sugino smiled in a playful manner._

_“Ever thought of, I don’t know—talking to him, finding out how he feels about it?”_

_“Did you ‘talk’ to Kanzaki about it before you proposed to her?”_

_Sugino laughed slightly, giving in. “Alright, point taken. Well, I’m sure that whatever happens, you guys will work out just fine. Everything’s fine for now, right?”_

_“Yeah...” Karma stared away, eyes glazed in thought. “He’s coming home tonight from another job. Or, should be.”_

_“Good to know! Make sure he tells me how it went.”_

Karma let out another loud sigh, resting his head wearily against the door to their bedroom. Oftentimes he would stay up through the night until his lover returned home from a job, but tonight his head felt like it was filled with lead and he could barely keep his eyes open. In fact, he couldn’t at all. Nagisa had said time and time again that he ought to get more sleep instead of staying awake while waiting for him to come home, so just this once, Karma opted to take his advice.

Entering their bedroom, he didn’t bother to flip the switch; the only light in the room filtered through the blinds of their windows. Karma clumsily took off his pants and tie, taking a minute to unbutton his shirt before growling in frustration and throwing it in a corner. He flopped onto the bed and barely yanked the covers over himself before succumbing to sleep, secretly thankful he was allowing himself an escape from his thoughts.

Because these nights were truly a double-edged sword—both the worst and the best for Karma. The best when Nagisa would return home after days, weeks, or even a month or two, and Karma could hold him in his arms again. Every time, without fail, they would make love insatiably and cling to each other as if they were forbidden lovers meeting for only one night. The relief and adoration Karma felt—coming from both him and Nagisa—would be overwhelming, and the next day both lovers would be positively glowing.

Then, these nights were also the worst. Because the hours, minutes, seconds before Nagisa burst through the front door were always utterly torturous. Karma’s mind raced faster, and with each minute that passed the thought of _“What if he doesn’t come home?”_ became stronger. To this day, Nagisa had never missed a return date, and Karma hoped to death that he never would. That day would be his end, for sure.

That’s why, when Karma awoke early in the morning, with the lights shining through the blinds being enough to illuminate the room in a gentle glow, his heart immediately started pounding. _It was Monday morning now_ —the thought boomed loudly in his mind. He could only stare at the ceiling for a while, until the rest of his senses finally came back to him. He felt a warm weight on his right side, and soft skin against his own.

He turned his head slowly, as if he was scared at what could be there waiting for him, and saw Nagisa, his blue hair peeking out from the covers and his face nestled against Karma’s shoulder. His arms and legs were both loosely wrapped around Karma, like he was a koala, and Karma exhaled shakily in relief. Nagisa came home.

His body had been shaken from his exhausting worry, and Karma suddenly realized how tired he still felt. Already, his eyes were feeling heavy, though he wanted to continue staring at his lover’s sleeping face. He also felt the standard urge to check him for injuries—to wake him up and ask him if anything had gone wrong, if he’d been paid adequately. If he’d missed Karma as much as Karma had missed him. He knew he didn’t have time for all that now, though; his eyelids were falling.

Sluggishly, Karma turned onto his side so he could face Nagisa and hold him in his arms. The warmth that emanated from the position calmed him immensely, and seemed to calm Nagisa as well, who snuggled further into the embrace. Their legs intertwined. Barely managing to press his lips against the top of Nagisa’s head, Karma fell back asleep.

 

 

That same Monday morning, Nagisa woke up from the best sleep he’d had in the past week and a half.

He loved his job—that much was true. Assassination was what he did best, and it came so naturally to him that he couldn’t think of any career he’d rather have. However, every career had its downsides. On the night of a kill, everything else was blocked from his mind except what to do and how to do it—no unrelated thoughts. The time that led up to and followed that point, though, was full of thoughts of his home, his friends—his lover. He always worked to get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible, partly due to his worry about returning to Karma safely.

So, when he’d entered the apartment, exhausted from the flight, only to find that Karma wasn’t waiting for him in the living room, he’d been struck with terror. His body and mind were still rather hyperaware from his work, and he’d immediately scoured the vicinity for any intruders. When he came to the bedroom, he’d exhaled in relief at seeing Karma lazily outstretched across the bed, his red head peeking out from under the covers.

At first, Nagisa had felt glad that Karma had finally listened to his advice; his boyfriend often needed more rest, being run dry by the officials and tycoons he had to deal with on a daily basis. Then, Nagisa had suddenly felt his exhaustion catch up to him. He barely managed to undress before joining his lover under the cool, inviting sheets.

Now drifting back to consciousness, Nagisa smiled when he noticed that Karma had shifted to embrace him at some point during the night. His boyfriend’s face was half hidden by the pillow it was buried into, but Nagisa could still see his peaceful and content expression. His own smile grew, and he carefully pulled one of his arms up from between them in order to caress the side of Karma’s face. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the urge to talk to his lover—ask him if he’d been okay while he’d been gone.

Karma stirred slightly when he felt the touch, and as he huddled closer into the embrace Nagisa felt a growing hardness against his thigh. He felt blood rush to his face and neck, but his smile didn’t lessen. It seemed that even subconsciously, Karma’s body knew that Nagisa had returned and was getting anxious to greet him. Sexual contact with his lover had stopped being extremely embarrassing for Nagisa years ago; now, he figured he’d let Karma’s poor body wait long enough. Not to mention Nagisa had also been ready for this as soon as he’d gotten home.

With the skill of an assassin, Nagisa moved fluidly so he was pressed chest-to-chest against Karma, with his hand gently stroking Karma’s hardening member through his underwear. Karma instinctively shifted back so his lover could be allowed more access. Within a few seconds the pleasure became enough to arouse his consciousness as well, and he opened his eyes slightly.

He saw Nagisa—set aglow by the light seeping into their room, his blue eyes loving and undefended—and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Leaning closer and wrapping his arms tighter around him, Karma pressed their first kiss of the day against Nagisa’s lips.

“Nagisa...” he slurred quietly against the soft lips, and Nagisa smiled back against his own, merely answering with a hum. There was nothing else to be said; they both were eager to indulge in their love after more than a week of being apart.

It took around thirty minutes, though it seemed like a glorious lifetime to both of them. Karma was quick to reach for the lube they kept in the bedside drawer, and he prepared Nagisa effortlessly. His lover’s entrance was pliant, and easily molded to his fingers— by now, Nagisa knew that being mentally ready and eager always had a great effect on his body’s reflexive willingness. Karma pushed into him without resistance, and the couple clung to each other desperately as they rocked in tandem, both coming with each other’s names hanging on their lips.

They took a while to come down, reveling in the afterglow, and Karma spent that time sweeping his hands across Nagisa’s skin, kissing every inch he could find. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered he was also checking for injuries, but the action was so instinctual that its reason nearly escaped his mind. Nagisa, his breath slowing down, chuckled soundlessly and ran his fingers through Karma’s hair—he was spending a lot of time at the lower area of Nagisa’s abdomen, where he’d found a few minor cuts. They appeared to be from a short blade, so it was nothing too severe.

Nevertheless, Karma smothered them with his kisses; Nagisa giggled, his slight ticklishness getting the best of him. When he deemed Nagisa’s stomach to be adequately loved, Karma moved back up and caught his boyfriend in another kiss.

After a few more minutes of tender kisses and caresses, Nagisa shifted his legs and felt the cooling residue of their copulation seep out from inside him. Just a tad embarrassed and uncomfortable, he moaned softly and pushed himself up and off the bed, finally detaching from Karma. It was true that he was no longer nervous about sex, but this was the part of it that still managed to fluster him.

“I... should go take a shower.” He stretched as he spoke, though he clenched himself to try and keep the semen from dripping down his thighs. Karma’s smile morphed into a frisky smirk, and he got up behind Nagisa to pull him into another embrace, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Sounds fun. How about I join you? That just now was barely enough to sate me. I’ll love you to pieces, Nagisa, and afterwards you can tell me all about your mission.” Karma whispered, his voice velvety against Nagisa’s ear.

Nagisa shivered delightedly at his words; they would usually go for a second round when they woke up from the night Nagisa came home, so it only seemed fair to do the same in this new situation. Clean-up afterwards would also be easier in the shower—though Karma would probably want to _help_. The thought made Nagisa’s entire body flush with arousal.

“That sounds... nice,” he hummed out in response, leaning into Karma’s form for a few seconds. Then they broke away, and Nagisa silently led his lover into their bathroom, an excited glint in both of their eyes.

 

 

It was a Wednesday, and Karma was possibly the most frightened he’d ever been in his entire life. He took precaution to not let this emotion show on his face; however, Nakamura was sitting close enough to notice even the smallest twitch, and couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

“Geez, Karma-kun! This is the most nervous I’ve ever seen you! It’s priceless...!” At her frankly insensitive response, Karma glared scathingly.

“Well, excuse me for being a bit anxious about what could possibly be the most important day of my life thus far. Oh, I forgot—you don’t know how this feels, so I shouldn’t expect any empathy.”

Immediately she stopped laughing, her eyes turning hard and unforgiving. Karma wouldn’t be surprised if she walked out of his apartment right then and there. “You don’t have to be a fucking jerk about it. I’ve just had nothing but shitty guys so far—you know that.”

“Yeah, I know...” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry, I’m just sort of riled up.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Nakamura sighed, taking a drink of her beverage to cool herself off before softening her glare. “Well, it’s understandable that you’re nervous. But don’t worry—there’s no way Nagisa-chan would say no. I just know it.”

“...Thanks.” Karma managed to express some gratitude; the blonde could be harsh at times, but she had good intentions. Her personality—and the fact that she knew Nagisa better than most people—was the reason why he invited her over on this day. She would be transparent with him, enough to tell him outright if she thought there would be any problems with what he was planning to do.

“...Well, we’ve talked enough, right? I’d better get going. Got a date with one of those _shitty guys_ , anyway...” Nakamura sighed to herself, standing up and giving Karma a well-meaning glance. “You’ll be fine. The ring is beautiful, by the way. Looks just like his eyes.”

“You already said that as soon as I showed it to you...” Nevertheless, Karma chuckled and stood up to see her out the door.

“Just saying! Remember to at least _text_ me tomorrow; I need to have an accurate and detailed description of Nagisa-chan’s face when it happens!”

“Yeah, yeah...” Karma sighed tiredly once he finally got Nakamura out the door. His hand drifted down to rest on his pocket—or, the small box inside his pocket. His heart was pounding, but he forced himself to relax; he’d been through life-threatening situations before, so he could handle this.

The following hour or so he spent waiting for Nagisa to come home was absolutely unbearable. His mind kept on drifting to all the relentless teasing Nakamura had put him through once he’d told her the news. Especially that one comment...

_“You should’ve at least done this sooner, Karma-kun! If you did, you would’ve beaten Maehara and Isogai to the punch! Not so competitive anymore these days?”_

He rolled his eyes, and part of himself wondered why he’d told Nakamura of all people—her and Sugino were the only ones who knew about what he was planning to do. Sugino, because he’d gotten Karma thinking seriously about it for the first time, and Karma had to thank him for that. Nakamura, because... Well, he supposed he didn’t want to deal with any gentle or overly-encouraging words at the moment. He didn’t need that; his pride wouldn’t allow it. He needed someone to toughen him up for this, and Akari or Kanzaki wouldn’t have done that. Nakamura was the best option.

“I’m home!”

Finally, at 7:13, Nagisa came through the door holding various shopping bags. He set them on the kitchen counter without looking at Karma.

“Sorry, I sort of got held up on the way home. Dinner will be quick to make, though—do you still want to take me somewhere afterwards? It’s sort of late...” Finally, he looked over to Karma, who did his best to hide his anxiousness.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll help you, to speed things up.”

Without much conversation, the couple quickly got to work on making dinner together. Karma managed to clear his restless mind during the process, though his momentary peace was interrupted when Nagisa sent him a small smile as they put the food on the table.

“Won’t you just tell me where we’re going? I want to know.”

“No—no! It’s a surprise...” Luckily, Karma’s voice stayed steady, and he sat down with a smile to accompany Nagisa’s.

“Are you trying to be romantic?”

Nagisa’s question didn’t come out as teasing or mocking in the slightest, but Karma still felt a slight embarrassed flush grace his face. If Nagisa noticed it, he didn’t say anything and simply started eating.

They finished without any serious discussion, and as soon as the dishes were put away Karma was tugging on Nagisa’s arm insistently.

“Come on, come on. Put on your shoes and we’ll leave straight away!”

Now raising an eyebrow at his lover’s exuberance, Nagisa did what he was told and got in the car without any questioning. As they drove closer and closer to their destination, Karma felt his heart speeding up, and he swore a few drops of sweat were dripping down his neck. By now it was very dark outside, but Nagisa still looked out the window for any signs of where they were going. His eyebrows lowered.

“Karma... Are we going to our old class?”

“Just wait...” Karma mumbled back, his voice barely audible, and Nagisa looked at his tense face a moment longer before staring back out the window. Soon enough, the scenery morphed into bunches of trees which nearly concealed the starry sky, and Nagisa nodded to himself.

“Hm... We’re definitely going there...” His own voice was barely audible as well, as if he was afraid of breaking the silence. When Karma didn’t reply, neither of them spoke for the rest of the drive. Or, not until Karma pulled up at the bottom of a certain grassy hill, around thirty meters away from their old 3-E classroom.

“This is...” Nagisa stared in awe at the hill as Karma took his hand and pulled him out of the car. “We... haven’t been here in a long time.”

“Yeah... Come on.” Karma couldn’t say anything else—who knew what would come out of his mouth. The couple walked up the hill, hand-in-hand and silent until they reached the top, where a single oak tree stood proudly. After admiring it for a few seconds, Karma led Nagisa near its roots and sat himself on the grass. Nagisa sat next to him, leaning against the trunk and looking up at the sky.

“We used to come here all the time... That class... made so many good memories, huh? We’d study here all the time, you and I... You helped me succeed here...” Nagisa mused, shutting his eyes briefly in bliss. The weather was still and perfect—not even slight breezes grazed their cheeks.

“Yeah, I remember... This was also where we made out for the first time, if I remember correctly? Good times...”

Nagisa’s eyes opened wide and he smacked Karma—who was chuckling incessantly—lightly on the arm. “I-Idiot...! Can’t believe you...” He sighed to himself, but smiled.

Yes, he did remember. He’d been so nervous, but he’d felt so loved and accomplished afterwards. This wasn’t the place where they’d shared their very first kiss—that had been in Karma’s room, on a simple Thursday afternoon—but they’d shared many other kisses under this tree. Nagisa also remembered many times when Karma would, in this spot, comfort him and brush his tears away when he felt he could no longer take his mother’s abuse.

And now, after years, they’d come back to the same place. Nagisa leaned his head against Karma’s shoulder affectionately.

“...This is nice. Why did you take me here, though? Today isn’t our anniversary or anything...”

Nagisa didn’t hear anything for a while, but eventually Karma replied, “Well, anywhere else would have too many people. I didn’t think you’d be comfortable if we had spectators.”

“...Huh?” Nagisa let the answer sink in before he pulled his head back up, meeting Karma’s eyes. “What do you mean by that?”

_Oh, shit..._

Karma hadn’t meant to give things away—it was unlike him to speak so carelessly at such an important moment, and for a second he was too stunned to think. The silence persisted for too long, and Nagisa’s expression grew worried. Just when he was about to interrogate his boyfriend further, Karma became determined and shifted his body to face him completely head-on.

“I... I’d hoped we could relax up here a while longer before I got to saying this, but... Nagisa. I need you to understand how important you are to me. We’ve been through so much, and you’re—you’re my better half, really... I couldn’t imagine my life without you. When we moved in together, planning to spend the rest of our lives as a couple, it made me the happiest man on Earth... I hope you know how much you mean to me.”

Nagisa thought of spouting out the obligatory _“You’re scaring me, Karma,”_ but instead could only murmur, “I know...” His eyes were wide—nervous and amazed, but a shred hopeful.

“So, I...” Karma paused to wet his lips anxiously, reaching out to gently hold Nagisa’s left hand. He silently rejoiced that neither of their hands were very sweaty. “...I’ve thought a lot about this. I want to... solidify this. I want to spend the rest of my life with you at my side. If I didn’t have you, I’d be hopeless—you know that...”

Karma’s other hand carefully pulled the small, black box out of his pocket, and Nagisa’s eyes widened. They stared unblinkingly at the box as it opened to display the ring, which held a small aquamarine diamond. Karma took in a breath.

“I know it’ll be hard, but I think we can do it. So... Would you marry me?”

It didn’t go how he’d planned, Karma thought. But he still felt satisfied when Nagisa slowly looked back into his eyes and gave him that peculiar stare—he’d seen it a multitude of times. No one but him had ever had the privilege of witnessing it. It was an expression which expressed perpetual devotion—Nagisa’s eyebrows slightly turned in, his eyes bright and intense.

“...Of course. I’ll marry you.” Nagisa’s words were soft, and passed through his lips like air before he dipped forwards to wrap his arm tight around Karma, his other hand still being held. Karma kissed the side of his fiancé’s face and kept his lips there as he took the ring out, slowly sliding it onto Nagisa’s fourth finger. Nagisa thought it was the most intimate touch he’d ever experienced.

“I love you...” Karma’s eyes suddenly welled with tears, and he almost cursed for being so vulnerable—but he couldn’t fight it, not now. When Nagisa felt the dampness on his shoulder, where Karma had rested his head, Nagisa felt his own tears finally come. He laughed breathlessly.

“Look at us... I can’t believe this...” He didn’t bother to wipe his wet face and turned Karma’s head to face him, interlocking their lips. They kissed passionately, Nagisa’s left hand still intertwined with Karma’s. When they parted, Karma grinned at him.

“Me either... Are you sure... about this? We can talk it over more, if you want...”

Nagisa tilted his chin down and smiled knowingly. “You sound like you’re the one who isn’t too sure, Karma.”

“No, I’m sure.” He’d thought it over plenty already—he couldn’t go back on this decision, he knew. It wouldn’t be right. “I’m sure.”

“Good. Then, I’m sure too.”

They stayed under the tree for at least an hour longer. Nagisa felt overjoyed, seeing how Karma’s smile never faded even as they were driving home.

 

 

It was a Thursday when Nagisa first mentioned it. It was funny, Karma thought, that Nagisa would be the one to bring it up first, considering he himself had been mulling it over for a long time. Or, since Sugino had put the idea into his mind—the man had such a bad habit for doing that, Karma was almost irritated by it. However, it now seemed that Karma hadn’t been the only one thinking about the topic.

“So... Have you thought of kids? Adoption...? I-I mean, _after_ we’re married, of course!”

Nagisa, in the process of preparing a meal, said it without even looking at his lover so he couldn’t gauge his reaction. Karma was shocked at first, though as soon as Nagisa mentioned their impending marriage he was filled with happiness. It was only two months away. Everything seemed to have happened so fast, and the couple still felt as if they were stuck in a dream.

“...That’s... a lot to think about. A lot of factors there, with the kind of lives we have... you know? We’d probably have to change some things around here...” Karma spoke carefully, as if he were walking on glass. Nagisa’s shoulders relaxed when he heard that Karma hadn’t overreacted.

“Yes, I know... ‘I know it’ll be hard, but I think we can do it.’ Isn’t that what you said to me?” Nagisa looked over his shoulder at Karma, a bright smile adorning his face. “We’re a team. I think, within a few years, if we wanted to... We could have a family. I’d love to have that with you, Karma.”

Karma marveled at his fiancé’s unwavering honesty. The pure love in Nagisa’s words still shocked him sometimes—but, that was Nagisa.

“...Yeah. I think I’d like that too.”

He felt that his words didn’t measure up to Nagisa’s, and briefly belittled himself for not being more forthcoming—for not talking to Nagisa as soon as he’d found himself thinking about kids.

Then, he saw Nagisa’s smile widen at his response, and all guilt disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this! Sorry it took me a while to finish--school just ended a few days ago for me, so things were pretty stressful. I put about all of my Karmagisa feelings into this story, so I don't know if I'll write anything more for them. Maybe I'll do something of an AU for them if I have an idea, though. Or, I was thinking of adding an extra chapter or two to this, to tell the aftermath of things--how things are with the kid they could possibly adopt, or with their own parents, just married life in general, etc. Maybe if people are interested in reading that.
> 
> Any comments are appreciated if you want to tell me what you thought! (I spent too much time on this thing, hahaha)


	2. Chapter 2

Nagisa glanced down at the champagne glass in his hand, his eyes bored and listless. It was a motion he’d repeated several times over the course of the night, every time he’d felt the urge to extract himself from whatever unwelcome situation he found himself in. The first of such unwelcome situations had been when Karma’s various ‘associates’—the ones who had bothered to attend—pulled him into painstakingly awkward conversations about he and Karma’s personal life. Well, they introduced themselves as ‘associates,’ though Nagisa knew they were more ‘peers’ than anything else. Without fail, one of his old 3-E classmates would quickly help extract him from the unfortunate conversation with some sort of excuse, for which Nagisa was always grateful. Akari in particular seemed to have taken on the role of ‘Nagisa’s Polite but Forceful Bodyguard.’

The poor groom knew, though, that his makeshift bodyguard wouldn’t be willing to extract him from this particular situation; he’d have to face Karma’s mother alone and hope for the best. Karma’s father had already cornered Karma himself—Nagisa could see them out of the corner of his eye, and Karma’s expression was already tense—so he couldn’t call to him for help. In truth, this night—their wedding reception—marked Nagisa’s fifth meeting with either of Karma’s parents. All meetings had been brief and uncomfortable for the parties involved; then again, the last four meetings hadn’t been in public, so Nagisa hoped for a better outcome since they were now surrounded by other guests.

Being aware of the absentee nature of Karma’s parents, Nagisa had urged his fiancé to at least notify them of the marriage in a succinct e-mail. It would be better than nothing, and they had a right to know. After all, if Karma was inviting so many of his ‘business associates,’ he should at least inform his own parents. Karma had eventually complied, and to both of their surprise, a reply was received one day afterwards. It was just as succinct as Karma’s message had been—the Akabane couple gave no congratulatory words, but they would provide for more than half of the funds for both the ceremony and reception. It wasn’t a request or a gift; it was a demand.

Nagisa had been completely aside himself regarding the situation, but Karma had seen it in a different light.

_“Don’t think of it as ‘relying on them’—all we’re doing is taking advantage of them. I’ve been doing it for years. They’re aware, too. Since they seem to have no problems with it, what’s the issue?”_

_“It’s... wrong. I want to pay for most of it ourselves...” Nagisa crossed his arms over his chest sullenly. He felt that, no matter how unpleasant and neglectful Karma’s parents were, taking advantage of their money was a bad move._

_“We’ll still be paying for some of it, don’t worry. It’s not like they’ll be paying for the honeymoon.” When Karma said this, his eyes lit up in a lustful anticipation, and he left his seat on the leather couch to approach Nagisa. “That’ll cost a lot, you know. I’m glad this happened; now, we’ll have enough money for my perfect honeymoon plan I was talking about.”_

_Nagisa had left the planning of their honeymoon entirely to Karma, since his soon-to-be husband seemed so enthralled with the idea. Karma hadn’t told him anything about the ‘perfect plan,’ as it was supposed to be a surprise, but hearing his lover talk about it so excitedly made Nagisa’s discomfort lessen somewhat._

_“I guess... So, they’re actually going to come, then? You didn’t just notify—you sent an invitation too, right?”_

_“Well, yeah...” Karma suddenly looked away uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not like they RSVP’d in the reply, though. I doubt they’d come; they just wanted to fund it so their names would be in the program, considering my job and all... They just want to look good to all the important CEO’s...” He chuckled sardonically, and Nagisa found himself worried for his lover._

_“...Well, it sounds more like they’re taking advantage of you, then. Doesn’t it? I don’t want you to regret this later, Karma.”_

_Karma shook his head to quell Nagisa’s concern. “I won’t. I’m on an equal playing field with them now; if they want to scratch my back, I have no problem with it. As long as they don’t expect me to give them a thank-you gift for it, I’m fine. We’ll be fine.” He said it to assure himself as well. It was true that he felt slightly discomfited with his parents’ newfound interest in his personal life. The thought that they would use his marriage—or later, his family—to their advantage scared him, even if he wouldn’t admit it._

_Even though he hadn’t said this, Nagisa sensed it through Karma’s last words. Sighing to himself, he nodded in assent. “Alright. As long as you can handle it.”_

_Besides, this new information, while concerning Nagisa, also granted him a shred of hope for Karma’s relationship with his parents. From what Karma had told him, Nagisa knew what kind of people the Akabane couple were—self-serving. But Nagisa liked to give people the benefit of the doubt now and then. Perhaps this was a sign of them turning over a new leaf and wanting to become a part of their son’s life. After all, it was more than what Nagisa’s own mother had offered..._

The Akabane couple continued to surprise Karma and Nagisa when they’d actually shown up at the ceremony, sitting right in the front row. They hadn’t bothered to RSVP, instantly being allowed in once it was confirmed that they were the groom’s parents. Nevertheless, Karma had been livid when he’d found out, and Maehara went to painstaking lengths to calm him down before the ceremony began. When Nagisa had seen the Akabane’s there, however, a balloon of happiness swelled in his heart. It was a start, after all, even if neither of them smiled the entire time.

At the reception, though, they smiled plenty. Karma had snidely commented that they were both probably drunk within ten minutes.

Nagisa snapped out of his runaway thoughts once Karma’s mother cleared her throat neatly, signaling that she was about to begin speaking—finally. He’d thought, since she called him over, she would have something important to say immediately; however, she’d spent the first few minutes sizing him up and asking which champagne was best. This, at least, gave Nagisa a chance to assess her as well. Asuka Akabane was just as intimidating as the first time he’d seen her, many years ago—it was as if she hadn’t aged at all. Her most striking feature was her eyes, which Nagisa noted, were Karma’s eyes as well. They emanated deviance.

“I’m glad to see that we haven’t wasted our money with this venue—very reminiscent of the Hall of Mirrors, Nagisa-chan.” Karma’s mother spoke articulately, as if choosing her words very carefully. This never failed to put Nagisa on guard, though he easily kept eye contact with his new mother-in-law.

“Thank you, Asuka-san. Kei-kun is the one who helped us with that idea, actually. We had a job near the Palace of Versailles once, and the sight was inspiring.” Kei was a fellow assassin whom Nagisa had become friends with over time; he and Nagisa seemed to be kindred spirits, both baby-faced and compassionate despite their line of work.

“Ah, yes. He was one of those who made a speech not too long ago? So, he’s a _co-worker_ of yours?” With this, Asuka’s mouth twitched slightly, betraying her amusement. She knew of Nagisa’s career by now, and seemed to find it nothing but comical.

Nagisa replied through his teeth, “Yes, Asuka-san.”

The woman seemed to be surprised at how easily Nagisa could meet her gaze—Nagisa could perceive the shock in her eyes, however faint it was—and pursed her red lips. Before Nagisa could continue the psychological dance with his new adversary, though, Karma suddenly appeared at his side to grip his wrist and steer him away from the predatory woman.

“Mother, if you would excuse us...” Karma hastily mumbled and tore away from her quickly. She only smirked in reply before turning away.

The newlywed couple landed to rest a few yards away; Nagisa detached his wrist from Karma to face and question him. “What did your father want to discuss with you?”

“Hey...” Karma huffed, still trying to catch his breath. “...First... what did my mom say?”

“She didn’t say anything. We just talked about the hall. She’s impressed.” Nagisa clipped his words and reached out to take his new husband’s hands. “Now, tell me. Was it bad?”

“Ugh...” Karma smiled at the contact, though it appeared more like a grimace. “Well, it wasn’t _bad_ , but it wasn’t good... He wants to give us more money, but I said no. He also wants to visit more. He said mom doesn’t really care, but he wants to get to know you better, or something...”

“That’s good!” It was more than Nagisa had hoped for, and his eyes shone happily. It sounded like Karma’s father was actually turning around! From what Karma had mentioned about his parents before, it seemed that his father was the more agreeable of the two anyway. “I’d love that!”

“I wouldn’t!” Karma suddenly raised his voice, his eyes wild and anxious. “You don’t want to get to know my dad. I... He pisses me off, with the way he expects money and gifts to fix everything...”

Nagisa smoothed his thumb over the back of his lover’s hand, trying to calm him. “...Did he bring gifts?”

“He wants to give us housewarming gifts, anyway... And he asked if we were going to have kids—because that’s the only thing a marriage is good for, apparently... Tch, it’s like he thinks you’re a girl, or something...” At that comment, Nagisa tensed. Karma caught the reaction and gripped his hands tighter. “...Sorry. Damn, I hate that they have to ruin things like this. We’ve only been married six hours, and it’s already going to shit...”

Karma’s voice practically sounded hysterical, and Nagisa couldn’t help but giggle. “Hey, it’s not ruined. Have you ever thought... spending money and giving gifts—maybe that’s just the only way your father knows how to try and make amends? If he’s trying, won’t you at least meet him halfway? I’m sure he would appreciate it—I would, too. And there’s nothing wrong with him wanting grandkids. I think it’s great, if he’s excited for that...”

With the way Nagisa’s voice trailed off, Karma’s eyes hardened. He suddenly felt extremely selfish—Nagisa’s mother hadn’t shown at the ceremony or reception, unsurprisingly. And here he was, angry at his father, who had shown up _and_ expressed genuine interest in their marriage, even if it was only on a superficial level.

When Nagisa had first come out to his mother about their relationship—once he’d turned eighteen—she’d been despondent, but didn’t throw in any objections either. It was a precarious situation. Nagisa felt as if she was going to blow her top any minute, so they’d kept communication scarce until it was time to tell her about the wedding. As expected, she blew her top at that moment and shouted that she wanted nothing to do with Nagisa from that day forward.

Remembering the tears his lover had shed over the situation, Karma pursed his lips and drew Nagisa closer. “You’re... right. I’m being a brat about it, I know. It’s just... Well, I’m not forgiving him for being a shitty dad, you know. I’m never going to do that.”

“I know.” Nagisa, despite the nature of the conversation, smiled. “I wouldn’t ask you to forgive. But if he’s making an effort to repair, I think you should as well. Let’s invite him over—after we’ve settled in.”

“...If you think we should, then we will.” Karma grudgingly assented, and Nagisa’s smile widened. Even after years, he was still seeing Karma grow as a person, and it warmed his heart.

After their honeymoon—the events of which Nagisa would keep tightly concealed until the day he died—Karma reluctantly contacted his father, who seemed interested to see their home for the first time. Before the meeting, Karma warned Nagisa that his father was a man who paid little to no regard for other people’s feelings. Still, Nagisa warmly welcomed him into their home, and found that wasn’t the case entirely. Karma’s father was stoic and largely indifferent to most things, but simply because he didn’t seem used to friendly relations. Nagisa still managed to get along with him cordially enough, which irked Karma for a few days. However, the man made contact with Karma a week later, wishing to discuss with him certain aspects of his job and whether they could strike a few deals.

Nagisa was disheartened that the father-son relationship would stay purely business-like, but it was better than nothing, and perhaps would improve with time. Karma was still hesitant, but had to take a deal if it would advance his position, so he opted to at least meet with his father from time to time. It wasn’t perfect, but Nagisa felt that they’d made the right choice.

 

 

**“...Huh. A kid? Like, through a surrogate?”**

Karma’s eyes swiftly widened at Isogai’s assumption. “N-No! When did I ever say anything about a surrogate...? Just, through adoption... Haven’t you ever thought? Or talked about it?”

On the other side of the line, Isogai paused to collect his thoughts, and Karma almost regretted calling to ask for his opinion. Then again, he and Nagisa had no one else to turn to—Isogai and Maehara were the only other married gay couple they knew of.

**“Well, we talked about it, yeah. Our lives are too busy for that right now, though. Like—sure, we even looked deeper into adoption for a while, but even just the adoption _process_ is such a hassle. We just don’t have the time for it, and we’d have to save money.”**

Hearing all his own concerns being thrown back at him, Karma rested his head in his hand. “...Yeah, I get that...”

**“So you and Nagisa-kun are really set on it?”**

“I-I wouldn’t say _set on it_... We’ve just been considering it for a long time. I thought you might know of anywhere we could go...”

**“...You should get in contact with a foster family instead of going to an institution. A foster family will be much more willing to part with a child. The orphanages aren’t really motivated to get their kids adopted, we’ve found...”**

“Alright... Thanks for your input, at least. We’ll find out something.”

**“We wish you luck. Oh, are you planning on moving into a single family home for this?”**

“No, our apartment is more than enough. It’s high-end.” Karma wasn’t willing to part with their home. He and Nagisa had already planned on turning the ‘office’ into a child’s room if the time came, and there were too many memories created in this home... And more memories on the way, Karma hoped.

**“If you say so. Tell me how it goes!”**

“We will. Thanks.”

Once he hung up the phone, Karma sighed wearily. He knew he had more than a few headaches ahead of him.

 

 

What Karma had thought would be a lengthy struggle ended up being rather easy, considering his connections. Once he’d asked around enough, a man he’d dealt with in the past—who worked at the JBIC headquarters—had referred him to a foster mother ‘Suzuki-san’. Apparently the man had adopted his own daughter through her, and the process had been made as easy as possible. Karma felt relieved at that prospect, and he and Nagisa immediately made appointments.

Suzuki-san was a benevolent and earnest old woman; she paid no mind to the couple consisting of two male 26-year-olds, which strengthened their resolve significantly. When it came time to meet some of the children, however, Karma hesitated.

“Nagisa... You should just go in by yourself, for now.”

Needless to say, Nagisa was shocked, and stared at his husband silently for a few seconds before replying, “Are you sure about that? You don’t want to look with me?”

“I’m... Well, one kid is great, but being surrounded by them is a bit too much. I don’t want to find myself getting annoyed by any of them.” After all, Karma wasn’t exactly a ‘kid’ person—not that he didn’t want one to raise with his lover. Too many of them, though, and he quickly got irritable. He didn’t want his first meeting with his future child to be one of displeasure.

“...Alright. Don’t complain if I take a while, though.” Nagisa smiled before turning away.

“Hey! Don’t get attached to more than one—and remember, we’re not choosing _today_ , so don’t get carried away!”

“Yeah, yeah...”

Of course, Nagisa knew it wasn’t as simple as ‘choosing’ on the first day. Suzuki-san had to approve that Karma and Nagisa would meet all of the prospective child’s needs, which would involve many future meetings and paperwork... They were willing to go through with it, though.

 

 

Naoki. Naoki was his name. Suzuki-san mentioned that she had just taken him in—he was the youngest, at two years old, previously being held in an overcrowded baby’s orphanage. The toddler, being in a new place so suddenly and being surrounded by older children, was extremely shy and anxious when Nagisa first saw him. He had dark hair and large dark eyes. Suzuki-san, when Nagisa expressed interest, told him that he’d been abandoned and picked up by the orphanage last year. No biological parents had stepped forward to take him.

Despite Karma’s warnings of ‘not choosing on the first day,’ Nagisa was immediately attached to the young boy, and Suzuki-san witnessed the bond with joy. Every day when Nagisa would return to the house, Naoki seemed to be in happier spirits, though the toddler was stubborn and reserved and tried not to show it. Nagisa only found that all the more adorable, and knew that he was the _one._

Hearing Nagisa’s revelation, Karma acted slightly exasperated at his husband’s eagerness, but deep down he was elated to see his lover so happy with the idea of having a son. Within a month they began sorting out their adoption papers. Within two months, Naoki was able to go home with them—the sudden verity of the situation hit Karma like a truck.

When the day came, the toddler only carried a small backpack with him; it didn’t seem to hold much. The sight made Karma’s heart clench somewhat. In the back of the car, sitting silently in the child’s seat, Naoki seemed shy but excited; Suzuki-san had told them that it would likely be very overwhelming for the boy. It would probably take a few days for him to realize that Karma and Nagisa were going to permanently be his new parents. Even now, the kid had apparently settled with calling Nagisa ‘Nagi,’ which Nagisa had no issues with. Naoki had barely attempted to say Karma’s name. Despite Karma’s worry about not being as close to his new son as Nagisa was, Nagisa’s consolations calmed him—Naoki would be calling them ‘Papa and Dada’ soon enough, he’d said. The idea seemed surreal.

They’d already childproofed the house and gotten Naoki’s room ready, of course. Ryouma, Irina and Karasuma’s now six-year-old son, was kind enough to part with some of his old toys so they could be donated to the Akabane family’s new addition. Irina had recently visited to drop off the hand-me-downs and give the budding parents some tips—the ‘terrible two’ wasn’t a myth, apparently. What she’d told them honestly scared the couple; though Naoki seemed passive enough when they’d visited him at Suzuki-san’s, he was apparently bound to be throwing tantrums and getting into trouble. Nagisa couldn’t help but doubt her warnings slightly; it couldn’t be _that_ bad.

After all, Naoki was still as polite and meek as ever. When first entering the apartment, Karma and Nagisa left him free to explore the rooms at his own pace. Naoki had, at one moment, craned his head to try and observe the framed pictures on a shelf in the living room, and Nagisa came over to hold him up so he could see. The toddler spent quite a lot of time looking at Nagisa and Karma’s wedding picture, which displayed the two of them suited up with their arms around each other’s waists.

“Nagi... and Karu,“ Naoki chirped while pointing a chubby finger at the picture, and Nagisa grinned, though on the inside he felt a rolling wave of trepidation. Considering he and Karma were both male, he’d been worrying about how Naoki would feel as he grew up, and whether or not he would be bullied for having a ‘different’ kind of family.

“That’s right. That was Karma and I at our wedding—nine months ago, now. We’re married. Do you know what that means?”

Naoki kept staring at the picture, though he eventually rolled his head back to stare up at his new father. “...Um...”

Seeing the boy’s obvious struggle to rack his brain for a correct answer, Nagisa smiled. “We love each other. And we love you too, Naoki. That’s why you’re here with us—we’ll get a picture with you in it, too.”

Nagisa wasn’t entirely sure if the toddler comprehended, but Naoki sent him an elated grin in response, which was good enough.

 

 

“Nagi! Wa-wah!”

Unfortunately, Naoki’s reserved nature didn’t seem to last very long.

“Naoki, you know what to say,” Nagisa replied to the toddler in a slightly condescending tone—they’d been over this many times before. He stood in the kitchen, looking at the boy who sat on the carpet of the living room, coloring books strewn out before him.

“Wa _ter!_ ” The toddler tightly enunciated his ‘T’ in a vivacious manner; Nagisa was adamant on teaching his new son proper grammar and expanding his vocabulary. With this, Naoki found plenty of opportunities to purposefully annoy his new father.

“That’s right, good boy.” Despite his son’s endearing liveliness, Nagisa felt slightly downtrodden as he filled the sippy cup with water. Today was the first day since Naoki came home that Nagisa had to go out for a job—one that would keep him away from home and risking his life for two weeks.

He’d talked to his bosses about the situation, and luckily they had made allowances for him. By finishing his previous job just before he and Karma adopted, he was able to take a longer break from work in order to spend time with his new child. Three months since Naoki’s adoption, though, the break was over, and Nagisa had to return to his life as an assassin.

During the past three months, they couple had made some changes to their lifestyle; Karma managed to work from home more—the apartment could be spruced nice enough for important meetings from time to time—and Nagisa simply planned on calling his jobs ‘business trips’ for Naoki’s sake. They would tell him the truth when he was older, but right now the concept of Nagisa being an assassin would likely go through one ear and out the other. They also wanted to make sure that the kid wouldn’t go blurting out such information to anyone.

While Nagisa was now slightly excited to get back to his work, it also meant that he’d have to leave Naoki, which distressed him immensely. It wasn’t that Karma was incapable of taking care of their son by himself—though, Nagisa had been doing most of that up until now—rather, Nagisa now had _two_ people to think of and worry about during his jobs away from home. Communication was limited while he was active, so it wasn’t as if he could ask Karma over the phone about how he and Naoki were doing.

Nagisa tried to will his worries away and mustered a smile as he handed the small cup to his son. “Here you go, Naoki.”

“Thanks Nagi!” The toddler abruptly tweeted out, grasping it in an unsteady fist—Nagisa had also been teaching him manners, as it were.

Oh, and there was another issue; after three months, Naoki still hadn’t called him or Karma by any ‘parent names.’ This concerned the couple, though they didn’t want to pressure the boy, so they didn’t take any measures to speed things up. Besides, it wasn’t as if Naoki wasn’t attached to them; this became especially clear that night, as Nagisa was getting ready to leave.

“Remember his afternoon nap—five o’clock every day, and then he eats—oh, make sure to give him something nutritious, please! Try to get him to eat some small vegetables, even though he doesn’t like them—and I know you have to work, but _please_ give him attention! Make sure to change his diapers as soon as possible, Karma, I know how you like to stall. And you know he can be very sensitive sometimes—when he starts crying or screaming, don’t fight it, just let it happen and don’t overreact like you did that one time—“

“I got it, Nagisa,” Karma cut in to his husband’s anxious ramblings with a weary smile, taking his hands. “Afternoon nap, nutritious food—I got all that. I haven’t just been ignoring him these past three months—I know what to do. We’ll be perfectly okay, alright?” He leaned in to kiss his lover softly, and Nagisa closed his eyes with a sigh.

“...Alright. Just—call Bitch-sensei or Kanzaki-san if you need anything. You know they’d come over to help.”

“I will if we need it.” Karma smoothed Nagisa’s hair over, kissing him once more before parting. “I’m worried about you just as much as you’re worried about us, you know... Don’t do anything stupid.”

“You say that every time...” Nevertheless, Nagisa returned Karma’s apprehensive smile. He knew their stakes were much higher now, but he hoped it would only strengthen him in the long run.

When they exited the bedroom, Nagisa with his small travel pack in tow—Karma had never looked in the thing, as it was strictly for ‘work purposes’—they found Naoki just beginning to wake up from the aforementioned afternoon nap. The toddler was rubbing his eyes as he sat up on the couch, his yellow blanket sliding off his side—both men found the sight absolutely adorable.

“Naoki, listen...” Nagisa approached the tiny awakening form slowly, speaking in a gentle tone. He bent down and stroked Naoki’s hair; at the touch, the boy looked up. “I have to leave now... It’s going to be for a couple of weeks, but—“

It didn’t matter what Nagisa was about to say afterwards, as he’d already said the dreadful words. Naoki’s large eyes were quickly swamped in tears, and he began hiccuping in short breaths. “No—No! Nagi leave! No! NO!”

Things quickly escalated, and both men reached out to try and quiet down their struggling son. Karma cringed as he was smacked by a couple stray, flailing limbs; this wasn’t the first time it had happened, though, so he wasn’t too worried. Nagisa cupped Naoki’s sobbing face in his hands and carefully wiped the tears, shushing and quietly murmuring loving words to the boy.

They’d been warned by Suzuki-san before they’d adopted him that Naoki would likely have separation anxiety, and it could get severe. Many kids put through institutions and foster homes acquired this, according to her, though she hadn’t had Naoki in her care for too long so she couldn’t be sure. Karma and Nagisa soon found that she was right, though. Once becoming more attached to his new parents—within the first month—Naoki would become extremely distressed and throw a tantrum when he knew either of his parents would be leaving the house for a lengthy amount of time. This was especially true for Nagisa, so the assassin refrained from leaving Naoki as much as possible during the three months.

Suzuki-san, when they’d asked for her opinion on the subject, had told them to seek professional help if the habit lasted until the age of seven. Both parents blanched at the advice—the idea of this lasting for so many years worried them immensely—but they thanked her. Karma prayed it wouldn’t come to that.

 Despite Nagisa’s soothing words and promises of returning quickly, the volume of Naoki’s sobbing escalated to screeching, and both parents grimaced, though their hearts were twisting. Nagisa knew from Suzuki-san’s advice that he wasn’t exactly handling this how he should be. He should’ve mentioned more briefly about his departure and promised a quick return, then left before Naoki had enough time to completely take in the situation. Now, though, the deed was already done, and Nagisa glanced over to Karma worriedly. His husband nodded, already understanding what he was thinking.

“I’ve got this, don’t worry. Just leave now, or you’ll be late for your plane,” Karma whispered to him amid Naoki’s cries, and Nagisa nodded back to him. He felt his eyes tear up as he bent to give his lover a tender goodbye kiss, and then he did the same to Naoki’s wet cheek. All the while, he was certain his ears were about to start bleeding.

“I’ll be back soon, sweetheart,” he muttered against his son’s cheek. Then, he couldn’t bear it anymore, and speedily took his travel pack before striding to the door, slamming it behind him to shut out Naoki’s sorrowful screeching. He sighed and collected himself, swallowing and willing his tears to recede.

That had been an extremely painful experience, but one that he knew was inevitable. He hoped he could at least be able to put these thoughts of his new family out of his mind when he was in the middle of a kill, or else something was bound to go wrong.

As Nagisa left for his flight, back in the apartment Karma was cradling Naoki on the couch, attempting to stop him from fidgeting and sobbing. When this had happened before, Nagisa was usually there to quell his cries; now, Karma had to think of his own way to fix things.

Sighing to himself, he maneuvered Naoki in the crook of his arm so the two could see each other’s faces. Naoki’s was red and blotchy, his eyes tightly closed off from the rest of the world, as they had been for the last ten minutes or so. His mouth, however, was wide open. Karma wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet, but he didn’t know how much more he could take without crying himself due to his own frustration.

“Hey... Look at me.” He tried to speak in a gentle, low tone, and it seemed to work, for Naoki’s eyes soon opened. He didn’t quiet down any, though. “I know. You’re sad that your dad’s gone, right? I get sad when that happens, too. Don’t worry, though; he’ll be okay. He knows how to handle himself.” Unlike how Nagisa often spoke to their new son, Karma never baby-talked and instead preferred to talk to him in a slightly warmer, quieter tone than usual. Naoki seemed to understand some of what he was saying, at least, and his cries lessened in intensity, though the tears were still running rampant down his face.

Seeing the progress, Karma continued. “Yeah, he’s going to a place in South Korea—that’s a pretty long way away from here. You’d have to cross a lot of water to get there, which is why he’s taking a plane and going through the sky. He’ll only be there for two weeks, though, and then he’ll come back to us. I know it’s bad, not having him here, but we can make it work with just the two of us, can’t we?”

Throughout Karma’s rambling, Naoki’s face had grown more and more pacified, until at last he was silent except for a few sniffles here and there. Karma smiled down at the improvement and held him tighter, tenderly pressing his lips to the small forehead.

“Better?” The young father caringly questioned when he leaned back up, and although there were still tiny tears budding in his eyes, Naoki nodded shortly. Karma felt relieved at the sign, but shock pierced through him when he heard a mumble from the petite form he was holding.

“M-Miss... I miss Papa...” The voice was tiny and thick with tears, but Karma still understood the words. He couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips; Nagisa would be sorry that he had to miss this.

“...Naoki misses his Papa? ...Yeah, I miss him too, bud.” _You’ve got me, though..._

Karma knew it wouldn’t do any good getting jealous of Nagisa and Naoki’s profound attachment, even if it seemed so much stronger than his own bond with the boy. After all, these two weeks were plenty of time for him to strengthen that bond; he wasn’t letting that go to waste.

 

 

During those two weeks, Karma bordered on spoiling the two-year-old—something he was sure Nagisa would scold him for when he got home. He knew that Nagisa had told him to make sure that Naoki ate his vegetables, but how could he go through with that when the small boy looked at him with such a sad face? When he ate sweets, the toddler seemed so much happier and wore the most precious smile.

Naoki, in light of Nagisa’s absence, became much more attached to his other father, and Karma now barely noticed the little tyke following him wherever he went. The day after Nagisa’s departure, when the time came for Naoki’s afternoon nap, the toddler had thrown another tantrum since Karma hadn’t planned on staying with him to make sure he fell asleep. Somehow, the situation ended up in Karma sleeping alongside Naoki, and the two made a habit of it. Karma wouldn’t deny that he relished in the extra hour of sleep; he needed it, and it was nice to have an excuse to cuddle with his son.

A few days before Nagisa’s return date—which Naoki was awaiting with much exuberance—Karma had been overjoyed when Naoki managed to call him ‘Dada.’ It was a shame that Nagisa wasn’t present to hear _either_ of the names’ debuts, but Karma couldn’t wait for him to hear them once he returned.

Now, the night of Nagisa’s return, Karma and Naoki were both overexcited, and Naoki barely made it through dinner. All throughout, he couldn’t stop talking or giggling—mostly gibberish and words that Karma couldn’t understand for the life of him, but he was glad that his son was happy. Technically, tonight was the night Nagisa would come home—near one or two in the morning, they’d predicted—but Karma had told Naoki that it was tomorrow, as the toddler wouldn’t see Nagisa until the morning anyway. He had no doubt that the boy would be delighted to wake up to his Papa’s face.

It took a while for Karma to get Naoki calm and settled in his bed—he wouldn’t stop chanting “Papa coming home!” which Karma found nothing but endearing. Eventually, after the third storybook, the tyke finally dozed off, and Karma sighed as he gave him a final goodnight kiss before turning off the bedside lamp and exiting the room.

When he passed the clock in the living room it read 9:23 PM, and he gave another huff; Naoki had stayed up too late, but it’d been such a struggle trying to get him to sleep. Karma only hoped the boy would _stay_ asleep for the night, lest he interrupt something... important. The married couple, thus far, had taken precautions to only engage in sexual activity when they were certain Naoki was fast asleep, so no such incidents had happened yet.

In the following hours of the night, Karma realized something as he waited for his lover’s return. Taking care of Naoki throughout the day and putting him to sleep had, at least, given him something more to preoccupy his mind and his worries with. Now that the toddler was unconscious in the other room, Karma was left with nothing but his own anxious thoughts of Nagisa again. He felt stressed by it, but knew he wasn’t going to wake up Naoki for such a petty reason, and suffered through the next four hours by himself. Well, he was accompanied by a vodka tonic to calm his nerves, but it was short-lived as he didn’t want to be inebriated when his husband returned. Nagisa would be livid if he pulled that stunt again—the last three times hadn’t been fun, especially considering he didn’t remember them in the slightest.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Karma heard the sound of the lock turning and shot up from the couch. Nagisa entered carrying his pack and smiling; they wasted no time, and strode towards each other for an embrace.

“Nagisa...” Karma whispered against the side of the assassin’s head, smiling in relief. _I missed you._ Nagisa heard it, even if it wasn’t said.

They held tight for a minute and kissed, relishing in the sensation of their arms around each other, before Karma reluctantly let go to allow Nagisa to drop his pack and settle down.

“I missed you too—you both. You have to tell me—how did things go? Is Naoki alright—sleeping? Did he have any problems?” The questions rapidly shot out of Nagisa’s mouth as he seated himself on the loveseat, where Karma joined him with an amused grin.

“Hey, you know the drill—before anything, you need to tell me how you are. Everything go okay?”

Nagisa sighed at the interruption, though his lips quirked up. “Yes, it went fine. I... I thought things were going to be tricky—I thought my worrying about you and Naoki was going to distract me too much—but... it looks like I haven’t lost my bloodlust yet.” Understanding that his lover was confiding in him, Karma smiled at him, and Nagisa smiled back before continuing. “I finished it well and brought back good money... Everything went perfect.”

The more intricate details of Nagisa’s jobs were always under lock and seal; Karma knew this, so he was more than happy with how Nagisa sometimes divulged to him some of his more personal or emotional worries about his job. Karma knew that it could be hard for an assassin to keep their head straight when they thought about how much they had on the line.

Seeing that Karma was satisfied with his report, Nagisa’s became determined with a new mission. “Alright, now that you know I’m okay—tell me about everything! How did it go? How was Naoki?”

Noticing how invested Nagisa was in his interrogating, Karma teased, “Hmm... Well, I don’t know if I want to tell you anything just yet... ” He leaned back, making a show of mulling it over.

Nagisa huffed indignantly and slapped him on the chest, which only induced a laugh from the cheeky man. At this, he only grew more determined. “I’m serious! You have to tell me now—or I’ll find other ways to get it out of you!”

“Oh? What _other ways_ can you convince me? I’m dying to know, Nagisa. Where’s your knife—wanna use that again? Remember last time?” Karma continued his playfulness and lightly goosed Nagisa’s sides in a mock search for the holster at his hip. Nagisa couldn’t help but erupt into a sharp giggle, breaking his strong-willed façade. Though, when he did this, Karma quickly hushed him. “Hey, we can’t be too loud—don’t want to wake Naoki up.”

The lighthearted play seemed to have relaxed Nagisa, and he swiftly settled into his lover’s arms, looking at him with half-lidded eyes that betrayed his lethargy. “Oh? So, I take it things went well over the past two weeks with you two?”

“Yes, they did. And I have a surprise for you tomorrow, concerning that...” Karma couldn’t stop the pride from invading his voice. He was still looking forward to Nagisa discovering that Naoki was now finally calling them ‘Papa and Dada,’ just like his husband had predicted before.

“A surprise? Now you have me curious. You two better not have done anything rash while I was gone.” Nagisa teased back, but didn’t inquire any further into what the surprise was, since his lover seemed so excited about it.

“We didn’t. He’s just gotten more attached to me...” Karma trailed off, though Nagisa immediately smiled and got a warm look in his eye at the revelation.

“Did you two bond?”

“Well, if you call taking naps and reading through my paperwork together bonding—then yes, we did. Oh, and lots of storybooks... I now understand your struggle of reading the same damn story fifty times over.”

Nagisa laughed at the report. “I’m glad... How many tantrums did he have?”

“...Counting the one that he had when you left—eight. Not too bad, I think. He just gets antsy when I get too caught up in my work to pay enough attention—“ Karma caught the slight glaring look in Nagisa’s eyes at that remark and jumped to defend himself, “—Hey, I’m working on that. Now, I’m more of a master at multitasking than I ever have been. Or, I can usually find him something to occupy himself with for a long enough time.”

Eyes softening at that, Nagisa chuckled again. They stayed silent for a few more seconds, taking in each other’s appearances, before Nagisa eventually murmured, “So... Naoki is sound asleep?”

“Why, yes he is.” Suddenly, Karma’s eyes gained a sharp, predatory glint that Nagisa was more than familiar with. “Which means that we can do _this._ ”

At once he pounced on his smaller husband, his hands traveling to places which he’d only been able to dream of during the last two weeks. Nagisa let out a sharp, giggly shriek at the sudden ravishing—though he immediately caught his volume and lowered it for Naoki’s sake.

“K-Karma! Quit—ha, ha—Quit it! Hah—At least—Mmn... Wait for the bedroom!” Nagisa breathed out between his laughter and impromptu moans, though he had to admit that the feeling of Karma’s cold hands on his bare skin after such a long time apart was absolutely astounding. Karma grinned at the reactions he got—both verbal and physical—and grinded down.

“We’ve used the couch before—What’s the big deal?”

“Nao—Ah! Naoki is... He could probably hear us from here, Karma!” Pulling himself out of his reverie, Nagisa mustered enough willpower to grab a couch cushion and throw it at the red head. Karma only laughed as it bounced off of him.

“Alright, alright...” Leaning in closer, he then whispered, “I can’t _wait_ until he starts going to school, and we’d both get a day at home to ourselves... Imagine that.”

“U-Ugh, just take me to the bedroom already!”

 

 

Naoki awakened from his sleep rather early the next morning—7:04, to be exact. Usually the toddler would stay asleep until at least nine, but this was a special occasion; his body wouldn’t let itself rest for that long, as he was so overexcited for his dad’s return. It’d been his last thought as he drifted off to sleep, and it was his first thought as he woke up.

Wasting no time, the two-year-old—though his birthday was in less than a month—tumbled out of his bed, losing his balance momentarily and falling onto his side. Usually this would distress him, the floor being hardwood and uncomfortable, but today his enthusiasm overpowered anything else. In his onesie, the boy tottered over to his parents’ room as fast as he could, pushing the door when he found it to be slightly ajar.

Meanwhile, Nagisa lay motionless and bare underneath the cool covers, deep in a relaxing sleep within his lover’s arms. This relaxing sleep was eventually interrupted by the bed slightly shaking and a high-pitched, loud voice rising from below.

“Dada! Papa home today! Papa’s home!”

“Mnn...” Nagisa grumbled to himself slightly as he was the first of the pair to gain consciousness, and lay in confusion for a few seconds before peering over the side of the bed. There stood Naoki, hitting the side of the large bed with his hands and shouting excitedly—the tiny boy couldn’t very well climb onto the bed by himself, nor see what was on top of it. However, now seeing Nagisa’s still-sleepy but glowing face appear over the edge of the mattress, Naoki halted his banging in shock.

Nagisa took more time to process the situation, but once he saw small tears budding in his son’s eyes, his own eyes widened.

“N-Naoki!”

After taking care to make sure the covers were tightly tugged around the lower half of his body, Nagisa bent just enough to pick up the toddler. “Naoki! How are you up this early? Did something happen?”

As Naoki was being picked up and enveloped in Nagisa’s arms, he started giggling excitedly, a wide grin on his face—the tears, which Nagisa had first thought were ones of distress, were tears of joy. “Papa! Papa!” The teary boy repeatedly chirped, gripping tightly onto his father. There was no layer of cloth to protect Nagisa, so Naoki’s fingernails pinched somewhat, but he smiled regardless.

“W-Wait—Did you say... Papa? Say it again, Naoki!” Nagisa didn’t even need to ask, as Naoki was chanting it in a happy mantra nonstop, huddling closer onto his father’s chest. Surprised but thrilled, Nagisa closed his eyes in bliss, peppering kisses all over the toddler’s face, which Naoki seemed to enjoy.

Karma, roused by all the noise and Nagisa’s movement, wearily blinked open his eyes and yawned before speaking. “...He’s been excited to see you...”

“I... I can see that,” Nagisa answered, shifting his eyes to his tired husband, who was currently admiring the endearing sight. “...So, this was the surprise you mentioned? And did I hear him call you ‘Dada’?”

“You heard right.” Karma grinned wolfishly, his pride showing itself again. “He called you ‘Papa’ right after you left, actually. Pretty ironic, considering you’d been trying to get him to say it for weeks. I think it was just his way of trying to rebel.”

Nagisa chuckled, holding the now calmer toddler tighter against him. “I’m glad, though. Ugh... I love you! I missed you so much!” Returning his attention to his son, Nagisa gave Naoki a few raspberries on the sides of his neck, eliciting a torrent of high-pitched giggles. Karma smiled and rolled over closer.

“What do you say, Naoki?”

“Love you too!” The kid screeched out amid his giggles, and Nagisa smiled, giving a final kiss before suddenly grimacing. With all his movements, he suddenly became increasingly aware of the now-dried bodily fluids between his thighs—of course, Naoki was only two, but that didn’t stop Nagisa from feeling a little bit mortified. He sighed, rubbing his nose against Naoki’s before handing him off to Karma, who took him with a slightly surprised look.

“What’re you doing?” he inquired as Nagisa sat up and, once he was no longer covered by the sheets, made a quick run to their bathroom door.

“Cleaning up! Shut up!” Nagisa shouted readily, prepared for Karma’s impending laughter. Sure enough, Nagisa heard his echoing laughs not a second later. Naoki, who couldn’t possibly have understood what was happening, giggled as well, spurred on by his father’s own amusement.

 

 

Dressed in one of his many suits, Karma stood near the front door, watching Nagisa apprehensively.

“Are you sure you can do this by yourself?”

Opposite of him, Nagisa appeared as confident as ever, holding Naoki against him with one arm. “Yes; we’ll be fine. He’s not going to stay for too long, and we’re only going to chat. He just wants to see Naoki... I’m sort of looking forward to seeing him too, believe it or not.”

Today was the day Nagisa’s father would be visiting, something which Karma had first adamantly denied. However, in light of his own father’s recent visit—the man had been pleased with the news that he now had a grandson, even if his wife still couldn’t care less—he soon became more open to the idea.

Nagisa’s father, since Nagisa had graduated, hadn’t been in contact with him; he’d become part of a new family, one that Nagisa knew nothing about. He’d only found this out through his mother—before she’d decided to disown him, of course—and received his father’s new contact information from her, in case there ever came a time Nagisa would chance a reconnection. That time came after a couple more visits from Karma’s father; spurred on by witnessing his son meet his ‘grandfather’ for the first time, Nagisa finally found the courage to contact his own dad again.

He’d seemed, as he always had been, agreeable. Over the phone, he sounded completely remorseful for the pains Hiromi had put her son through, and he lamented not being there for he and Karma’s wedding. Apparently, Hiromi hadn’t informed him that Nagisa was getting married until the day before the ceremony—unsurprisingly, that was the last time Nagisa’s parents had spoken to each other, and Nagisa’s father had been yearning to contact his son since then. But with Nagisa’s address, number, and e-mail changed since their last meeting—it had been many years, and Hiromi refused to give him the new information—he had no way of getting in touch with his son.

Hearing this, Nagisa felt relieved; he hadn’t made a terrible choice by doing this, it appeared. His father was shocked at the new knowledge that they had a son as well, and immediately asked to be allowed a visit. They scheduled one easily. Nagisa also wanted to meet the woman his father had apparently remarried to, although he knew he would only go through with that if this first meeting went without a hitch.

His father had expressed interest in Karma being there as well, as the two had never met before, but Karma had no interest in being acquainted with the man who had, in his own words, left Nagisa _“to suffer in the clutches of that unstable she-witch.”_ Nagisa only hoped that his husband would come around soon enough. Besides, Karma had a meeting to attend with other members of his department, and Nagisa didn’t want keep him from it.

“Just call me if anything goes wrong—anything. I’ll gladly leave the meeting early if you want me to.” At the seriousness in Karma’s eyes, Nagisa smiled exasperatedly.

“I _won’t_ be doing that. I don’t know what you expect to happen, but everything will be _fine._ My dad always means well...” Karma only grumbled in response, but put on a small smile when Nagisa stepped closer, tilting Naoki up to Karma’s face and continuing in a childish tone, “Alright, say goodbye to your daddy! He’s gotta go.”

“Uuuu...” Hearing this, Naoki’s eyes spotted with moisture, and he let out a displeased whine. Even this was an improvement from some past reactions, though, and both parents knew how to handle it.

“I’ll only be gone for a few hours, bud,” Karma soothed, leaning in to plant a kiss on Naoki’s nose. This calmed the toddler, and Karma repeated the action on Nagisa’s nose before he turned to exit.

As the door shut, Naoki shouted out a “Bye-bye!” which brought a smile to Nagisa’s face. He wasn’t sure how the child would react to the new person he was soon going to meet, but he wanted him to be in a good mood for the occasion. At least Naoki didn’t react adversely to Karma’s father, who didn’t look like a friendly guy in the slightest. This lessened Nagisa’s apprehensions somewhat.

Within ten minutes of Karma’s departure, the doorbell rang, and Nagisa felt blessed by the perfect timing. Naoki, sprawled out on the living room floor and working on a 3-D puzzle, instinctively yelled “Someone’s at tha door!”—a habit he’d gained within the last few weeks. Nagisa chuckled and strode to the entrance, his blood racing with anticipation and nervousness.

Opening the door, his expression morphed into surprise; he recognized his father, but was shocked to see how much he’d changed. Anyone could easily tell the man was getting on in his years, but he now held a healthy tan to his skin and a charismatic tint to his eyes which Nagisa had never seen before.

On the other side of the door, Yoshiro mirrored his son’s reaction, eyes widening in shock and happiness. Never in his life had he seen his son like this—with hair only down to his chin instead of his shoulders, with eyes that only held joy and no sadness, with skin that seemed radiant and glowing. Although there were bags under Nagisa’s eyes, Yoshiro immediately attributed that as a sign of new parenthood.

“It’s... It’s good to see you.” The older man spoke first to break the stubborn silence, and Nagisa blinked.

“...Um, it’s good to see you too...”

Without thinking, Yoshiro raising his arms slightly—an invitation—and Nagisa stepped forwards hesitantly through the doorway. Their arms encased each other in a careful hug; when Nagisa dipped his head to rest on his father’s shoulder, he inhaled deeply.

“Dad...” It was a whisper, but Yoshiro heard it and sighed himself, a weight lifting off his shoulders.

When they stepped back, Nagisa composed himself and opened the door wider, speaking politely. “Please, come in.”

“Thank you,” Yoshiro muttered, taking care to observe his son’s home. It was bigger on the inside than he’d imagined, and well-furnished. Quickly, Nagisa strode towards Naoki, who still lay on the floor, and bent to pick him up. The toddler had been determinedly focused on his puzzle and completely unaware of their guest until Nagisa’s approach. Now, he stared at the stranger in their home with wide eyes. Yoshiro smiled, trying to make himself appear as friendly and harmless as possible to the child.

Truthfully, the old man still felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of his son being gay and having adopted a child; such concepts were pretty unfamiliar to him. Even so, he’d already told himself that he would support and care for his son regardless, considering he hadn’t been there to do so during his childhood. That was something the father felt immense regret for, to this day.

Nagisa, unbeknownst to his dad’s musings, carried Naoki towards him. The toddler was now lightly chewing on his hand—another habit he’d picked up to express nervousness, and one that Nagisa tried to prevent at any chance he could. Nagisa gently took the boy’s hand away from his mouth and looked to his own father.

“...Dad, this is Naoki. Oh, I’m sorry Karma couldn’t be here to see you—he’s at a meeting. Naoki, say hi to your grandpa!”

Despite Nagisa’s excited tone, which would usually get Naoki excited himself, the three-year-old mumbled shyly and incoherently. Apparently that was enough to pass for a ‘hello,’ as Yoshiro smiled and reached out to gently ruffle the boy’s dark hair.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Naoki.”

“I’ll go make us some tea... Well, ah, would you like to hold him?” Nagisa invited cautiously, as the atmosphere was still a little awkward. Yoshiro appeared at a loss for a split second, before gathering his bearings and smiling with his arms outstretched.

“Y-Yes, I’d love that. Thank you.”

Naoki was carefully transferred from one pair of arms to a larger pair, all the while sending Nagisa a frightened expression that screamed _“What are you doing, leaving me in the hands of this giant stranger?!”_ Nagisa smiled in an attempt to reassure the boy, before walking to the kitchen area to prepare the tea, nervousness still coursing through him.

Yoshiro and Naoki looked at each other for a few seconds, the grandfather bouncing him slightly in a motion that seemed to calm him. Before long, Yoshiro moved over to admire the various pictures adorning the living room, his heart clenching when he spotted one of his son in a white tuxedo with another suited, red-haired man standing close against him. The pair looked extremely happy, and Yoshiro found himself forgetting his uneasiness over the situation. When he came across a second frame, encasing an image of both men holding a toddler Yoshiro quickly identified to be Naoki, all of his discomfort disappeared.

When Nagisa brought the tea out and found Yoshiro attempting to help Naoki with his puzzle, he smiled in relief.

“...He doesn’t like much help with that one,” he spoke up as he set down the tray, startling his father who hadn’t heard him approaching.

Naoki piped up in stubborn affirmation, not moving his eyes from the array of polygons, “I can do it!”

Yoshiro chuckled and stood to take a seat with his son on the couch, leaving Naoki to solve the game on his own. Meanwhile, Nagisa was delighted that Naoki had managed to open up somewhat in the time that he was gone.

After the two men spent a few minutes sipping the beverages, Yoshiro found the courage to speak up in a candid but quiet tone.

“I... I’m proud of you, Nagisa. You did the right thing, to follow your heart. I’m so proud of you for tearing yourself away from her... Hiromi—I still don’t know how it all escalated to that point, but... I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to tear you away from it myself. It was... a difficult situation for me. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you’ll let me be a part of your life from now on.”

At first, Nagisa could think of nothing to say, staring at his father’s sincere expression for a couple seconds before turning away. Surprisingly, no tears came to his eyes, though he felt like crying.

“...Thank you,” he responded quietly, setting his cup down. “I... I’d like that.” Many thoughts were racing through his head at this new revelation—how to tell his father that he was an _assassin_ was one—but he decided to leave them unsaid for now.

Assessing that his son was truly happy, Yoshiro smiled in relief. “...Alright.” He looked back to Naoki, who still sat on the floor nearby. “So, you need to tell me all about him! Has it been hard raising him so far?”

Glancing up at the change in subject, Nagisa carefully answered, “...A little bit. Don’t get me wrong, we love him—he can just be very difficult sometimes. That’s expected of toddlers, though.” He chuckled amiably, and his father joined him.

At once, Nagisa found himself rambling on about his son. “He’s prone to throwing tantrums and crying a lot, but we know how to handle it by now. He’s also a very picky eater, which can be tough—but he’s the sweetest thing, you know? Very smart, as you can see with that puzzle. He gets bored of them after an hour or two, though—now, his music and his coloring, he never gets bored of. He has two xylophones and a toy piano in his room, and he just plays them _constantly_ —I think he’s going to have a big artistic flare when he grows up. That would be a breath of fresh air, really, considering Karma and I neither have much artistic talent... He’s pretty shy, too, but once he gets comfortable around someone he can instantly grow attached. He’s had some separation anxiety issues, but we’re hoping that’ll get better with time. He just can’t stand it when we leave him sometimes; I get nervous about how he’ll handle going to school for the first time...”

Suddenly Nagisa noticed how Yoshiro was staring at him with a patient but amused smile, and he was brought back to his senses.

“Oh! I was rambling, wasn’t I—I’m so sorry... You should’ve stopped me...” He chuckled nervously and waved his hand in an apology, but this only brought on a laugh from his father.

“No, no—I love hearing you talk about him. Sounds like how I talked about you when you were first born.”

“...Really?” At this unsuspecting comment, Nagisa’s eyebrows raised.

“Yes, of course. New parents always do that—having a kid brings out something in you, and you can’t help but want to share it with everyone else. I understand.”

His heart warming at his dad’s words, Nagisa smiled and glanced at his own son, who was just appearing to become bored of his puzzle. Most of the nervousness had finally washed away; albeit slowly, he was prepared to bring his father into his life.

 

 

Nagisa started up the computer with a tired huff of breath, rubbing his face. He’d taken a quick look at himself in the mirror before he’d left the bedroom, and wasn’t surprised—his hair was a mess, and he had large bags under his languid eyes.

He expected nothing less; yesterday had been a celebratory occasion for the whole family, as it’d been the year-anniversary of when the couple had adopted Naoki and taken him home for the first time. Naoki had been high-spirited the entire day, delighted at eating his first slice of cake and managing to stay up an hour late. Once he’d fallen asleep, though, the celebration continued for Karma and Nagisa—in a manner that wasn’t kid-friendly in the slightest, and left Nagisa with bruised hips the morning after. Tense and aggravated at his internal clock for waking him up at seven in the morning, he’d thrown one of Karma’s larger t-shirts over his naked form and carefully trudged out to the living room, mindful of his perpetually aching backside. There, he grabbed a much-needed mug of coffee before checking his e-mail.

In his inbox he found the message he’d expected—from Akari, clarifying their visit next weekend—but also found another unexpected one from his father. Hesitantly, he clicked to open his father’s first, settling more comfortably into his chair.

**Nagisa,**

**I wasn’t sure whether to tell you this or not, but my conscience would torture me if I didn’t. Recently I met with your mother again; it was of my wife’s suggestion. She has a very kind nature, almost strangely so, and would feel ashamed if I didn’t check up on my ex-wife’s well-being once in a while, considering Hiromi might’ve been in a crazy state.**

**Our meeting was tense, but I ended up telling her about your son. It wasn’t much, and I apologize if you didn’t want her to know—it just slipped out. She seemed very uncomfortable when I mentioned you, but was shocked about Naoki. I sternly told her not to do anything rash or interfere with your son’s life, though, so don’t worry.**

**It may have been wishful thinking on my part, but near the end of our meeting, she seemed very dejected. I think she may be second-guessing about the way she left things with you. I know you have no reason to do this, but please think of opening yourself to her if she makes a genuine effort to contact you again in the future. I am not certain, but I believe that she could change for the better. If you would rather stay out of touch with her anyway, I understand completely. I just thought I should tell you this.**

**\--Your father**

Nagisa’s coffee stayed cooling in his hands as his eyes stared at the screen, unseeing. He almost forgot to breath, but soon took in a large gulp of air, slowly.

It was almost unbelievable, but his mother had surprised him before. He knew exactly what Karma would do if he saw the message—delete it, obstinately forbid Hiromi from _ever_ getting in touch with either Nagisa or Naoki, and assure Nagisa that the woman would never bother them again. For a second, Nagisa yearned for Karma to burst out from the bedroom and do just that, as a shot of sadness and anxiety coursed through his veins. Because he thought he’d put his mother’s abuse and disparagement behind him—yet, here she was, suddenly at the forefront of his thoughts again.

He fought to compose himself and took a drink of his coffee. After a minute of sorting through his feelings, he decided to not show Karma the message and closed out of the window. It wasn’t that he felt hopeful; his mother wouldn’t have a change of heart so easily, he knew.

But he was stronger now. If it happened eventually, he would face his mother with confidence, being the person he’d always wanted to be.

“Hey, you okay there?”

Nagisa turned his head to face the voice, surprised that Karma would be up this early as well. The man stood smirking and leaning against the wall next to their bedroom door, wearing only his boxers from the night before.

“Y-Yeah...” Nagisa cleared his throat after the answer came out cracked, and Karma sauntered forwards.

“I didn’t wanna stay in bed without you next to me,” he intoned against Nagisa’s ear when he reached it, and Nagisa blushed, setting his mug on the computer desk to avoid any spills.

“Sorry for waking you. Couldn’t fall back asleep once I woke up.”

Karma said nothing, but leaned back to face him and reached out, cradling Nagisa’s face in his hands. Their eyes exuded trust and love as they both leaned forward, sharing their first kiss of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and thank you everyone for all the support on this! It's been great, and it makes me so happy and more confident! I can't thank you enough, really. I hope this little (well, not little, because it's longer?) sequel was good, because it's going into a more "family" direction rather than having the story stay just romantic. I hope it was still pleasing, though.  
> Obviously the names I picked for Karma's mom and Nagisa's dad aren't canon, since those haven't been disclosed (yet), but I had to give them names for this. Also, the situation with orphanages in Japan is real and terrible, so I encourage you to look it up if you want to know more.  
> I may post a third chapter to this if it occurs to me (there's just so much I could write about Naoki's childhood, haha...), but for now, thank you! I'd love to hear what people thought of this, if you want to comment. <3 <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to Nagisa~!

It was a picturesque summer’s day, with the temperature outside skyrocketing and the sky shining bright blue. Nagisa preferred to wait out such days inside with the A/C turned up high, hopefully spending some quality time with his favorite and only son. Today, he’d even picked out a few of the boy’s favorite movies for the pair to watch together. Unfortunately, the universe was fighting against him at the moment.

“...I realize that, sir, but—Um...” he implored into the phone, only to be cut off once again by his boss’s monotone and untiring voice. Standing at the window and admiring the lively scenery calmed his nerves somewhat—there were some older kids playing soccer outside, and Nagisa was currently rooting for the blue-shirt team—but he hadn’t expected a call today. Any unexpected calls concerning his line of work brought a shudder out of him, for obvious reasons.

“Yes, but I really wasn’t planning on—“

Once again, he was interrupted; his boss had no interest in the details of his personal life, he’d said many times before. The old man simply wanted Nagisa to do his best following orders, and that was all. It wasn’t that he was unreasonable to work under—he was always willing to compromise with Nagisa if the assassin happened to be too busy to take a client. However, Nagisa knew that too much noncompliance would quickly make his boss antsy, and subsequently put him in hot water.

But, he’d _just_ returned home from a job last week! He had been hoping to wait at least a little longer before taking his next client. Since starting kindergarten, Naoki’s separation anxiety hadn’t improved in the slightest, and he dreaded having to leave the four-year-old again so soon.

His boss spent a few more minutes assuring him that this case wouldn’t take as long as the last one; he’d only be gone five days, at most. Apparently, Nagisa’s skill level was exactly on par with the mission, and he would surely work well with the team being assembled for it. Hearing this—and the promised amount of money, which always sparked his interest—Nagisa sighed, knowing he would have to concede sooner or later.

“...Alright, sir. I’ll—“

Suddenly, a crash. With the sound of a few loud consecutive thuds, there also came a distinct, high-pitched wailing, echoing throughout the apartment. Nagisa cursed loudly into the phone.

“Hold on—I’ll be right back!” He barely excused himself before setting the phone on the kitchen counter, running to the hallway where Naoki’s room resided.

When he reached the scene, it was as he expected. Various books—mostly picture books, but some were thicker and of a higher level—were strewn out across the floor, with Naoki sitting in the center, his jaw hidden away by his hands. The small soccer ball lay a few inches away, which garnered a stern glare from Nagisa.

“Naoki! Haven’t you been told—if you want to play with that, you need to do it _outside!_ You need to be more careful!”

All the scolding parent received was a wail in response, as Naoki gingerly separated his hands from his face to open his mouth wide in pain. Nagisa saw the blood on the side of his jaw, the area around the scrape sticky and inflamed, and immediately felt regretful for yelling. He knelt down to his wounded child, mentally noting to put the books back on the bookshelf later.

“...Honey, let me see...” he muttered, carefully prying Naoki’s hands away before they could return to concealing the scrape. He used his other hand to brush a few tears from the boy’s face; he was still crying, seemingly blind to anything but the pain. “Aw, I’m sorry...”

Naoki only sniffled, reaching his arms out for the comfort he knew his parent would provide. Nagisa didn’t know whether the kid was particularly sensitive for his age or if this was typical—it wasn’t as if he had much experience with small children before Naoki. Regardless, he picked up the boy and held him close as they traveled to the kitchen, where the first aid kit was hidden under the sink.

Mindful of his boss still being on hold, Nagisa swiftly set Naoki down on the counter and got to work, disinfecting and bandaging the scrape as if it was second nature—which, at this point, it was. As he pressed on the tender area, Naoki winced, still sniffling, and Nagisa talked to distract him.

“How did this happen exactly? Did your ball knock into the bookshelf again?” He knew the answer already, but was still interested in whether his son would be truthful or not.

The boy said nothing outright, simply making a small, affirmative sound before mumbling, “The books hit my face... The corners hurted me...”

“Ouch,” Nagisa hummed in empathy, making sure the bandage was secure before kissing the cheek above it. “You’ll be okay. Stay here a bit.” He was rushing to get back to his call as he spoke, but he made sure to state his order in a firm tone so Naoki wouldn’t run off to injure himself again. The toddler pouted at being left alone, but was more annoyed than sad, and sat with his legs swinging off the counter.

Taking a deep breath, Nagisa picked the receiver back up. “Sorry, sir, there was a problem... Yes.” As time went on, he felt more and more stress piling up inside him; he knew there was no way he could get out of this now. “...T-Tomorrow? Are you certain...? Ah, yes, sir... Alright... Yes, I remember. I will be there... Okay. Yes. Thank you, sir. Goodbye.”

He hung up and put down the phone slowly, suddenly feeling a weakness spread throughout his limbs. Just imagining the week ahead of him... he knew it was going to feel like riding a rollercoaster, and not the fun kind. He was the one who drove Naoki to his day-care every weekday; now, he unexpectedly had a job on such short notice... Karma had just finished taking care of Naoki by himself last week, and now he’d have to go through it again—surely he would get behind on his work! Perhaps Naoki would be forced to stay at home for a few days, and they would have to notify his teacher... Not that the boy would mind that, admittedly.

Nagisa was pulled from his fretful inner rambling when Naoki made a low, aggravated whine, clearly bored at waiting too long. Sighing and trying to shake out his nerves, Nagisa pulled him off the counter and made his way to the sofa.

“Wanna watch some T.V. with me?” _Please, don’t say you want to go outside..._

“...Okay,” Naoki mumbled, apparently feeling it appropriate to begin gnawing on his left hand again. Nagisa was glad the boy wasn’t sucking his thumb—he’d researched, and found that habit to be typical of most young children—but this behavior only seemed worse, and he worried endlessly about it. The only times Naoki didn’t have his left hand in his mouth were the times he was intensely preoccupied with something or other.

Once they were seated with Naoki curled up in his lap, Nagisa took the hand, sticky with saliva, and wrapped it in his own. He’d been in contact with what seemed like a million different types of bodily fluids by now, so it didn’t bother him anymore.

They watched nonsensical kids’ shows for an hour. All the while as he sat, Nagisa mentally planned out the rest of the week and barely listened to Naoki’s attempts at conversation. Every once in a while he offered a “Yeah,” or a “That’s nice, sweetie,” and Naoki didn’t seem to be perturbed by his father’s lack of involvement, blabbering on senselessly as kids do. When Karma finally returned home for the day, Nagisa’s relief was reflected in Naoki’s happy cheering.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“Hey, squirt, how was your day—“ Karma, as he set his briefcase on the nearby worktable—which was currently overcrowded with various papers, contracts, and overused coloring books—paused once he noted the bandage on his precious son’s face. “...What’s this?”

Nagisa nearly rolled his eyes at the melodramatic intensity of his husband’s voice. “He just had an accident, playing inside. Some of his books fell on him. I patched him up; he’s fine. Aren’t you, pumpkin?”

Naoki nodded, squirming out of Nagisa’s lap so his other father could have the honor of picking him up. As Karma complied—groaning slightly at carrying the weight of the child after such a tiresome day—Nagisa grimaced, remembering the mess in Naoki’s bedroom. He still needed to clean that up.

Inspecting Naoki’s face thoroughly, Karma nodded approvingly at the bandaging and pecked the top of his head before setting him back down, regardless of how Naoki whined at being let go so quickly.

“Other than that, have a good day?”

“Yeah... Well, we need to talk. I’m ordering delivery for dinner.” Nagisa stood from the couch, eyeing the phone as he spoke.

Karma’s eyebrow raised wearily, curious, but he could feel that Nagisa didn’t want to talk about anything serious with Naoki around. “...Alright.”

After the family had dinner—Naoki’s take-out of choice, of course—and the child was put to bed, unknowing of the situation, Nagisa let out a sigh and sat adjacent to his lover on the sofa. Karma, once again, raised an eyebrow, now slightly worried.

“What was eating you today?”

Nagisa looked into his eyes and assessed that he wouldn’t overreact, then responded monotonously, “I got a call from my boss today. Got a job—this one’s important, apparently. There’s no way I can turn it down. Starts tomorrow, too. I have to leave in the early morning to get picked up—five.”

Pursing his lips and letting the information sink in, Karma didn’t speak for a while. When he let out his words, Nagisa could easily hear the aggravation poorly hidden in them. “...Well, how long will you be gone this time?”

“Five days—at _most._ Maybe even three or four days, if I get it done fast. And I will. The letter with my return date will probably show by tonight or tomorrow, so you won’t have to spend that long without me.” Trying his best to be reassuring, Nagisa placed his hand on top of Karma’s; seeing their wedding rings juxtaposed always gave him strength. “I’m sorry.”

“No...” Karma sighed, and pulled his hand away to rub his face, but then quickly turned to Nagisa and pulled him closer with one arm. “It’s not your fault, I know. I’m just fucking annoyed by it.”

“I... know,” Nagisa replied hushed, trying to be the calm to Karma’s storm, and slowly closed the gap between their lips. The softness and warmth of Nagisa’s lips managed to relax Karma, who pushed harder into the embrace. Like Nagisa expected, the kiss soon turned passionate, and Karma’s tongue lunged into his mouth desperately before they could part. When they did, Nagisa panted for air.

Equally out of breath, Karma gripped his waist—he loved that part of Nagisa’s body, how slight it was—and whispered into his ear, “If it has to be this way... I need to have you tonight.” He kissed at the soft skin underneath the ear. It was maddening, how he was forced to give his husband away days at a time—even if it was for Nagisa’s career, which was a core part of who Nagisa was, and Karma knew that... It’d gotten a little easier as time went on, but only because they’d become used to it.

Nagisa inhaled with a hum, thinking. He needed to wake early, so he was hoping to get to bed early as well. Though it was only around 7:30 now—he supposed...

“Take me to our room now, then...” Nagisa whispered back, and Karma breathed out in slow relief, picking him up like a bride. At least, Nagisa would allow him this—would allow himself to be thrown on the bed and for Karma to do what he wished. Neither of them smiled because they didn’t have time. Although, they _did_ have enough time for Nagisa to remind them both not to be too loud, and that Naoki was likely just falling asleep. It was funny how things worked out like that now.

As Karma pushed into him, Nagisa reveled in every moment. The pressure was exquisite.

_At least this part of my day will make up for how shitty the rest has been._

He immediately berated himself for thinking such a thing, in this situation; it almost made him laugh. Karma sucked at the side of his neck, distracting him from his thoughts and inducing a low moan. As the man on top began leisurely rolling his hips, Nagisa let out a few words between his panting.

“...I... I love you—Hn... Karma... Don’t—do anything... stupid... When I’m gone...”

Karma finally let out a miniscule smile—the corner of his lips upturned, barely, and he hid it in Nagisa’s shoulder, moving faster. He tried to remember exactly when Nagisa had started saying these words to him—the same ones Karma would customarily say to Nagisa before he left—but he couldn’t recall the point at which they’d made this change.

“...Tch, silly... I just want to... feel you, right now... Please,” Karma whispered back, and Nagisa complied by staying silent aside from a few louder huffs and airy, high moans. The room was cloaked completely in darkness, the blinds and the door closed off, and it only gloriously suffocated Nagisa further, his panting breaths increasing in intensity and volume. He couldn’t even see Karma’s expression.

When they climaxed, Nagisa blindly clamped his lips onto his husband’s to muffle the sound, and Karma unceremoniously collapsed onto him. The pair laid for a few moments, undeniably sweaty and half-conscious, before Karma rolled over tiredly, allowing Nagisa to nestle into his side. He did so, with a delirious post-orgasm hum.

Both men thought of things they wanted to talk about, but neither remembered to say them before they succumbed to sleep. Luckily, Nagisa had remembered to set his phone alarm for four in the morning, since he figured something like this would prevent him from setting the clock’s alarm in time. He was dealing with Karma, after all.

As soon as he gained consciousness, Nagisa dove for his phone to turn off the alarm, not wanting to wake his partner. Once the beeping finally ceased, he took a moment to collect himself and stretched, perched on the side of the bed. It was in that moment he noticed how his muscles were screaming in agony, sore and tired, not to mention the dried bodily fluids crusted onto his backside and abdomen. He grimaced and was tempted to let out a wail of despair, but knew he had no time to pity himself—only an hour was left to prepare.

With the speed and skill of someone who’d been through this many times before, Nagisa soundlessly cleaned himself up, got dressed, and readied his work pack all within twenty minutes. Once he guaranteed that he was arranged to leave, he crept back onto the bed and slowly laid to face Karma, who was still sleeping deeply and tightly clutching a pillow in Nagisa’s absence. Nagisa closed in on him and repeatedly combed a hand through his fiery hair, knowing this would be enough to wake him gradually.

Within thirty seconds of the unhurried contact, Karma’s eyes were open and staring at Nagisa resignedly, but with love. The _“good morning”_ was inherent in their eye contact, so Karma got straight to business when he spoke.

“What time is it?”

“Almost 4:30, so I’ll be leaving soon. Are you going to take Naoki to and from his class until the end of the week?” Luckily, it was a Wednesday morning, so even if Nagisa took five days to complete his job, Karma would only have to drive Naoki for three days.

“I...” Karma’s voice was still groggy with sleep, and he rubbed his hand over his eyes to allow himself a moment. “I... guess. I can do that. I’ll let my top assistant know and get her to take care of things until I arrive. She can deal; I’ve got a kid to raise.”

Nagisa giggled slightly at his obstinacy, though he couldn’t help but feel responsible for the trouble. “...You could also ask one of the other parents to give Naoki a ride, you know. We have the number of Maeda-san—Tetsuya’s mom.”

Tetsuya Maeda was a boy, a few months older than Naoki, whom the soft-spoken kid had become friends with since enrolling in the kindergarten class. In fact, he was the _only_ kid Naoki reportedly had become friends with, but Nagisa and Karma weren’t too perturbed yet. One good friend was better than none, and Maeda seemed like a kind boy with a decent upbringing, so both parents approved. The mother also appeared to be amiable.

Despite this, Karma’s answer was immediate. “Absolutely not. I’m not going to put our son through that.”

Nagisa giggled again at how his lover’s tone managed to be exhausted and overdramatic at the same time. “Carpooling isn’t _that_ awful—“

“You know how he is. It doesn’t matter how close he is to his friend—he’d be uncomfortable in some unfamiliar car—“ Karma interrupted himself with a yawn, “—and I won’t let that happen. I’m taking him.”

“...Alright.” Nagisa smiled warmly, leaning in closer for a kiss. Sometimes he wondered if they spoiled their child—every time, he came to the conclusion that they did—but he hoped it wouldn’t backfire in the end, even if Bitch-sensei constantly nagged them that it would.

The couple rested together lazily for a while longer, but Nagisa soon checked the time and willed himself to get up. Karma grumbled at the lost contact and raised himself as well, just to squeeze in one final embrace.

“You’d better be okay. Don’t do anything stupid. We’ll be fine until you get back.” He whispered all the routine phrases into the assassin’s ear, holding him tight. Nagisa simply smiled once they parted, nodding and turning to go to Naoki’s room. After haphazardly clothing himself, Karma followed, both of them silent on the hardwood floor.

At some point during the past year, the couple had realized that they couldn’t go on with things as they were, with Naoki continuously witnessing Nagisa leave and, every time, throwing a teary fit that lasted hours. It was simply too much stress, too many tears. Luckily, they talked to Irina—the busty woman was chock full of experience garnered from raising her own son—and took their former teacher’s advice, despite how cruel Nagisa felt it was.

They wouldn’t tell Naoki that his father was going to leave. The boy would have to wake up with Nagisa already gone, and Karma would do his best to subdue his sadness with promises of Nagisa’s swift return. There was still an ample amount of tears and screams involved, but it was much less than what their former method unleashed, so the parents were relieved with their results. Even if it broke Nagisa’s heart to not be able to say goodbye.

Still, he always crept into his son’s room before he left. He observed the serene, sleeping face for a few moments—still chubby with baby fat and soft with baby skin—before pressing a careful kiss to the boy’s forehead. Naoki didn’t stir or make a sound, so Nagisa stayed for a few more seconds before exiting the room. He had to allow himself at least that much.

Karma was waiting for him back near the front door, with the same serious expression. Both of them didn’t need to say much, so they only held each other loosely for a few more minutes before parting with a final kiss.

“Love you,” Nagisa whispered while their faces remained close, and Karma nodded, the same sentiment apparent in his eyes. The assassin sent him a smile that said _“I’ll be fine,”_ before gathering his pack and departing out the door, shutting it resolutely.

After a deep breath—adapting to the sudden silence was always difficult—Karma stretched and decided to return to bed for a few more hours. There would be no point to waking Naoki up this early, and imagining the day ahead of him gave him the urge to bury his face into his pillow.

 

 

Once falling back into a light sleep, Karma stayed unconscious for three more hours, until his bed began shaking in irregular intervals.

“Daddy! Papa! Wake up-up! Up!”

Since he’d grown taller, Naoki had been full-heartedly attempting to jump on his parents’ bed by himself, without having to be helped up. He’d only succeeded one or two times—because he’d been clinging and climbing the sheets—so it was a tricky venture. Hearing a few louder thumps and a small grunt of pain, Karma’s blood ran cold.

“Hey, don’t hurt yourself...” he mumbled sleepily, turning onto his side to hoist up the stubborn kid—though he was still feeling extremely tired, so he stayed laying down and opted to place Naoki on his stomach. Since becoming more adventurous, the boy had subsequently been involved in an increasing number of small accidents and injuries—the bandage, still on his jaw, was nothing new. The parents’ bedframe had been the perpetrator in these incidents numerous times, so Karma didn’t want to add another accident to that list.

“I won’t!” Naoki denied tenaciously, though he was mindful of his father’s fatigue and made sure not to yell too loudly. He laid on his stomach so he could snuggle closer to the familiar form and whisper instead of shout. “Papa is s’posed to get me ready for s’coo. Where’s Papa?”

The question, hushed near his ear, almost made Karma shudder in anticipation for the storm. He ran his hand through Naoki’s hair, preemptively calming him, before answering bluntly, “Papa is on another business trip; he just left this morning. He’ll be back much sooner than usual, though. In less than five days, he’ll be home.” Karma still wasn’t certain of the return date, but he wanted to give his sensitive son the best case scenario.

As expected, Naoki’s face rose out of Karma’s neck immediately, and the toddler’s eyes became like wide saucers. Karma braced himself, but luckily the onslaught wasn’t as loud as he’d thought it would be. Thick globs of tears rolled down Naoki’s cheeks, and he sniffled and whimpered, but he didn’t scream.

“Is... Is it ‘cos—I was being bad at s’coo? I p-pwomised I... I pwomise I’ll be g-good! W-Won’t do it a-again! Is Papa m-mad at me...?” Naoki stuttered out sadly amid his crying, to Karma’s surprise. Where had this come from?

“H-Hey—it’s not your fault, at all. Naoki, this had nothing to do with you,” he tried to comfort his distressed son, drawing him closer again and running his hand through his thick shock of dark hair. “Papa isn’t mad at you at all; in fact, he misses you very much whenever he has to go. You don’t need to worry about anything. He loves you very much, and he’ll be back before you know it.”

Naoki continued to sob, but said nothing more. Karma only hoped his words got through to the toddler. Feeling his shirt grow damper by the minute, he decided to wait the ‘crying period’ out, methodically rubbing Naoki’s back or head every few minutes.

_At least he isn’t screaming or anything._

It lasted almost twenty minutes, and Karma teetered on the edge of sleep again near the completion of it, but Naoki’s tremors eventually settled. Peering over at the digital clock on their bedside table, Karma sighed through his nose.

“You feel okay now, buddy? We’ve gotta get you ready to go to school soon.”

Shaking his head from beneath the man’s hand—Karma thought he distinctively resembled a wet puppy shaking off water—Naoki peered up in anxious surprise. “H-Huh? But Papa...”

“He’ll be alright; I’m gonna take you to school and everything until he gets back. Remember, like last week?” Karma struggled to sit up as he spoke, still holding his son.

Dissatisfied, Naoki pouted heartbreakingly, an expression both parents had gotten used to. “...Do I _have_ to? Papa’s...”

Karma wasn’t willing to take any excuses, and rose from the bed, carrying the pouting boy to his own room. “I had no problem getting you ready for day-care last time; everything will be okay. I’ll get you all prepared, make you a lunch, and stay with you as long as you need me when we get there, okay?” It wasn’t true that he could stay _that_ long, though, as he had to go to work. No matter how much he’d rather spend the day with his son making origami cranes, he knew he couldn’t put off his job for too long. His assistant was already going to be angry enough as it was.

Again, Naoki said nothing, but nodded and hid his damp face in his father’s neck as he was carried. Throughout getting dressed, the boy made a few more attempts at begging to stay home for at least the day, but Karma wouldn’t have it. He’d heard it all before, after all.

It wasn’t that Naoki was a spoiled or troublesome kid—well, spoiled maybe... But, Nagisa and Karma had been trying their best, and they didn’t believe they were bad parents. Naoki hit all the childhood developmental milestones as expected: he was now potty-trained, had good coordination and flexibility, was curious about _everything,_ and had a vocabulary larger than either parent had expected. Nagisa had been working to help him overcome some of his shyness and use his words more frequently, especially among strangers or unfamiliar people. Hopefully, the toddler would be making more friends soon.

Unfortunately, with every good development there seemed to be a worse one cropping up as well. Naoki’s childish mood swings only intensified as time went by; like any kid, the slightest thing could send him into a violent rage or a sobbing mess. His separation anxiety only seemed to worsen since he’d started attending kindergarten. Every day that Nagisa or Karma dropped him off, he would throw a hysterical fit at the door, and the parent would have to spend at least ten minutes calming him down before it was possible to leave him. The teacher of the small day-care class had told them that it wasn’t uncommon, and Naoki would grow out of it soon, just as anyone else they’d asked for advice had said. The couple only hoped so. Naoki would have to enter elementary school in about two years, and if he was still having these emotional meltdowns by then, things wouldn’t be pretty.

Some nights Nagisa found himself doubting his ability to raise their child, but Karma always succeeded to cheer him up and reassure him that they were doing a good job. If Karma had any doubts of his own, he didn’t show them.

Unfortunately, despite Karma’s attempts to cheer his son up this particular morning, Naoki was still in low spirits during the car ride to his day-care. Through the rear-view mirror Karma spied him, settled in his booster seat with his left hand in his mouth. Thinking of Nagisa, he grimaced and decided to gently speak up for one last attempt.

“Naoki... take your hand out of your mouth, please. Just because your Papa isn’t here doesn’t mean you can get away with that.”

The boy in the backseat glared, meeting his father’s eyes through the mirror, but detached his reddening hand from his face. It had more than a few teeth marks on it, and Karma sighed.

“Aren’t you excited to go see your teacher, or your friend...?” When he received no reply, Karma tried again, “...It’s not that bad, really, Naoki. You know you’re safe there, and the other kids are nice, aren’t they?”

“I don’ like the other kids.” Finally, Naoki answered while still pouting, his arms loosely crossed over his seatbelt.

“Hm? Why not? Are they not nice to you?”

“No, they’re fine. I guess. I jus’ don’ like them! I only like Maeda-kun.” His son was showing his stubbornness again, that much was clear. Karma felt a migraine coming on; when he’d gotten into this, the thing he’d been dreading the most was having a kid with pig-headed tendencies. Too much like his own younger self...

“Well, you should at least try to make some more friends, Naoki. When you get to know them better, I’m sure they won’t seem as bad as you might think they are. Don’t just judge people without getting to know them.” Saying this, he was thinking of his own friends he’d made in 3-E, hoping at least _some_ of this would get across to Naoki lest the boy shut himself off from potential lifelong friendships.

At first, Naoki didn’t reply and simply stared out the window; Karma assumed his advice had gone in one ear and out the other. Then, after a minute of silence, and in the same obstinate tone, “...Maeda-kun and me are gonna marry like you and Papa when we grow up.”

He almost swerved off the road and into a traffic sign, but luckily managed to control the surprised jerk of his limbs.

“Wh-What did you just say?!” Once he shouted, he saw Naoki’s eyes widen through the small mirror, and though his son schooled his expression back to passive determination a few seconds later, he still felt remorse for his tone. He continued gentler, not knowing how to deal with the situation. “...I-I just... Where did you get this idea?”

“Don’ you and Papa love each other? I love Maeda-kun too, so me and him should marry.” His son made it sound so simple that Karma couldn’t help but shake his head in baffled amusement.

“Well, yes, but—there are different degrees of... that. It’s something you’ll realize when you’re older... Aren’t there any girls in your class who you think are pretty?” Still frazzled, Karma couldn’t help but ask the question. The thought that he and Nagisa could’ve influenced the boy’s budding sexuality in some way caused a cold lump of anxiety to nestle in his stomach.

“...Yeah, so?”

The answer settled Karma’s nerves somewhat, though he was still confused at his child’s attitude. “...Ever tried talking to them? Do you have any crushes?”

“I don’ talk to any... What’s a cr-crush?”

Finally, he seemed to get something more than stubborn disobedience out of his son—curiosity. “It’s... Do you ever feel flutters in your stomach when you’re around someone? It’s a warm and fuzzy, happy feeling, and you might feel nervous or embarrassed, or hot all of a sudden—that’s a crush.”

Naoki paused for a few seconds with a thoughtful look on his face, before shaking his head slowly. “...never felt that...”

“...What about Tetsuya? Do you feel like that around him?” His hands gripped the wheel tighter as he asked, but he knew he couldn’t just leave the topic alone now.

This time, Naoki suddenly got an uncomfortable look on his face—almost scared. Karma blinked in surprise, fighting to keep his focus on the road. The boy had been almost prideful when he spoke of wanting to marry his friend earlier, so this new development came out of left field. After a few more seconds of silence, he heard a quiet mumble from the backseat.

“...dunno.”

“...It’s alright, you don’t have to know. Don’t go worrying about anything like that, okay?” Through the mirror he saw Naoki nod, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he drove up to the kindergarten just in time.

He wasn’t sure if the conversation he just had with his son was a good or bad thing, but he’d make sure to tell Nagisa about it as soon as his husband returned.

When the father-son duo came to the entrance of the day-care, Naoki toting his schoolbag with a distressed expression, Karma braced himself. Kneeling down and facing the toddler, he tried to put on his most comforting smile.

“Alright, bud, I’ve gotta go. It’ll only be a few hours, okay?”

Sure enough, tears began streaming down the boy’s flushing face, and he opened his mouth wide to wail as he dove forward to grasp his father’s shirt. Karma pulled them off to the side, away from the entrance so other families could pass, and hugged Naoki tightly.

“Come on, Naoki, I’ve really gotta go. You knew this was going to happen; you’ve done it before. I know you can do it. Ishiyo-sensei can call me to come get you right away if something goes wrong. My office isn’t that far away.” It was true; Naoki’s teacher had all the parents’ numbers. Karma hoped his assurances would calm the boy, but he only seemed to sob harder.

“Don’ wanna go! No! Daddy!” Naoki wailed into his shirt, and Karma grimaced thinking of the stains. He had to go to work straight after this...

Suddenly noticing a familiar car approaching, he decided to try a new tactic. Anything to get his son off of him and inside the day-care as fast as possible.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay—look, there’s Tetsuya and his mom coming up. Don’t you wanna be with your friend, Naoki? He’ll be with you; you won’t be alone. Here, let’s clean you up a little...” Karma murmured while separating himself from Naoki slightly to wipe his face with his blazer’s sleeve. Thankfully, Naoki’s sobs began dying down until they were only sniffles, and Karma rejoiced as he saw the mother appear at the door with her son.

“Good morning, Akabane-san! Is everything okay?” Tetsuya’s mother appeared to be in her twenties, same as Karma and Nagisa, and had white-blonde hair, same as her son. Though he didn’t know much about her, Karma had made a good impression so far, and threw her a charismatic smile.

“Morning, Maeda-san! We’re okay. Naoki here is just a little nervous about me leaving. I’m sure he’s glad now that he has a friend to be with, though?” He looked to Naoki as he asked this, and the sniffling toddler’s eyes dipped to the ground.

“I’ll take care of him.” The proclamation sounded so assured and responsible, Karma could barely believe it came out of a kindergartener’s mouth. Yet, the blond kid pointed his dark eyes to Karma and held his hand out, palm up, towards Naoki, as if asking permission to have the boy for the day. It seemed a bit surreal to him, but Karma kept his good-natured smile and nodded. Naoki reached out to take the hand.

“Thank you; I appreciate it. Glad to know my son is in good hands when he’s here.”

Tetsuya nodded back, as if he were a soldier receiving orders, and Naoki glared at the ground, his face reddening again. “...M’not a baby...”

“Well then, stop crying like one!” Karma bent down to ruffle his son’s hair teasingly, eliciting a yelp. The action seemed to raise everyone’s spirits, and Karma bid Naoki a final goodbye. “I’ll come to pick you up in the afternoon, promise. Have fun.”

“Mmhmm.” Naoki mumbled, hurriedly wiping a stray tear away before jolting forwards to give Karma a small farewell kiss. “Bye...”

With one last pat on the shoulder, Karma grinned and walked away with Tetsuya’s mother following. Looking back at the blond boy pull Naoki into the day-care, Karma let out a relieved breath. That took much less time than usual.

“Thanks, really. His emotions run wild a lot, especially when we have to leave him. Having a friend there to comfort him really lets a load off my shoulders.” He smiled at Maeda gratefully, and the woman nodded back kindly.

“I’m glad we could be of help! Tetsuya loves to take care of his friends; I swear, that boy is like a little mother hen sometimes! He just feels comfortable in a leadership role, I suppose. I’m sure little Naoki will come out of his shell in time, too.”

Karma nodded amicably at the hopeful words, and bid her goodbye with a wave as he got back in the car. Truthfully, he felt rather uneasy. If what she’d said about Tetsuya was true, perhaps the boy was only so kind to Naoki because he felt pity for him, and Naoki had formed a crush on him based on that alone. Even if that was the case, though, he knew there was nothing he could do about it.

Unfortunately, the rest of Karma’s day passed by miserably; he’d been swamped with work, and hadn’t had adequate time to finish it all or meet with all the people he was supposed to. Sacrifices had to be made for family, he figured. Coming to his offices late and then leaving early wouldn’t be a good habit to make, though. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough money to already make up for it, but he didn’t want to continue the trend nevertheless.

When he picked Naoki up from the day-care, the boy seemed back to his subdued but happy self, and greeted his father with an exuberant hug. All the way home, Naoki chatted excitedly about how they were going to greet Nagisa home once he returned, and Karma listened on with a smile. This reminded him of Nagisa’s still-unknown return date, and sure enough, the letter was found resting before his front door that night. It was only a blank piece of paper with a date and time in the center, depicting next Saturday night between 11 PM and 1 AM.

Four days—much to Karma’s relief, it was less than five, just as he’d predicted to Naoki. He told his boy the news, and Naoki immediately yelped in elation, rattling off more plans for once his Papa was home. Karma accepted them all graciously, meanwhile thinking of his own ways to welcome his husband home Saturday night.

The next three days proceeded with ease—especially now that Karma had discovered the trick of having Tetsuya comfort Naoki as he dropped him off—and before long, Karma was putting Naoki to bed Saturday night, promising his son that his Papa would be there to wake him in the morning. As always, the toddler insisted excitedly on staying up late to greet Nagisa as soon as he walked through the front door, but during the third storybook he promptly passed out. Karma, back aching as he stood, gave him a last kiss on the forehead and left the bedroom door open a crack, drifting to the living room to wait out the rest of the night there.

Watching T.V. served little purpose, seeing as he couldn’t even focus on the program, but at least it gave him something to do for the next few hours. He’d been through the process so many times by now, his nerves barely shook anymore. By the time the clock hit 11:00 he’d stretched himself out to lay on the couch rather than sit, feeling the pull of sleep slightly tug at his eyelids.

Once the clock hit 12:00, he took a deep breath and turned off the T.V. to break out a bottle of Merlot, not quite uncomfortable yet.

At 1:00, the wine bottle sat still untouched on the table, and Karma felt his hands shaking slightly, though he clenched them and closed his eyes.

_It’s alright, they can’t get the time exactly right every time, it’s alright, he’ll come..._

Sometime between four and five in the morning, Karma passed out on the couch without even realizing he’d been falling asleep.

 

 

“Daddy... Daddy...! Tha phone’s ringing... Daddy...”

Blearily, Karma opened his eyes, and it took him longer than usual to grow accustomed to sight. His head hurt like a motherfucker, his mouth felt like it was filled with sand, and his muscles ached as they were jostled by the small form in front of him. Sitting up slowly, he batted the hands away.

“Guh... What...” he mumbled into his palms, rubbing his mouth and face while trying to will the headache away. Tiny fingers gripped onto the bottom of his shirt, and he turned his attention to the edge of the couch. Naoki stood there in his pajamas, looking up at him imploringly.

“...What time is it?” His voice sounded gravelly and hellish, and he grimaced as the same loud, obnoxious noise pierced his eardrums.

“Um...” The sleepy boy turned to observe the digital clock below the T.V. and hesitantly reported, “...six-oh... oh-someting... The phone waked me up! It’s ringing lots, daddy, are you gonna get it?”

Oh, so that was why his head hurt so much.

He stood with a groan, his legs quaking with the sudden movement, as he tried to collect his thoughts. It was a Sunday morning— _early_ Sunday morning—so he didn’t have to take Naoki anywhere... He woke up on the couch, and not in his bedroom...

His stomach jumped.

_Nagisa didn’t come home the phone is ringing Nagisa didn’t come home the phone is ringing Nagisa_

Almost throwing himself towards the receiver, he picked up the phone and pressed it to his ear forcefully.

“H-Hello, Akabane residence—“

Naoki could only stare at his father fearfully as his expression changed. First it turned completely blank and lifeless, with vacant eyes, and then appeared the darkest expression Naoki had ever witnessed on his father’s face. It was a look that screamed danger, and he knew at once that his father was extremely angry, so he backed away to hide behind the couch. He didn’t know how many minutes passed as he crouched there, observing his father from his safe spot.

“Yes. Thank you. Yes.”

Karma’s tone was like ice, and it pushed a whimpering gasp out of Naoki. He didn’t like it.

When his father hung up the phone—it seemed like he’d been on it for hours, when in reality it was probably only a minute or two—Naoki was too scared to make a sound. However, when Karma moved towards him, he didn’t move away in fear of upsetting him further. Karma picked him up as if on autopilot—his hold wasn’t as gentle as it usually felt, but the man still made sure not to make his son uncomfortable. Naoki expected to be taken deeper into the house, but instead Karma grabbed the keys and carried him out the door.

Naoki was confused, considering he was still in his onesie and Karma was in his clothes from the day before. Not to mention it was six in the morning, and he was still sleepy—and Karma looked even worse.

_Daddy, where are we going? I’m tired and confused. Why did you get so angry? Why do we have to go somewhere? Are you mad at me? Where’s Papa?_

Even though he had so many things he wanted to say to his father, the words simply refused to exit his mouth, and the car ride was spent in silence. Eventually, Naoki fell asleep in the backseat, and stayed soundly slumbering as Karma carried him out of the car at their destination.

 

 

_Everything around him was dark, but despite that, Nagisa could still see. His eyes had been practically trained over his years of experience, always constantly searching for the slightest movement or disturbance even in pitch blackness. This time was no different, and his hand twitched instinctively into position at his hip when he heard the leaves crinkling outside._

_The body was already dead; he’d checked. A clean slice directly below the larynx is what he’d inflicted. He’d immediately known the target wouldn’t survive, but also knew from the past that cockiness could only result in failure, and used his extra minute to ensure the death would be imminent. It wasn’t as if he had to leave immediately, anyway; he was covered._

_At least, that’s what he’d been told._

_Now, he was approximately four rooms away from the body. The mansion was tricky to navigate, but like any other, there were distinctive reference points in every hallway and room that Nagisa could commit to memory instantaneously. When it was life and death, it was surprisingly easy to remember the important things._

_Everything came naturally and was proceeding perfectly; he’d make it out in no time, he thought. Until a piercing scream resounded from behind him, sending him into an adrenaline rush._

_This wasn’t supposed to happen._

_He moved faster, still swift and cautious, but even wearier of sentries. Someone found the body—that much was clear. Someone found the body when that wasn’t supposed to happen; Nagisa should’ve been covered. He’d been working with Kei and some other bastard from the company—Fujisawa. Did one of them get in trouble, mess things up? They were skilled, so it seemed unlikely, but Nagisa knew anything could happen._

_All he could do now was make sure no one spotted him and try to find the other two members of his team. He didn’t want to needlessly take any other lives._

_His breathing slow and silent, Nagisa made his way through two other rooms concealed until it happened. A crash near him—someone was making their way clumsily and violently through the house, to this room. Someone bigger than him, Nagisa judged from the vibrations, and he concealed himself further. He wasn’t worried, knowing he wouldn’t have to pull any fast stops on this; he’d found Kei._

_Just as he expected, Kei took care of the form before it could cause any more of an uproar and alert others to their positions. Kei threw him a proud smile, and Nagisa felt like raising an eyebrow at his friend’s childishness, but kept his face neutral. No point in trying to communicate further; Nagisa already knew by looking at Kei that he hadn’t been the cause of the slip up earlier. It must’ve been Fujisawa..._

_Pondering this and planning on making his next move, Nagisa slithered around the body—_

_And his leg was caught in a vice grip._

_What followed was a struggle unlike one he’d faced in years—he was flipped and kicked out, further injuring the form which he’d thought had been unconscious. His vision suddenly became impaired, and a sharp pain seared the back of his head. Whatever it was, he paid it no mind and lashed out quietly—no screams came from him, but the man caught in the assault screamed loud. The same scream he’d heard earlier, he thought, which immediately sent him into a state of confusion. How did this person get here so quickly when they were once rooms behind him?_

_At once, Nagisa was taken advantage of. Anyone else would’ve chastised themselves for the mistake and lapse in judgement, but Nagisa simply moved on and followed his instincts. Stay alive, keep fighting, outwit them._

_The man screamed again, and Nagisa felt grim that he was going to take a life unnecessarily, but there was nothing more that could be done._

_As soon as he thought that—as soon as he plunged the weapon—a sudden pressure hit his lower half and spread to the rest of his body. He didn’t think anymore as his brain flickered on and off, and he found himself lowering to the carpet, barely recognizing the cracking, sickening sound piercing the air._

_“...I will... revenge... bastards...! Fuck... don’t...”_

_An unfamiliar voice was yelling, the only sound able to permeate the dark velvet sheets which seemed to encase his consciousness one by one. With each, the film around his mind grew murkier and murkier, until he could identify nothing._

 

A concussion and two clean breaks, one in each leg. That’s what the doctor had told him, and Karma thanked her with as much graciousness as he could muster—which was none.

He’d also apparently been poisoned, but it’d been extremely weak and had filtered out of his system within ten minutes of its entry. The concussion was major, though, and they were lucky Nagisa wasn’t in a coma. Karma didn’t understand how things like this could happen, but then he realized—of course he understood.

The anger seeping through his veins immediately directed itself at Nagisa’s boss, the other assassins who worked with him—the fucker who did this to him, whoever they were. Karma would get them, he thought, get them and break their legs as well, then break every bone in their body for good measure. Anyone who looked at him could easily spot the murderous intent, so the nurses decided to steer clear of the room for the morning unless they were absolutely needed.

Naoki had been asleep since they arrived at the hospital, and hadn’t woken since, something that Karma was extremely thankful for. He wasn’t thinking when he’d brought his son here; of course, it wasn’t as if he could leave the child home alone, but... He didn’t want to think of what Naoki might do—how he might react—when he would see his father like this, with such a pale face and purple-edged eyes, with his legs held up in massive casts and an IV through his wrist...

Karma didn’t cry. His fury burned too strong for that, and he didn’t want to entertain the question of _‘What if Nagisa had died?’_ All he wanted, at this point—at three hours since he’d arrived—was for Nagisa to wake up, look at him, and tell him exactly what happened.

The doctor told him that Nagisa had been admitted at 10 PM last night; when told the name of the man who’d admitted him, Karma immediately recognized him as a henchman of Nagisa’s boss, therefore still one of Nagisa’s superiors. Apparently, the man had provided the story that he was Nagisa’s contractor, and Nagisa was a roof mechanic who’d had an accident on the job. Karma knew, at least, _some_ minor parts of the story were probably correct, such as Nagisa having an accident ‘on the job.’ But this was evidently the most convenient cover. It correlated with his injuries, and the poison that had shortly rampaged Nagisa’s body was apparently found—in small doses—within some construction materials.

Karma was obviously listed as family in Nagisa’s records, which was why he’d been contacted; they’d apparently been endeavoring to contact him since five in the morning. Karma had no choice but to go along with the cover story and wait for Nagisa to wake up, as the nurse had said he could awaken any moment. All Karma wanted was answers.

If an ‘employee’ was injured on the job—enough to require overnight stay in a hospital—then one person in their immediate family could be let known the circumstances of the injury. That was the rule in place, and Karma had never wanted it to be utilized throughout Nagisa’s career. Now, though, he knew he would be that one person. Any confidentiality rules would be thrown out the window in this context.

When the time began nearing 9:30, Karma sighed wearily, carefully adjusting Naoki’s slumbering form in his arms. He hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep; he’d already called out of work for the day, certain he wouldn’t make it. Tomorrow he might have to do the same thing, he figured—maybe he would even take the whole week off. Whatever it took, with his family in this state. Naoki was a warm weight in his arms, and the sensation made him even drowsier, but he fought off the urge to sleep. He couldn’t—not until Nagisa woke up.

Ten more minutes passed like this, until Nagisa’s eyes finally opened. It was slow, so slow that Karma almost wanted to rip open those eyelids himself. Perhaps his anger mixed with his exhaustion didn’t create a healthy mental state.

The first thing Nagisa did when his eyes fully opened was hum to himself, his voice very low and wheezy, as he gradually scanned the room, taking in his situation. Karma reached out a hand to encase Nagisa’s limp, colder one, and the injured assassin’s eyes turned to him.

“Karma...” he whispered through cracked lips, and Karma already felt the fiery ripples of his anger lessen into a cool wave.

“...Nagisa... Fuck...” His own voice cracked as well, and he dipped his head, suddenly overwrought with emotions. He felt Nagisa’s hand grip his own tighter and couldn’t help but smile, lifting his head to let their eyes meet again.

“Sorry... I didn’t come home on time... You must’ve been a wreck...” Nagisa’s lips curled into an amused smirk, and Karma felt closer to crying than he had in the past ten hours.

“Fuck... Nagisa, don’t say sorry... I...”

_If you’d have died, I..._

They didn’t say any more, not until Nagisa could get a glass of water for his throat and have his vitals checked one more time. When they were alone again, and in a better condition to talk—the door closed for privacy—Nagisa spoke first. He was sitting up on the hospital bed, his eyes—they’d lost some of their purple-hued edges already—trained on Naoki.

“...Is he alright? He’s asleep...”

“Yeah, he’s been asleep for hours now—passed out on the car ride here... I feel a little bad; he doesn’t even know what’s going on. I didn’t tell him. I was too... on edge, I guess. We woke up at six, anyway, so he was still sleepy. When he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” Karma’s lips upturned at his last sentence.

Nagisa’s own lips had been pursed at most of the explanation, but his expression turned soft near the end. “...You don’t look too good, either. You’re exhausted, Karma.”

“Shut up—here you are, critically injured, telling me that _I_ need rest...” Karma clenched his hand tighter, and Nagisa laughed slightly, cringing when he did. His husband immediately caught this. “See? _You’re_ the one who needs to take it easy. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine... My head just hurts when I move too much...” Nagisa’s thumb rubbed over Karma’s hand to calm him, and Karma nodded with a deep breath.

“Just... Will you tell me what happened? How did you... get hurt, like this?”

The blue eyes grew more focused towards an imaginary point, and Nagisa’s hand tightened. “...I will take a while—to remember everything clearly, but...”

Karma nodded, and eventually Nagisa turned back to him with assurance of having a clear explanation.

“I... I can’t give you the details of the mission. It doesn’t matter—I don’t want to put anyone in danger. I just... I killed them, and it was successful. It was during the decline—when I was making my exit—that things turned... unexpected. Someone found the body, and I swear, that room that the body was in—it was behind me, far behind me. I was already close to getting out of there. I don’t know who even let that guy so close—I was supposed to be covered, but one of my teammates messed up. He’s dead now. I remember being told in the moments I was finally conscious, right after I was brought here—he’s dead.”

He paused to take a breath, and Karma didn’t interrupt, though he was secretly glad that a man who’d been partially the cause for Nagisa’s suffering was now dead. Yes, that feeling wasn’t a healthy feeling to have, but Karma couldn’t fight it.

“...The man who found the body—I heard him from that room, but then five minutes later, he was right there with me. I have no idea how he could’ve possibly caught up with me. Kei-kun took him out before I had to do anything, and I thought we were clear, then... But, the man wasn’t out, really. We fought, and I think—I think he had the poison, the same we’d brought in. Well, it was on Kei-kun—I think he must’ve snatched it from Kei-kun at some point, I don’t know. We were both poisoned, though, apparently... But there was back-up. The man escaped—disappeared, they said. It-It was his home too, but he fled from it, maybe delirious...”

When there came a longer pause, Karma realized Nagisa considered the botched report over, and carefully responded, “...What about your legs, your head? How did that happen? Was it during your fight with him?”

“I...” Nagisa closed his eyes, seemingly trying to search his brain for memories. “...I don’t know if it was the poison or the concussion, but something was messing with my perception. I clearly felt the head injury, at least. They found out he’d used a cleaver—the flat end!” Nagisa hurried as soon as he noticed Karma’s widened eyes, “It was in the house, in the room, I think... And he also used the handle, after that... My head was messed up, pretty bad...”

“I can see that by your bandages,” Karma shot out, and Nagisa smiled grimly. The last thing he wanted was to focus on his injuries, but that seemed to be the most important thing to Karma.

“Don’t worry... I’ll be alright... As for my legs, I don’t remember any pain. Funny, because those are the most serious... Well, anyway, I don’t know what happened with those. All we can infer is that the man is very strong... Kei-kun doesn’t remember what happened to me either. The breaks are clean, though. Below my knee, which is a strange place for the breaks to be unless it was deliberate that they would be there... I wouldn’t think so, considering the man sounded out of his mind.”

Karma grimaced at the mention of his legs—he’d seen the x-rays—and took his free hand away from Nagisa’s to run it through his husband’s hair. “Did you... hear him say anything, then...?”

“Nothing I can remember, at all... I heard his voice, yes, but no distinct words. I’m sure he said something, but I had little cognitive abilities at that point, so I doubt I understood...”

Whoever this man was, Karma wanted him dead—Nagisa could see this in his eyes, and reached his hand to his hair, resting it over Karma’s. The fire in Karma’s eyes barely lessened.

“...Sounds like you’re still a little wonky... Maybe it’s the medication. You should rest more, Nagisa. You’ll be in this room for more than a few days, you know.”

“I know...” Nagisa’s eyes glinted, as if to remind his husband that he wasn’t completely helpless, no matter what. “Only if you rest, too. You need it, Karma. I’m sure they have more pillows in one of those closets over there—please, sleep.”

At the caring tone in his lover’s voice, Karma couldn’t deny him. Cradling Naoki as carefully as possible, making sure not to jostle him, Karma searched in the room’s cupboards for some pillows. He found some on his second try. Nagisa smiled at the sight of his husband and son, but by the time Karma turned around and came back to his seat, Nagisa eyes were already closed, resting.

Following suit, Karma adjusting himself and Naoki until he was sure they both would be comfortable in the seat, and tried to drift to sleep. It didn’t take long—within five minutes he was out, although his consciousness wavered. With such distressing events occurring, as well as having to sleep mostly upright, his body forbid him from sleeping too deeply.

Just after ten o’clock, Karma’s eyes fluttered, and he was pulled out of his light sleep by a squirming in his arms. He looked down to see Naoki wriggling about, frightful and confused.

“Papa...” The boy squeaked, staring at his father before him on the bed, and Karma saw Nagisa shift, presumably about to awaken. He turned Naoki towards him, cradling his face and sending him a loving smile.

“It’s okay, Naoki. Your Papa is gonna be okay, and he’s here.”

“P-Papa...! Papa!” Naoki repeated, trying to shift himself around to see Nagisa again, who was now looking over at the pair with sleep-bleary eyes.

“Mmn... Naoki...?” he mumbled, reaching his closest arm out. Like a puppy, Naoki squirmed faster, yearning to be within his injured father’s embrace.

Karma chuckled, raising Naoki so he could get closer to the bed. “I think this little rascal wants to see you...”

“Papa! I miss’t you, Papa!”

Nagisa giggled as well, taking in Naoki’s slightly teary but overjoyed expression. “I missed you too, baby... Let him over here, I can take him.”

“I don’t want him to aggravate your injuries—“ Karma immediately retorted, but stopped himself when he was met with Nagisa’s persistent glare.

“He’ll be okay—you won’t do anything reckless, will you Naoki?”

The boy still didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation—only overwhelmed that he could see his Papa again—and nodded quickly. Karma, as he lowered him next to Nagisa’s abdomen on the bed, warned him.

“Alright—don’t make any sudden movements, and don’t bump anything. Be careful. Your Papa could get hurt.”

Hearing this, Naoki slowly slid up once he was on the bed, until he reached Nagisa’s face. The father smiled wide and held him with his IV-free arm.

“I’m so happy to see you, sweetie,” Nagisa whispered as he kissed his son’s nose, and Naoki squealed happily, snuggling closer.

“Me too!”

Within five more minutes, both Karma and Nagisa fell back into a wavering sleep, although Naoki was now fully rested and wide-awake. He didn’t mind the silence, though. Simply resting with his Papa was more than enough to make him happy, even if he wasn’t allowed to move much.

That is, he was happy until his stomach began grumbling. Hunger hit the small boy like a train, and he silently whined, unsure of what to do. He hesitated before carefully turning himself over to face his seated, non-injured father.

“Daddy... Daddy, wake up-up,” he whispered, albeit loudly. Nagisa’s consciousness returned for a split second, but he kept his eyes closed when he realized his son was trying his best to not disturb him.

Karma was also easily awoken, and yawned widely before getting out of his seat. “Hm? You hungry?”

Naoki didn’t understand how his parents could immediately know such things without him telling them, but nodded gratefully as he was scooped up. Resting his mouth on his hand, he mumbled, “I wann’a grilled cheese...”

“Well, let’s see if the hospital cafeteria has some...” Karma mused, winking to Nagisa as he left the room, seeing as the assassin now had one eye open. Once they left, Nagisa quickly succumbed to a deeper sleep.

To Naoki’s relief, the cafeteria did have grilled cheeses, and it was only once the toddler was halfway finished with his meal that he began asking questions. Where they even were, why Papa was in a hospital bed with bandages all around him, why Papa couldn’t come home like Karma had promised—Karma tried to answer everything to his best abilities while still hiding Nagisa’s true career. That would only raise more questions, and he didn’t want to expose his son to that information without Nagisa’s input first.

Thankfully, Naoki seemed to take it well. He was distressed when he realized Nagisa wouldn’t be home for at least another week, but the joy of seeing his Papa again overrode his worry. In the best case scenario, Nagisa would make enough progress in his recovery to be discharged once a week passed. Of course, he would still need someone overseeing his recovery at home for at least the next month or two. The doctor predicted that his injuries would take four or five months to completely heal, which staggered Karma. He knew now that he would have to take a longer leave, and probably enlist the help of a friend or two. Nagisa wouldn’t want to trouble anyone, but it was inevitable. At least one person in the family needed to continue bringing in money.

With all the facets of the situation continuing to weigh on Karma’s mind, he and Naoki returned home that afternoon, pledging to visit Nagisa every day until he would be discharged. When they entered the apartment, unsurprisingly, Naoki became extremely sullen and moped around gloomily for the rest of the day. Karma tried to raise his spirits, offering some of his favorite meals for dinner, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Tickling him worked for all of one minute, until Naoki suddenly became frustrated and teary-eyed at his father’s behavior, kicking him away and whining to be left alone.

The week continued in the same way, with Naoki downtrodden and Karma anxious. He allowed his son at least one day off that Monday, hoping it would cheer him up somehow. It didn’t do much good, and the boy’s fits grew more and more uproarious as the days passed, until Karma entertained taking Naoki out of day-care for the next week or so. When he spoke to Nagisa, though, his husband advised against it. Naoki wouldn’t be able to grow or learn if he was coddled so much.

Finally, after a week and a half of hell for Karma, Nagisa was announced able to return home with supervision. Karma extended his leave for a couple more days, hoping to give them enough time to contact a friend for help with Nagisa. Naoki was overjoyed at his father’s return home, his mood suddenly switching from zero to one-hundred. Nagisa made him promise to behave better when going to day-care each day, and the boy pledged without a second thought, much to Karma’s disbelief.

Nagisa was disheartened at how much assistance he would need just to carry out everyday tasks; he needed to keep using the wheelchair for at least another three weeks. Karma was there for anything he had trouble with—bathing, cooking dinner, getting in and out of bed... Naoki was also eager to help at any opportunity, but his exuberance proved to be more of a hindrance than an aid. Nevertheless, Nagisa thanked and praised the toddler whenever he fetched something for him. The assassin still found himself feeling less dignified, but his family gave him strength—within three weeks, he was out of a wheelchair and into crutches.

 

 

Waving with a thankful smile, Karma saw Akari out the door. Their old friend had been their primary help over the last month; she didn’t have anything major going on in her life at the moment, and was always free to spend time with Nagisa and Naoki when Karma had to work. With the current rate of Nagisa’s recovery, they wouldn’t need her help for much longer, but it was much appreciated. She seemed to enjoy it as well, especially since she could spend time with ‘her favorite nephew,’ as she called Naoki.

Said ‘favorite nephew’ had just been put to sleep, and Karma sighed to himself as he returned to Nagisa’s side on the couch. The day had been tiring for both of them. Karma and Akari had teamed up to give Naoki a bath, which ended up being an hour-long struggle. Meanwhile, Nagisa still occasionally had to take pain medication for his legs, and seeing him now, Karma could easily notice how drowsy he was.

“Want to head to bed early? I feel like relaxing,” Karma casually offered, putting his arm around the smaller man. Nagisa felt slightly embarrassed at the offer—Karma must’ve lied about the last part for his own benefit—but nodded.

Once they arrived at the bedroom, Karma disrobed first and carefully helped Nagisa onto their bed before assisting him in undressing as well. When he began to try and help Nagisa into his nightclothes, though, the injured assassin stopped his hand. A certain idea had suddenly popped into his head.

“You... You’re always taking care of me, now... Why won’t you let me take care of you?”

Karma understood what he was referring to and paused. It was true. Only once had they been sexual since Nagisa’s injury—a far cry from their usual pace. Looking into Nagisa’s pleading and questioning eyes, Karma realized how he might’ve taken this.

“I... You don’t need to do anything, though, Nagisa. I’m alright. And it’s not _because_ of your injuries, it’s just...”

Nagisa didn’t want to let him finish and began pushing him down until he was flat on the bed. He eyed his husband’s flaccid length with trepidation—he needed to change that.

“Well then, I’ll make you ‘not alright.’ And then I’ll take care of you,” he whispered, climbing onto Karma’s body leisurely. He didn’t need his legs to do this, thankfully, although the casts moved clumsily under the sheets.

The look in Nagisa’s eyes was devious, similar to the gaze Karma could identify as bloodlust, and he felt sweat drip down his neck as he was cornered. There was no use fighting, he knew, especially when he noticed the familiar pulse of blood shoot through his body and down to his groin.

How only a glance could do this to him... could make him surrender...

All he could do was bare his teeth and hiss as Nagisa made the first mark against his neck, sucking desperately on the skin. It was released with a pop, and the sly assassin continued until most of Karma’s neck and parts of his collarbone were covered with saliva and teeth marks. Karma growled when the sensations became too much, digging his hand through Nagisa’s hair to pull him up and crash their lips together.

After their impromptu hiatus from sex, both men couldn’t hold themselves back and tongued each other ravenously, though Nagisa always made sure that he stayed on top. He wasn’t letting his husband get away. Eventually, he was the one who tore their mouths apart with a smacking noise, giving Karma one final nibble on the side of his chin before maneuvering himself down his lover’s body. Karma’s erection brushed hard against his skin with every movement, and both of them groaned under their breath.

Before long, Nagisa encircled the base of his partner’s length with his hand and gave it a quick lick, even as Karma gasped in hesitation.

“W-Wait... Nagisa, you don’t have to... Shit...”

He knew Karma would probably be fearful of hurting him—he was still recovering, after all—but he didn’t stop as he engulfed the first half of the prick into his mouth. He wouldn’t be hurt; he needed this, and so did Karma.

Within a minute or two, Karma quit complaining and resisting—his moans overrode that. Nagisa’s senses were soon overwrought with the sounds, the feeling, the taste—his own hardness bumped against Karma’s leg every once in a while, and he flinched. He needed more.

Releasing the length from his mouth, Nagisa breathed heavily as he pulled himself up again to meet his lover’s eyes.

“I... want to make love with you, we haven’t... in so long...”

Karma clenched his teeth at the whispers, since they only sent another throb to his groin. It had been a long time since they’d done that—long before Nagisa’s injury.

“Fuck... Yeah, Nagisa...” Within a few moments of Karma’s stuttered affirmation, Nagisa gripped his husband’s shoulders tight as he raised his hips up. Karma was pressed against the entrance suddenly, and although everything was happening so fast, he held Nagisa’s waist to ground him.

“H-Hold on—“ hastily, he whispered, realizing Nagisa hadn’t prepared himself in the slightest. When he’d said yes, he didn’t realize that they would get to it so soon. Regardless, Nagisa was plunging himself down on the length, making it halfway down with a sharp, piercing groan.

“Sh-Shut _up...!_ I n-need this... _Fuck..._ ” Nagisa moaned loudly in pain and pleasure both, Karma matching him with a groan. The heat—Nagisa was so _tight_ , his walls clenching around him, even as he moved up again to get ready to take more—

A knock resounded on the door—two small knocks, in succession. It wasn’t much, but Karma instantly heard it. He lurched up instinctively to hold Nagisa and cover his naked form. Nagisa grunted in pain, but relented—just in time, as Naoki’s worried, large eyes peered around the edge of the door.

“P-Papa...”

_Shit..._

Nagisa seemed to be in a daze—whether it was from the shock of their son’s sudden appearance or simply due to the intense feeling of his husband’s cock still inside him, Karma didn’t know—so Karma was forced to carefully and quickly detach himself, simultaneously crawling over to the side of the bed. Nagisa flinched and gasped audibly at the feeling, but came to his senses somewhat—at least, enough to pull the covers further against himself.

“N-Naoki... Are you okay...?” Karma asked shakily as he rapidly searched for his boxers, finding them on the floor and putting them on before rushing to the toddler. Naoki was still staring at him with wide eyes and a quivering lip.

Karma had to lean in closer to hear, “Y-Yeah... P-Papa sounded-ed like he was hurt... S-Scared me—Papa’s okay?”

His heart broke as he bent to pick up the boy, holding him close and carding his hand through the dark hair comfortingly. “...Y-Yeah, he’s alright, bud... Did Papa wake you up? I’m so sorry...” At a loss, he sat back down on the bed with Naoki in his arms.

Nagisa had always been the one who was more worried about this sort of thing happening—about their son walking in on them and being scarred for the rest of his life—so the fact that he was still silent unnerved Karma.

“N-No... I had a... n-nightmare...” Naoki sniffled, breaking down and letting a few tears run as he gripped his father tighter. For a few more seconds, Karma sat rocking the toddler habitually, until he eventually turned his head to glance at Nagisa. The previously horny assassin seemed to have snapped out of it, and was laying with a dazed but brooding expression. Once he met Karma’s eyes, though, he sat up slightly and reached out his arms.

He didn’t know how Nagisa would help—he was still naked, Karma noted—but he certainly had no solutions himself, so he gently transferred Naoki to the other parent’s arms. Instead of cradling the boy close, though, Nagisa laid him down on the bed between the couple, moving his own pillow to the left so it could cushion his son’s head as well.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, sweetie... Do you want to sleep here tonight...?” Nagisa’s voice was still scratchy from his earlier exertion, but his eyes looked completely remorseful. Karma felt like objecting for a split second, but didn’t want to chance making things worse than they already were. Instead, he slowly settled himself back on the other side of Naoki, nervously awaiting the boy’s response.

_Please don’t ask about what we were just doing..._

Eventually, Naoki nodded, and Nagisa smiled comfortingly at him. “Do you wanna talk about your nightmare?”

This time, Naoki shook his head, mumbling into his hand which he’d raised up to his mouth. “...was scary...”

Nagisa scooted nearer and tucked Naoki tighter under the blankets, still mindful of his nakedness and making sure not to get too close. Carefully, he took the small hand away from the toddler’s mouth, enclosing it in his larger one. “It’s okay now, baby... Daddy and I are with you. Just go to sleep. Have a nice dream, now...” He kissed Naoki’s forehead, and Naoki closed his eyes, seeming to calm down.

“...Night...” The couple heard the small form mumble as it huddled closer to the pillow, and both of them repeated the same before the room became silent.

As he lay there, staring at the ceiling and occasionally glancing Naoki’s way to make sure the boy was resting peacefully, Karma could only wonder.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Granted, it didn’t seem that they’d scarred their child for life or anything. He must’ve not seen much, Karma thought; he didn’t appear to understand that his parents were doing anything strange. As far as Karma knew, Naoki had no idea what sex was, or that it even existed.

Still, Nagisa’s behavior had him on edge, and he yearned to talk to his lover. Unfortunately, once he gathered his bearings enough to attempt a hushed conversation with his husband, he found both Nagisa and Naoki deep in a serene slumber. The image managed to still his nerves, and he willed himself follow suit, turning on his side to face his family as he closed his eyes.

 

 

When Karma opened his eyes again, he was alone in the bed, much to his disappointment. He rubbed his eyes before getting up, and reached for his robe. No matter how much he yearned to fall back asleep, remembering the events of last night, he knew he and Nagisa needed to talk. He was eternally thankful it was a Sunday.

Walking out into the living room, he found Naoki watching his favorite morning show while clumsily eating his sunny-side-up eggs. At first, the toddler appeared too enraptured in his program to notice Karma’s entrance, so Karma was surprised when he chirped out without looking away from the screen.

“Mornin’ Daddy!”

“...Ah, morning, squirt,” he muttered, ruffling Naoki’s nest of shadowy hair as he shuffled past the kid. Nagisa, hearing his son’s outburst, glanced over from his spot in the kitchen, concurrently turning the stove off.

“Good morning, Karma...” Nagisa greeted, handing his husband a cup of coffee, which Karma took with a nod. Quickly peeping at Naoki to make sure he was fully occupied with the television, Karma got straight to business.

“...You wanna talk? Come on.”

They sat down at the table, only a few feet away from where Naoki ate, but far enough away that they were certain the boy wouldn’t hear them over his show. Taking a sip of his own coffee, Nagisa started before Karma was able to—he knew the man would undoubtedly overreact about last night. Karma tended to throw things out of proportion when they concerned him or Naoki.

“Sorry about last night. I got out of hand; I know I did... Naoki didn’t see anything, though. I asked him this morning, and he didn’t notice anything strange. He thought we were just kissing, or something... He didn’t think we were... doing anything unusual. We just... need to be more careful. I won’t pull anything like that anymore, even if...” Nagisa suddenly procured a devious glare and sipped his drink before smirking at Karma. “...the feeling of having you surrender to me was divine.”

Hearing all of this sent waves of relief and lust through Karma. He clenched his fist, keeping his eyes hard. “Surrender to you? I don’t quite agree with that assessment of the situation...” Nagisa simply continued smirking, and Karma huffed. “Alright, alright. Just don’t go so far next time you try to do that. It worried me. You could’ve... hurt yourself.”

At that, Nagisa lost his smirk and glowered. “...I would’ve been fine, Karma. This is exactly what I was talking about—you need to stop taking care of me so much. Sometimes, it seems like you underestimate my strength.”

“ _Excuse me_ for caring about you! Do you need me to give you a lesson in how to have sex properly?! You were out of control, Nagisa—and I _know_ how strong you are, what you’re capable of— _remember..._ ” Suddenly, he realized the increased volume of his voice, and fought to control himself. “I... You _know_ I wouldn’t underestimate you. That’s not what this is about, at all...”

Though Karma’s anger was close to getting the best of him, Nagisa saw the point of his argument and lost his glare. “...Alright. I-I know, Karma. Sorry, I just... got ahead of myself.”

Calming down, Karma let them sit in silence for a few seconds before continuing, “Okay. I understand where you were coming from too. But, I do... I do worry about Naoki. What if we’re influencing him?”

Looking thoughtful at the new topic, Nagisa rested his cheek on his hand. “...I think... Well, I won’t deny that I worry about that... But, if we try to do something about it, we’ll only succeed in influencing him further than we may already have. There’s really nothing we can do but explain things to him when he asks. He hasn’t said anything unusual about... us before, has he?”

At once, Karma remembered the conversation he’d had with Naoki in the car. With all the stress piling on during the last two months, he’d completely forgotten to inform Nagisa about it.

“Well, he has said something strange. Sort of. When I was driving him to kindergarten... While you were on your mission. He told me that... he wanted to marry his friend. That Maeda kid.”

Nagisa’s eyes widened at the information, though Karma hastily continued.

“He-He didn’t seem to understand how serious that was when I tried to explain it to him, though. I don’t know if he has a crush on his friend or not—or if he likes girls, or boys, or both, or whatever... I thought he was only saying it to annoy me, but I can’t help but feel like... he might be confused about it. And fuck, if that’s our fault...” He trailed off, his temper making a comeback, and Nagisa reached out to take his hand.

“Karma, it’s probably not like that... He’s only four years old, so it’s not expected for him to know anything about crushes, or _anything_... It’s normal for him to make silly declarations like that. Don’t think too much about it, okay? If he’s still confused or saying things like that when he’s older, then yeah, we’ll talk to him about it. But for now, I think he’ll be okay just discovering things for himself, making more friends...” Nagisa drifted off, but he didn’t need to say any more. Karma nodded.

“Okay... If you say so. I just didn’t know how to handle it, I guess...”

Truthfully, Karma still felt a little weary about the situation, but Nagisa seemed to know what was best. In the end, Karma didn’t enjoy dealing with these types of things; love was confusing enough for him as a kid, so having to talk to his _own_ kid about it... It sent uncomfortable shudders down his spine.

Searching for a distraction, Karma suddenly smirked at Nagisa with a glint in his sharp eyes. “Well, now that we’ve settled that... We still haven’t settled last night, in my opinion. Still think you can make me _surrender?_ We were interrupted pretty early, I remember...” He leaned closer to entice his husband, but Nagisa only leaned back, a slight smile edging at his mouth.

“Idiot—didn’t you learn from last night? You were the one lecturing me just now... At least wait until we’re sure Naoki is asleep—it’s broad daylight! I’m _not_ going through that again.” He stood up, gently smacking the side of Karma’s head before making his way back to the kitchen to clean up.

“Fine, then we’re settling it tonight—either way, I want a _rematch._ Be _prepared._ ” Karma called back with a grin. Nagisa didn’t turn his head, but Karma was certain he was smirking as well.

 

 

To Karma’s frustration, the rematch he was hoping for would have to wait even longer. That night, they were once again interrupted by the same scenario—Naoki knocking on the door, claiming he’d suffered another nightmare. This time, Nagisa was still partially clothed and ready to respond, cradling his son close and shushing his tears away. Karma was perplexed yet again, but couldn’t do anything about it and underwent another night of sexless sleep.

Then, the exact same incident happened the next night. And the next. And the next. And the next.

It continued to happen until Karma was certain he and Nagisa wouldn’t be able to get any action—or much sleep, for that matter—for the entire duration of Nagisa’s recovery. They’d already passed the three-month mark, and all three members of the family were falling behind on sleep due to Naoki’s new penchant for waking up in the middle of the night teary-eyed. The poor toddler began to acquire dark circles under his eyes, noticeable even to his pre-school teacher. Both parents knew something had to be done.

This is what led to Nagisa’s worried pondering as he was reading Naoki to sleep on a relaxed Friday night—not relaxed for long, he knew. He and Karma had given up on trying anything racy during the night hours, and Nagisa wondered if he should simply invite Naoki into their bed straight away instead of tucking him into his own. The process seemed like a laughable farce, at this point.

“Naoki...” He couldn’t help himself, and spoke up just as the boy was appearing to drift to sleep. Grumbling quietly, Naoki blinked his eyes open again and turned to look at his pensive father.

With a sigh, Nagisa took his son’s hand. “These nightmares... You’ve been having them constantly. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about them? If it’s this serious, you need to tell me, sweetie.” His voice was as gentle as possible, but he looked directly into Naoki’s dark eyes as he spoke.

The boy blinked again, looking away. Scared, Nagisa noticed. “...No. I-It’s okay, Papa...”

Nagisa spoke carefully and slowly. “...Naoki, you’re not having nightmares, are you?” It wasn’t a question.

Naoki only continued looking away, gripping his sheets tightly, and Nagisa felt pity overwhelming him. He leaned closer from his seat, rubbing his thumb over his son’s hand.

“It’s alright, sweetie, I won’t be mad, promise. Just be honest with me. Are you having nightmares?”

This time, it was a question. After a few seconds, Naoki slowly shook his head and turned his eyes back to Nagisa, tears budding in them.

“...Why did you lie to us, darling? You can tell me. I’m not mad, I’m just worried about why you would do such a thing.” While speaking, Nagisa opened his arms knowingly, and Naoki soon dove into them, his tears flowing.

“I-I jus’... I missed Papa, when you were... away, and...” He hiccupped around his words as he cried into Nagisa’s neck. The assassin listened with a concerned frown, rubbing the child’s back soothingly. “I... wanna be with Daddy and Papa... M’scared at night, when Papa’s not there... L-Like Papa gonna be gone... already g-gone, and Naoki is... ‘lone... can’t sleep...”

Naoki continued sobbing into his father, and Nagisa shushed, pressing kisses to his temple. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry... You’re not alone. I’m right here. You didn’t need to lie, honey; you can still sleep with us if it makes you feel better. Come on, you don’t need to stay here...”

At once, Nagisa carried Naoki and slowly tried to stand. It was true that he still needed to use his crutches—if his physical therapist saw him doing this, she would probably faint—but he was confident enough at the moment to try and transport Naoki without them. After all, he couldn’t carry his son and use the crutches simultaneously. One of his legs was healing faster than the other, anyway; he could always lean on that one more, if he needed to.

He didn’t need to struggle to walk for much longer; once he exited the bedroom, Karma was soon at his side, shocked.

“Nagisa! What are you doing?! You—you can’t walk like that—“ He scolded, quickly taking Naoki and retrieving his husband’s crutches from the boy’s bedroom. “What were you thinking?!”

As he maneuvered his crutches under his arms, Nagisa sighed exasperatedly. “I’m fine, Karma. You don’t need to overreact. I was just bringing Naoki to our room—he’s sleeping with us, indefinitely. Just—take him to our room.”

Karma had many arguments that he could press further, but from Nagisa’s face, he knew it wasn’t the time. Instead, he acquiesced and took Naoki into their room, Nagisa following.

Once the boy was adequately tucked into the middle of the large bed, Karma looked to his husband for an explanation—Naoki’s face was damp and turned away, so he obviously wasn’t ready to speak. Nagisa sighed, seeing no way out.

“He hasn’t really been having nightmares. He just... is scared in his room by himself, and can’t fall asleep without us. He just wants to be with us, Karma. For now, we should just let him sleep here.”

An apology was clearly seen in Nagisa’s eyes, and Karma nodded tersely before looking back to his son. Naoki was now turned towards them, a fearful look in his eyes.

“Daddy, please don’ be m-mad...” he mumbled, his hand pressing to his mouth customarily. Karma, momentarily shocked, sat on the bed to take the hand away.

 _Am I really mad that often...?_ Admittedly, Karma realized he _had_ gotten increasingly frustrated over the past month; Naoki gave him many opportunities to be angry, with his unsolicited nightly visits. He grimaced.

“N-Naoki, I’m not mad, not at all...” He tried, but Naoki continued in a fumbling manner, as if Karma hadn’t said anything.

“I-It wasn’t a... f-full lie. T-The first time, I really d-did have a nightmare... M-Monster was o-outsides my window, g-gonna get me... I-It was th-the monster that hurted P-Papa... Wh-When I waked up, I wanna m-make sure Papa and Daddy are okay...” The tears returned to fall down Naoki’s cheeks, and both parents’ hearts broke at the boy’s tale.

“Oh... Naoki, I’m sorry. There’s no monster,” Nagisa consoled, gently sitting himself down beside Karma to comfort the frightened toddler.

“Yeah—and don’t worry. If it ever comes near your Papa—or you—again, I’ll get rid of it,” Karma assured gravely, ruffling his son’s hair. Finally, Naoki blinked, and his expression lightened up. Both parents breathed a sigh of relief.

“...P-Pwomise...?” Naoki mumbled, and Nagisa wiped the last of his small tears away with a smile.

“Of course we promise, honey. We’ll protect you. Now, go to sleep—and dream of something nice.”

Keeping in mind that his fathers were watching over him, Naoki closed his eyes, and his mind drifted safely to sleep. After staring at the sleeping boy for a minute, Nagisa turned to his perplexed husband.

“You’re not angry with him, huh?” He whispered, mindful of his son’s sleep.

Karma shook his head, though he sighed tiredly. “No... You know I could never be mad at him...”

At this, an endeared but knowing smile plastered itself on Nagisa’s face. “Yes, I know. You spoil him too much, Karma.”

“He’s our son; he deserves the best,” he responded as if it was the most obvious fact in the universe, to which Nagisa rolled his eyes amusedly. “...Though, I’m surprised he didn’t tell us about his nightmare.”

“He’s sensitive; he was probably too scared to. What matters is that we know now.” Nagisa turned back to look at Naoki fondly as he spoke. “...I was making some tea for us, before this all happened... It might not be done still, but go finish it, will you? I’ll stay with Naoki and make sure he stays asleep peacefully.”

Nodding, Karma agreed and left Nagisa to stay at their son’s side; relaxing with his husband, his kid, and some tea sounded like a good idea to him.

After five minutes, Karma returned with two cups, only to find Nagisa slumbering in the bed right next to Naoki. He finished both cups before joining them.

 

 

Naoki’s new bedtime schedule in place, things began to liven up in the Akabane home once again. Though, Karma was slightly annoyed that now there would be absolutely no chance of he and Nagisa engaging in any ‘alone time’—around five months without any release was beginning to take its toll on both parents. Nagisa’s father, embarrassingly, offered to take Naoki off their hands for a day or two, but Nagisa adamantly refused simply due to the sheer humiliation he felt when graced with the suggestion.

Once the family hit the fourth month since Nagisa’s road to recovery, the assassin was on his way to fully healing, and his boss notified him that he would be allowed back to work as soon as he was ready. Of course, there was no pressure—that was made very clear, to Karma’s approval. Nagisa’s boss also called to inform him that there were still no leads on their stray assaulter, much to Karma’s vexation. The man who’d incapacitated both Nagisa and Kei was still nowhere to be found, though their company had dispatched multiple teams to search.

Nagisa would be lying to himself if he didn’t feel unnerved by the lack of progress, but they didn’t have time to worry about such things. Naoki’s fifth birthday was fast approaching, and Nagisa was focusing more and more energy on healing—walking on his own, scheduling his last few meetings with his physical therapist. He was eager as ever to have life back to normal, and Karma had to agree, despite his innate urge to chase Nagisa’s assaulter to the ends of the Earth.

It was a Wednesday, and Nagisa had scheduled a final home visit with his therapist that afternoon. To give his husband more privacy and time, Karma took on the responsibility of picking Naoki up from day-care that afternoon and stopping at the grocery store afterwards. Hopefully, by the time they got back, the therapist would be gone and Nagisa would report his progress at 99%—almost fully healed.

These every-day, typical activities such as going grocery shopping were some of the most unexciting parts of Karma’s life, but looking down at Naoki now, he supposed they weren’t so bad. The boy was excitedly riding in the shopping cart—‘keeping their food safe from thieves,’ supposedly—and smiling brightly whenever he was cooed at by a passing stranger. Karma was certain they were violating some sort of safety regulation by doing this, but he frankly didn’t give a shit. It made his kid happy, and everyone else in the store simply seemed to think it was cute.

“Ugh... Brown or white eggs...” Karma mumbled, halting the cart at the egg section. Making mundane choices like this always aggravated him for some reason.

Naoki peeped up from his makeshift nest in the cart, “There are eggs other than white?!” He questioned rather loudly, causing a few people to look over with amused smiles. When he was this happy, the toddler usually overcame some of his shyness and would raise his voice without meaning to.

“Yeah, the brown eggs are... organic, I think?” Karma mused distractedly, picking up a carton of said eggs and handing them to Naoki, who placed carefully them to his left.

“Daddy, what’s organic?” The boy never missed a mark, staring up at his father curiously.

Karma’s eye twitched—not because of his son’s insistent questioning, but because he suddenly got the feeling that he and Naoki were being stared at. It wasn’t a glance, either; he practically felt a hole burning in the back of his head, and turned to his side so he could casually look.

“Uh, organic is...” Meeting the eyes of his impromptu stalker, all of Karma’s thoughts ceased.

There was the woman he’d hoped to never see again—Hiromi Shiota, staring at him and his son with a mix of shock, interest, and disillusionment. Her hair appeared stringy and greying, tied back in a messy bun, and her skin looked thin as paper. At just the sight of her, Karma’s body became filled to the brim with rage and disgust, his hands clenching at his sides.

_I can’t let you hurt Nagisa again, you won’t ruin our family, just stay out, stay out, stay out_

“...Daddy?” Naoki continued to stare at his father curiously, leaning up to tug at the angered man’s sleeve. He easily noticed the anger in Karma’s eyes—it was similar to the expression he’d seen when he saw his father on the phone, months ago—and being in a good mood, he felt brave enough to try and step in.

Two thoughts entered Karma’s mind as he felt Naoki tug on his sleeve:

_That bitch better not come over here, or there’ll be a scene._

_Fuck, I need to get Naoki away._

Deciding to follow both trains of thought, he sent a deathly glare Hiromi’s way—one that clearly communicated, _‘Don’t you dare take a step closer or you’ll be sorry.’_ Simultaneously, he patted his son’s hand in reassurance and took hold of the cart, quickly steering them away to the nearest check-out aisle. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t gotten everything on their list; he wouldn’t stand to spend another minute in that place.

He only looked back at Hiromi for a split second, but the expression of resigned serenity he saw was forever burned into his confused mind.

“Daddy, what happened...?” Naoki questioned as he was picked up from the cart to let their groceries be checked out. Karma sent him a poor excuse for a smile.

“Nothing at all, bud. Don’t you wanna get home and see how your Papa’s doing?”

The mention of Nagisa washed away any worried Naoki felt, and the boy nodded happily. “Uh-huh!”

To Karma’s relief, they didn’t see Hiromi a second time as they exited the store. The fact that he saw her at all—the fact that she was barely five feet away from his son—still numbed him. As he drove home, the obvious question popped into his mind. Would he tell Nagisa?

No, absolutely not, he figured. They were just getting over a major bump in the road, and informing Nagisa of what just happened would only overcomplicate things.

_But, aren’t Nagisa and I partners in this? Aren’t we a team? Shouldn’t I at least let him know?_

Even so, he eventually presumed that telling Nagisa would serve no purpose. It wasn’t as if anything actually happened. He saw Hiromi for a few seconds at the store, and that was it. No confrontation. Thinking this, he urged the incident to escape his mind.

It worked, and he was able to congratulate Nagisa on an almost-full recovery with nearly no reservations hiding at the back of his mind.

 

 

Only two weeks later, Nagisa’s world fell apart once again. It seemed as if someone, somewhere, just wanted, more than anything else, for him to be miserable.

Naoki’s birthday party had gone well, at least, even if there hadn’t been _many_ people there. Sugino and Kanzaki, along with their three-year-old daughter, sent their best wishes via e-mail, while Karma’s father sent a rather expensive gaming system as a birthday present. Naoki immediately found a new hobby, and Karma found himself slightly jealous at his dad’s ability to so easily win over his son.

Karasuma, Irina, and their son Ryouma had stopped by to attend the party, as well as Akari, and Maeda-san with her son Tetsuya. Although Ryouma was four years older than Naoki, the two had gotten along well since Naoki had first been adopted. Ryouma managed to get along with Tetsuya as well, and the three children spent the majority of the time playing with Naoki’s new video games. While Karma saw the volume of people at the party as small, it seemed to be just right in Naoki’s eyes, and the birthday boy was overall pleased with his celebration.

Everything was looking up, in the parents’ eyes. In correlation with Nagisa’s recovery, Naoki stayed true to his promise and was behaving better during school. He still cried, but didn’t have nearly as many tantrums, and even admitted that he’d been talking to his classmates more frequently. He still hadn’t mentioned any new friends, but both parents were hopeful.

In fact, everything seemed to be going _too_ well; Nagisa felt as if the universe was tricking him, lulling him into a false sense of security. He didn’t have to wait too long until he found out the reason why he felt that way.

“...Wh-What?”

All of Nagisa’s breath was pushed out of him as he asked that simple, one-word question. His blue eyes were wide, unseeing, and the book he was once reading lay forgotten at his side. From the carpet, where he sat surrounded by picture books, Naoki looked up at his father in apprehension. The five-year-old had become cautious of phones, especially if one of his fathers became shocked or eerily silent while talking on one. It never boded well.

On the other line, Nagisa’s father was still talking, but Nagisa was too blindsided—his throat was too dried up, and he couldn’t speak even if he tried. Fruitlessly, he urged his mind to fully comprehend the situation, and he almost thought he would simply lose it and throw the phone against the wall—until his father finally paused.

**“...Nagisa, would it be better if I left you to take things in for a while? I understand if you need a moment...”**

This, he could comprehend. He grasped the safe-sounding words like a lifeline and answered with a weak voice, “...Yes.”

**“Alright. If you don’t call me back by six tonight, though, I’ll be calling you again to discuss more details of... the funeral, and what happens from here. Okay?”**

“Y-Yes. Thank you.”

**“...Talk to you later, son. Take care.”**

“Yes. Bye.”

Nagisa set the phone on the table with shaky hands, letting out an equally shaky sigh. He sat with his hands pressed against his face for a while, struggling to make sense of the situation.

_She... Why...? I thought..._

“P-Papa...” A small voice piped up from next to him, and Nagisa peeked out from between his fingers to see Naoki, standing at the foot of the couch and staring at him with concerned eyes.

“...Papa, are you okay?”

Immediately, Nagisa scooped up his son and hugged him close, nestling the boy into his lap. “...Of course, Naoki... I’m fine...” he answered thoughtlessly, feeling as if he were going to cry. He knew he wouldn’t cry, though. He was too confused to cry, too on edge, his body in a defensive mode.

That was how Karma found his husband and son—curled up on the couch, Nagisa burying his face into Naoki’s hair and Naoki blinking confusedly but surrendering to his father’s grip. Automatically, Karma was thrown into a state of alarm— _something_ bad must’ve happened—and a million terrible scenarios flew through his mind, though he didn’t react outwardly. Staying composed, he simply set his briefcase down on the table, hung his coat up, and slowly walked over to the unmoving pair.

“...Nagisa...”

It was merely a notification that Karma was there. Hearing it, Nagisa relaxed and came to his senses, uncaging Naoki from his arms and looking to his husband.

Once meeting Nagisa’s eyes, Karma immediately sensed that something serious had happened; there were no remnants of tears on his lover’s face, but there was an uncanny blankness that sent him red flags. Luckily, before he was forced to make a decision on what to do next, Nagisa spoke.

“...Sorry, I didn’t make dinner.” In the same weary tone, Nagisa turned back to his son and continued, “Naoki, why don’t you go to your room and finish that painting you were working on? I think it’s turning out really good, and by the time you finish, we’ll have dinner ready.”

Feeling as if he was missing something, Naoki looked to Karma in confusion. Karma simply met him with a slightly stern stare—one that told him to follow Nagisa’s suggestion without questions, at least for now. Understanding at least this much, the boy nodded before running off to his room.

Karma sighed once the couple was alone, dropping to sit with Nagisa on the couch. He didn’t need to say anything, merely putting his arm around his husband’s shoulders and waiting to listen. Eventually, Nagisa leaned his head on his shoulder and took in a breath, his face obscured.

“...My mom... She’s dead.”

It came as a shock to Karma, who’s first thought was of how he’d just seen the woman alive only two weeks ago. She’d been standing barely five feet from him—and now, she was dead? How? Where? Why?

_Speaking of which, maybe I should tell Nagisa that we saw her... No, I need to, now..._

But Karma wasn’t quick enough, and Nagisa was already continuing hesitantly.

“It was... suicide. She locked... herself in her car, and let the carbon monoxide kill her... She left a note...”

With each word, Karma’s disbelief grew, and he held onto Nagisa tighter.

“My dad just called to let me know...” Suddenly, Nagisa was chuckling—not a happy sound, and something that sent shivers up Karma’s spine. “...Can barely believe it, right? I thought that I’d been free from her, but... now, I suddenly have all these regrets...? How can life be so unfair...?” His breath hitched, though he wasn’t crying. Karma still felt his body heave, and held him closer.

“...You couldn’t have done anything, Nagisa...”

“Could I have?!” In a split second, Nagisa’s face was raised, fronting Karma closely with a wild look in his eyes. “Couldn’t I have talked to her? Tried to set things straight? Did you know, my dad... s-sent me an e-mail, a while back. It said that she might’ve been feeling remorseful about our situation, and she seemed to be thinking about r-reconciling. But, guess what?! I knew that, and I still... d-didn’t do shit, Karma...!”

Overwhelmed, he buried his face into Karma’s shirt. “Why?! Why didn’t I do anything...?! I just... let this happen, when things could’ve gotten better... I _wanted_ things to get better...”

He’d been forcing himself to listen and take in the information, but soon Karma couldn’t take it. Hearing Nagisa, in this much pain over his mother yet again, was too much. He whispered, furiously.

“Nagisa, don’t you _dare_ think for a second that this is in any way your fault. It isn’t, not at _all—_ “

Snapping his head back up, Nagisa whispered back just as heatedly, “I know you’re probably _glad_ she’s dead—but for just a moment, put yourself in my shoes. I’ve always, _always_ hoped to make amends with her and have a better relationship. N-Now, there’s no hope for...” The assassin visibly shook, unable to continue, and dipped his head into his husband’s neck again.

Karma only stared wide-eyed. The anger and grief came off of Nagisa in powerful waves, and his grip on Karma’s shirt was painful. Karma didn’t want to test him; though he wouldn’t admit it, he was afraid.

An indiscernible amount of time was spent there, on the couch, Nagisa now buried into Karma rather than Naoki. Too wary to speak up, Karma waited until his grieving partner finally sat up, the anger absent for now.

“I... need to call my dad back. He needs to tell me more about the funeral, her will... stuff like that.” Nagisa’s voice was monotonous, drained, and he removed himself from Karma’s lap to reach for the phone.

“Nagisa...” Karma was still apprehensive of his lover’s state, but pushed forward when Nagisa didn’t stop him. “...You said she left a note? Do you know what it said?”

The phone resting listlessly in his hand, Nagisa decided to answer before pushing any buttons. “...My dad told me it was short. Just a few sentences about how it was her choice, and that it was a... fitting end to a life like hers.”

Honestly, Karma had nothing much to say to that, a depressing gloom settling around them like fog. “...I’m sorry, Nagisa. I... I’m not _glad_ that this happened, you know. Please, don’t think something like that.”

In truth, Karma actually wasn’t sure whether he was happy or sad about it. He felt more confused than he had in a long while. Had he lied just now? There was no way of him knowing.

Nagisa could tell this easily, and found himself feeling ten times worse—not because of Karma’s uncertain feelings, but because he’d been the one to say it in the first place. “...N-No, I’m... I said that without thinking. I was just overwhelmed—I just... Sorry.” His voice was now weak and quiet, and Karma couldn’t help scooting closer to carefully envelope him in his arms again.

“...It’s okay. It’s just—not your fault, Nagisa. Tell me you know that.”

“I know that.”

They stayed only for a few moments longer, before Nagisa proceeded to call his father and get the rest of the details. The funeral service would be held quickly, within the next week, and Nagisa would receive half of the inheritance. The other half was stated to go to Hiromi’s sister and her family. Hearing this, Nagisa’s heart was settled somewhat; at least Hiromi hadn’t written her son out of her will. A small, cynical voice in Nagisa’s head told him that she must’ve simply forgotten, but he desperately ignored it.

After bidding his father goodbye, Karma suggested ordering delivery; neither parent felt up to cooking at this point. Their dinner proceeded rather sullenly, with Naoki still confused and worried, until Nagisa finally bit the bullet.

“Honey, I’m sorry you’re confused about what happened today,” he tried to overcome his tiredness and smile comfortingly at his son from across the table, but the five-year-old only continued to fidget in his seat.

“...Are you okay?” That was all he asked, but even so, the melodic ring of his voice managed to brighten Nagisa’s spirits a little.

“Yes, I’m fine. Someone... just passed away, and it came as a shock to us. You don’t need to worry, though.” Naoki was already somewhat familiar with the concept of death; it’d been inevitably brought up multiple times, ever since the toddler first watched Bambi. Both parents had been decent at explaining it without letting Naoki be exposed to too much or too little.

“Oh...” The boy’s mouth twisted into a small frown. “...Who?”

“My mother...” Nagisa’s smile waned, and Karma glanced over at him, concerned, but curious of Naoki’s reaction.

Naoki’s eyes widened visibly, but he quickly looked down at his plate. He’d never heard anything about Nagisa’s mother before, unaware that such a person even existed. “O-Oh...” He stayed silent for a tense few seconds, drilling a hole into his unfinished meal, before looking up to Nagisa again with sad eyes. “P-Papa, I’m sorry...”

“It’ll be alright, Naoki.” Nagisa felt warmth course through him at his son’s empathy, and reached over to pat him on the head before they continued with their meal. Only a few minutes later, though, he glanced in Naoki’s direction again to see the boy’s eyes filling with tears.

At the same time, Karma called out gently, “Naoki, what’s wrong?”

He responded amid a few sniffles, keeping his eyes averted downwards. “I... I don’... want Papa and D-Daddy to d-die...!”

Immediately after getting his words out, Naoki began wailing, raising his hands up in fists to rub at his red face. The fathers’ gazes met briefly before Nagisa hurried over to Naoki’s side, kneeling and holding the child soothingly.

For the first time that day, the assassin allowed a tear to escape him, resting his head on his son’s.

Because, as soon as Naoki began crying, he’d realized it. His mother’s death would haunt him for a long time, he was sure; if he were in a different place in his life, it possibly would’ve destroyed him much more. But he didn’t have to let it ruin him, or encompass his thoughts—because he had his _own_ family, and the sobbing, black-haired five-year-old he was currently holding meant the world to him. Those feelings were incredibly strong, so strong that Nagisa could barely contain them.

Soon, Karma joined them, and the small family stayed in that position until Naoki ceased his sobs.

When they retired for the night, Karma vehemently promised the boy that neither he nor Nagisa would _ever_ die, to Nagisa’s amusement. Hearing this, Naoki didn’t take long to fall asleep, happily settled in the middle of his parents’ embrace. The couple had been discussing how to get the child sleeping in his own room again, since Nagisa was now healed and life was getting back to normal, but with the unexpected development of Hiromi’s suicide, both fathers wouldn’t have wanted Naoki anywhere else.

 

 

After being kicked in the ribs by his restless, sleeping child, Karma awoke and irritably got himself out of bed. As it was only eight on a Sunday morning, he left Nagisa and Naoki to sleep some more, going through the process of making coffee and breakfast by himself. Normally, if Nagisa wasn’t on a mission, he would do the cooking, seeing as Karma was always working. After yesterday, however, Karma wanted to treat his grieving lover as kindly as possible.

Once he finished preparing breakfast, he sat with his coffee and checked his e-mail, letting the scrambled eggs and bacon stay slightly heated on the stove. He didn’t have to wait long; by nine, Naoki tottered into the living room and happily greeted him, followed by a more sluggish Nagisa. Karma greeted his son back and ruffled his bedhead, to Naoki’s slight distress.

“I’ll make a plate for you, bud,” he offered, already walking over to the stove. Naoki nodded and smiled, hoisting himself into a seat at the dinner table, as Nagisa did. Karma quickly fixed two plates and brought them over, placing one in front of each of his boys. Naoki, chipper, thanked him, while Nagisa only stared, slightly surprised.

“...Thanks, Karma,” he eventually muttered, a blush coming to his cheeks at the husbandly gesture. He knew why Karma was doing this.

“No problem,” Karma answered with an amiable smile, leaning over to chastely kiss his husband. As they parted, Nagisa’s lips were left still puckered, expecting more. This earned him a chuckle from Karma, to which he glared and began to shovel eggs into his mouth.

Surprisingly, the mood was very light—much lighter than what it’d been last night. Nagisa’s eyes still held a smidgen of gloom in them, but overall, no one would’ve thought that a family member just died yesterday.

When Naoki completely cleaned his plate, as usual, he kicked his legs around and obstinately asked to be excused to play outside. The parents looked to each other; their apartment complex was adjacent to a beautiful community park-playground that was usually full of kids 24/7. Naoki had only been there a few times, forced by his fathers, but it seemed very safe. By wishing to go there of his own volition, both parents were hopeful that the boy was finally beginning to open up and become more outgoing.

“Yes, you can go—but, remember, don’t talk to strangers unless they’re your age, and be safe.” Karma knew Naoki was still far too shy to approach a stranger of his own accord, but he couldn’t hold back the order. Naoki nodded in affirmation, smiling brightly.

“I’ll be good!” He jumped from his seat, running to his bedroom, calling, “I wanna bring my chalks!”

Nagisa shook his head amusedly—so, that was it. The boy hadn’t had many opportunities to use his new array of chalks, and now he finally had summoned up the courage to go on his own. Sure enough, Naoki then sprinted to the door, carrying his case of chalk and shouting out a quick “Bye!”

“Don’t run into anyone!” Karma shouted back futilely, just as Naoki shut the door behind him. A few seconds passed, before Karma muttered, “...Did he bring his keycard with him so he can get back in...?”

“I’m sure he did. He’s always bugging me to make sure I remember mine when I go out.” Nagisa sighed, patting his overly worried husband on the shoulder. As soon as he stood up to take all the dishes, the phone began to ring.

“I’ve got it,” Karma already claimed, seeing as Nagisa was taking it upon himself to clear the table. He stretched leisurely and strode over to the phone, though when he pressed it to his ear, he soon was taken aback.

“Akabane residence.”

**“...Ah, hello, Karma-kun. How are things?”**

Hearing the voice—and noting how the man didn’t introduce himself—Karma immediately recognized it as Nagisa’s father. Truthfully, the two hadn’t spoken in a while—they spoke rarely at all—and Karma wet his lips before answering.

“...Hello, Yoshiro-san. We’re doing well, actually. I’m very sorry about... Hiromi-san, though. It’s a tragedy.”

**“Yeah, tell me about it... Uh, did Nagisa seem to take things well?”**

At first, Karma hadn’t very well liked Nagisa’s father, considering how he was somewhat absent during Nagisa’s childhood. Eventually, though, he grew to become at least cordial with the man. After all, Yoshiro was a rather likeable guy at heart, and seemed to care deeply for his son’s wellbeing—a care that shone in moments like this. It urged Karma to respond honestly and genially to the worried father.

“...Not at first, no. You can imagine, considering what Hiromi-san had done. But... now, he’s better.” So caught up in his conversation, Karma didn’t notice that Nagisa had stopped completely still by the sink, listening acutely.

**“Ah, I’m glad! I was worried, especially with him only just recovering from his injuries... I’m happy that he isn’t letting it get the best of him!”**

Karma almost laughed, remembering that poor Yoshiro was still oblivious to the fact that his son was an assassin. They’d told him that Nagisa had obtained his injuries by falling off a roof, similar to the story that had been reported to the hospital. Yoshiro accepted the story without any doubt, offering his son his best wishes. The man was charismatic, for sure, but also unfortunately gullible—or fortunately, in this case.

**“Could I still talk with him? I have a bit more to report about the situation...”**

Snapping out of his thoughts, Karma complied, “Sure thing. I’ll hand the phone to him now.”

**“Thanks! Nice talking to you, Karma-kun.”**

“Ah, you too...” Karma replied mindlessly, now noticing Nagisa’s mysterious stillness. Nevertheless, he walked over and tapped him on the shoulder, holding out the phone. Nagisa turned and sent him a thankful smile, taking it. Luckily, nothing in his expression appeared out of the ordinary, and Karma went to sink himself into the couch, relieved.

He spent the next twenty minutes watching Sunday morning news; it was only when Nagisa finally joined him did he realize that he hadn’t been listening in on his lover’s conversation. Whether that was a good or bad thing, Karma couldn’t tell.

“Everything go okay with your dad?” he asked anyway, looking at his husband cautiously. Nagisa didn’t seem overly distressed, his hands resting in his lap and his eyes simply worn-out.

“... Yeah, I suppose,” he muttered, leaning on Karma’s shoulder with a sigh.

“What did you two talk about?”

“Just my mom’s... mental state before her suicide, sort of. Apparently she’d had a lot of things go wrong in her life, even before I was born—which I already sort of knew, but... My dad just said that this had been a long time coming, and I had no blame in any of it...”

Mentally, Karma noted to give Nagisa’s dad a hug the next time he saw him. “...And he’s right. You know that.”

Nagisa knew Karma was only saying it to affirm whether it was completely true, and sighed a second time. “...Yes, I know. It’s just complicated. He told me that deep in her heart, Hiromi was always completely sorry for what she did to me, and she was truly regretful that her relationship with me got... ruined... But how can we even know, you know?”

Seeing his point, Karma mulled it over, before a particular visit to the grocery store popped into his mind once again. Grimacing slightly, he figured later was better than never.

“...Well, I think we can... infer. I’m sorry for not telling you this sooner, but...”

Nagisa’s eyes peeped up to stare at his husband harder, evaluating his careful tone.

“...A few weeks or so back, while you were busy getting better... Naoki and I went out to the grocery store once. And I saw her there. Your mom.”

Eyes turning into saucers, Nagisa opened his mouth to speak—presumably yell—but Karma cut him off, turning to hold him tightly. “D-Don’t get carried away yet—just let me explain. She was just _there,_ suddenly staring at Naoki and me. I didn’t really know how to react—of course, I felt so _angry_... But I thought of Naoki, and sort of panicked... I left quickly after that, and we didn’t see her... Again, sorry for not telling...”

Karma trailed off apprehensively, feeling as if he hadn’t done a good job of pleading his case at all. What was the point he was trying to make again? Either way, the way Nagisa was pursing his lips at him wasn’t good.

After several more than uncomfortable seconds, Nagisa finally responded, “...Okay. So you just saw her looking at you, and left. Is that all?” He didn’t sound very mad, but he was quiet, enough to set off a slight warning bell in Karma’s head.

“W-Well, not really... I mean, she did look sort of depressed... And shocked, at Naoki probably, but... N-Nagisa, I don’t think she was hostile towards our family, is what I’m trying to say.” Yeah, that was it.

This time, Nagisa’s eyes widened again, and Karma immediately understood what he was probably thinking. “And n-no—that doesn’t mean that it’s your fault for not stepping up to contact her again. It was entirely her decision whether or not to do that, you know? She probably was... Well, maybe once she saw Naoki and me together like that, she was finally at peace that you had your own life—your own family. S-She didn’t die detesting that fact, or denying it... I’m sure, in the end, she was accepting of us. I swear, I saw that, in how she looked at us...”

_Does this mean that seeing Naoki and I was what gave her the drive to end her life—because she was at peace with it? I don’t know how I feel about that..._

Still, Karma waited for Nagisa’s reaction once he’d finished his piece. At first, his face stayed neutral, but soon he dipped it, a few tears escaping his eyes. Immediately, Karma scooped him closer, and they embraced with Nagisa’s face burying below his lover’s head.

“...Th-Thank you, Karma...” He heard, barely muffled by his shirt, and he let out a long breath of relief. He hadn’t messed up. Somehow, he’d said something right, even if he was just talking off the top of his head.

After a few shaky sobs, Nagisa turned back up with a smile, his eyes still red-rimmed. “I love you... I haven’t said it enough, lately. But I love you.”

Karma could only blink, stunned by the beautiful image. “...You don’t even have to say it...” _I love you too._

His lover only giggled back, wiping his face with a hand before surging forwards for a kiss. Karma gratefully accepted, opening his mouth and searching out the other man’s tongue. They met, and Nagisa hummed contentedly as he melted further into his husband’s form.

When they parted, Karma found himself on his back with Nagisa on top of him, grinning down. The previously grieving assassin kissed him once more before moving downwards, nibbling at his exposed neck.

“You have to go to a meeting in a few hours, right?” The question was breathed just below his ear, and Karma had to think for a while before answering.

“Yeah... But, that’s a few hours away, right?” Not satisfied to be laying meekly on his back, Karma trailed his hands down to crawl back up underneath Nagisa’s shirt, clenching at his bare waist playfully. This issued a laugh from Nagisa, and Karma smiled, leaning up to lock their lips in another kiss.

“Wh-What are you guys doing?”

They should’ve expected it by now. Still shocked, Karma shot up and just missed colliding his forehead with his lover’s. Unlike him, Nagisa stayed calm and sat up, turning to his confused, slightly worried son.

“We’re just expressing our love for each other, Naoki. It’s nothing to be worried about. Did you have fun outside?” Nagisa smoothly spoke with a smile. Meanwhile, Karma was breathing a little heavily and sitting up slowly.

“Um, yeah... What’s ek-pressing love—like that? I don’ get it...” Naoki stubbornly went on, gripping his chalk box more tightly in frustration. Holding back a chuckle at his child’s cute ignorance, Nagisa surged forwards to pick him up and settle them back on the sofa, the chalk case falling to the floor.

“You don’t know? It’s just like this—!” Nagisa uttered, before mercilessly tickling the five-year-old and pressing an array of kisses to his cheeks and neck. Naoki immediately burst into laughter, screeching as he wiggled and tried to escape. The high-pitched squealing only urged Nagisa on, and he lifted his son’s shirt to blow a raspberry into his stomach. Pleading for mercy amidst his unrelenting giggles, Naoki turned completely red in the face.

Now smiling at the happy image, Karma felt strangely at peace. For both him and Nagisa, all thoughts of the mystery perpetrator who’d broken Nagisa’s legs had been sent straight to the backs of their minds. Even as Hiromi’s death still acted as a light mist in the household, not so easily forgotten, both men were entirely positive they would make it through stronger than before.

 

 

“Alright, class, we’re going to break for recess now! Follow Sayuri-sensei outside, and remember to play safe!”

Ishiyo-sensei raised her voice louder as the kids jumped out of their seats and ran to the door before she even finished the announcement. Sayuri-sensei stopped them before they could enter the hallway, directing them to form a line before nodding to the other teacher and leading them outside. About a third of the kindergarteners chose to stay inside, however, including Naoki.

As always, though, Tetsuya came to meet him at his seat, looking at him with unassuming jade eyes. “Akabane-kun, do you want to come outside with me?”

The answer never changed. Naoki looked away, embarrassed at his inhibition. “...N-No, I’m fine here. You can go though, Maeda-kun.”

Instead, the older boy simply pulled up a nearby chair and sat at the desk as well, not appearing annoyed in the slightest. This was what Naoki liked about his friend, though it confused him as well. Tetsuya had plenty of other friends—some, Naoki was sure, were better friends with him than he was—but he would hang out with Naoki instead, making sure the quieter boy was never too lonely. He didn’t understand why Tetsuya did this, but there lingered a silent hope in the back of his mind that it was because, maybe, Tetsuya liked him just as much as he liked Tetsuya.

“Naoki-chan, Tetsuya-chan, are you sure you two don’t want to go outside today? The weather is very nice right now!” Ishiyo-sensei approached them kindly with a smile. She’d gotten used to Naoki’s shyness, and had been urging him to open up more as the year progressed.

To her disappointment, both boys shook their heads, but she knew she couldn’t force them. “Alright, but know that the opportunity is still there.” She left them to approach another group of students, and Naoki sighed in relief.

Tetsuya didn’t speak for a few minutes, and Naoki increasingly felt on edge. He wasn’t as shy with his friend, but he simply didn’t have anything to talk about at the moment. His mind scrambled for something to say, and he felt his cheeks heating up, his palms getting sweaty.

“Hey, d’you wanna have a sleepover sometime?”

Thankfully, Tetsuya finally spoke, and a long breath escaped Naoki. Immediately after, though, he tilted his head, taking in the question. He’d heard kids talking about sleepovers before, but he’d never taken them into consideration himself.

“Um, I dunno. I’ve never been to one before...”

Sensing his uneasiness, Tetsuya smiled encouragingly and leaned forwards onto the desk separating them. “Well, it’s lots of fun! You get to watch movies and stay up a little later, and have dinner with friends and stuff. And play video games. And pillow fights are really fun, too!”

His brain eagerly soaking up the new information, Naoki’s large eyes sparkled. “O-Oh, have you ever been to one...?”

“Of course! I’ve had them with Aki-kun and Daichi-kun, and Jurou-kun. It’s _really_ fun, promise!”

Naoki felt stupid—obviously Tetsuya had done it before! Probably everyone had done it, other than him... He felt even more self-conscious, but his excitement at the idea of a sleepover overpowered his embarrassment.

“It sounds fun, Maeda-kun...” He said happily, but his face fell when a pressing concern entered his mind.

_I’m still scared when I go to sleep..._

It’d been a week since he began to sleep in his own bed again, and during three of those seven nights, he’d been w0ken up in the middle of the night by some sort of bumping noise. He already felt frightened enough, falling asleep fitfully without either of his parents near, so the noises utterly terrified him. It would be a thump, a bang from outside his window, some sort of rattling—no matter what it was, it urged him to, without fail, flee to his fathers’ room. They still let him sleep with them in those cases, which was comforting, but Naoki wondered if he’d _ever_ be able to sleep alone without being scared.

And at a sleepover, he wouldn’t have his parents to run to. Even if it _was_ at his house, he’d still be expected to sleep next to his friend... Thinking of having Tetsuya see him like that—scared out of his wits, too scared to fall asleep—made him turn entirely despondent.

Tetsuya noticed his friend’s sullen look, and asked, concerned, “Are you okay, Akabane-kun? You don’t have to if you don’t want... I mean, it was just an idea.”

“N-No, I _do_ want to...!” Naoki shot his head up, adamantly shaking his hands. “It’s just...” He looked away again, a pout forming on his lips. Confiding in his friend about something like _this_ was just too humiliating...

“What is it, Akabane-kun?” When he got no answer from the hesitant boy, Tetsuya leaned forward again, making his voice gentle. “You can tell me, Akabane-kun. I won’t laugh at you. Promise.”

His friend’s words lessened his fear somewhat, so Naoki opened his mouth. “I... Just, at nighttime, I...” His voice lowered to a shaky mumble. “I get scared... too scared to sleep sometimes. It’s embarrassing...”

True to his words, Tetsuya didn’t laugh, instead feeling pity for Naoki. “...What makes you scared?”

“Um, well... I have nightmares, about... a monster near my room...” This time, Naoki whispered, feeling as if what he was saying should be a strictly confidential secret. “It makes noises, and scares me...”

Tetsuya looked slightly alarmed, his eyes widened. “Is it _in_ your room?” He whispered just the same, taking his friend completely seriously.

“Um, I don’ think so... S’outside my window... I hear all the noises it makes. M’scared it might try to get in...” Just talking about it scared Naoki, who unconsciously made himself smaller and shrunk down in his seat.

“Don’t your daddies protect you? If you’re scared, you could go to them,” Tetsuya tried to assure him. Naoki nodded hesitantly.

“Y-Yeah, they do, b-but I can’t sleep with them all the times...” He knew it was childish to sleep with his parents, so when he finally admitted it he ducked his head down. “That’s why I don’ really wanna have a sleepover right now... Wh-What if I get scared and w-want my parents... S-Sorry, it’s embarrassing...” His face felt overwhelmingly red, but he lifted it as Tetsuya reached over to touch his arm supportively.

Luckily, the other boy didn’t appear mocking or irritated at all—only kind. “It’s okay, Akabane-kun. We can just have one once the monster goes away. Is that fine?”

Confused, Naoki nodded. “Y-Yeah. But... d’you really think it’ll go away? S’been there for a long time...”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Does your window have a lock?”

“Um... I dunno...” Naoki was still hesitant, but Tetsuya was now smiling triumphantly.

“If it does, just make sure to lock it at nighttime. That way, the monster can’t get in for sure! And if it doesn’t have a lock, your parents can seal it some other way if you ask them. My little brother had a monster outside his window, and this worked for him, so I’m sure it’ll work for you!”

Tetsuya’s idea suddenly made him feel much more confident, and he smiled graciously. “O-Okay! I’ll try it... An’ then we can have a sleepover! I p-promise!”

Smiling back at him, Tetsuya squeezed his arm happily before pulling away. “Great...! Oh, and... Do you mind if I call you Naoki-kun?”

In a split second, Naoki’s face and neck turned a startling red; one wouldn’t be surprised to see steam coming out of his ears. “A-Ah, um, Maeda-kun...” He almost couldn’t think with how nervous he was. Why would Tetsuya want to do _that?_ Even so, he supposed he would allow his friend to do what he wanted... He didn’t want to be rude. Even if it did feel weird. “Um... I guess so.”

Noticing his friend’s sudden nervousness, Tetsuya grew slightly concerned, but smiled at being given permission. “Okay, great, Naoki-kun! You can call me Tetsuya-kun instead of Maeda-kun, too!” He already had stood up from his seat, even as Naoki sat there stuttering.

“E-Eh, M-Maeda-kun... A-Are you sure...? I, um...” His blush only grew, and he floundered confusedly, but Tetsuya simply grinned and pulled Naoki up from his seat.

“Yes—call me Tetsuya. D’you wanna go play cards? I know we could play Go Fish again, but I wanna teach you War. It’s funner!” He was already tugging Naoki along, whose nerves were tingling mercilessly.

“Ah... O-Okay...”

Naoki figured he’d allow himself to be tugged; he needed to step out of his comfort zone, anyway. Following Tetsuya’s advice was always better than letting himself be secluded and cagey. If he became more social, it would please his parents as well.

Still, the butterflies flying through his stomach whenever he called Tetsuya by his given name made him wince.

 

 

Turning on his side and snuggling into his blankets more, Naoki sighed contentedly. It was around eight, and Nagisa had just put him to bed, leaving his bedroom door slightly cracked open as usual. Keeping it fully open scared Naoki, as he’d have a full view of the wide, dark hallway, but having it completely closed was also slightly daunting.

Since Tetsuya had told him of the trick to keeping monsters out, Naoki had been locking his window by himself each night. He’d been ecstatic when he discovered that his window _did_ have a lock, and frightened when he realized that he hadn’t been locking it until now. Anything could’ve gotten into his room at any moment, and he would’ve been completely defenseless!

Now, though, the knowledge that his window was tightly locked and secure was enough to keep him feeling safe as he slept. He no longer had any nightmares, and since he began locking his window, any noises that used to wake him up seemed to have stopped! He reminded himself to thank Tetsuya later—because of his friend’s plan, Naoki wasn’t nearly as scared anymore, and he could tell that his parents were proud of him. Hopefully, he could even have his first sleepover soon! The thought excited him, and he smiled giddily into his pillow.

Forcing his thoughts to stop running so quickly, he turned himself into a more comfortable position. Within a couple of minutes, his breath slowed steadily, and he drifted off to sleep.

...Unfortunately, it didn’t last more than five hours. In the dead of night, Naoki suddenly found himself returning to consciousness, ever so slowly. His eyes needed no time to adjust to the darkness of the room, and he immediately quaked. He never liked this time of night.

Before he could question why he woke up, he heard it—a rattling noise, coming from outside. Or more specifically, his window. As soon as he noticed it, he didn’t move—couldn’t move, becoming completely immobile in shock and fear. He could barely breathe, in fear that his panting would be too loud.

Like any other kid, Naoki had an active imagination, and sometimes it scared him—for instance, when he’d dreamt of the same monster that had hurt his Papa chasing him down as well. However, he knew that was all it was—his imagination. The realization that the rattling he was hearing—becoming more insistent now, and never stopping—was _real_ sent him into a state of terror.

He knew monsters didn’t really exist... Did they?

Was there someone trying to get into his window? Was it a person?

Trembling underneath his blankets, he couldn’t turn around to check—couldn’t even move his head _underneath_ the covers to hide. He was still immobile for some reason, though he was screaming at himself to _move._

He could move his eyes, at least. He eyed his door, just a few feet from him, still cracked open. Couldn’t he run and get his parents?

The rattling carried on.

_I have to go now, before whatever’s outside gets in._

Yes, he thought, building the courage to scramble out of his bed on the count of three. Because who knew how long that thing had been shaking the window to get in—it could’ve been _hours_ , and he’d only just now woken up. Maybe it was close to urging the lock open somehow. He needed to run, _now._

_One... Two... Three...!_

With instincts controlling him, he shot out of his bed in a flash and opened his door, not daring to look behind him.

A few seconds later, down the hall and in the parents’ bedroom, Nagisa’s eyes opened smoothly. As soon as he awakened—there was no ten-second period of half-lucidness—he stayed still and started evaluating exactly _what_ had woken him up.

He’d heard a squeal, coming from somewhere farther down the hallway—that was it.

It took him a fraction of a second to realize it, and a fraction more to realize the tense air throughout the apartment.

_An intruder is here._

He could sense it, as easy as breathing. His instincts kicking into action automatically, he slipped his hand down between the side of the mattress and the headboard, gripping the slender knife that was sandwiched between them. He and Karma were always prepared.

Soundless and fluid, he slithered from the bed and zipped his way to the door. A few more thumps resounded through the apartment, and something crashed in the living room, broken. Whoever was in their home wasn’t sneaking around anymore, it seemed.

A second set of tiny footsteps pattered faster, frantic.

Nagisa moved so quickly, like a ghost, that he reached the scene less than five seconds after he first woke up. He only took a glance and reacted intuitively, because at the opening of the hallway connecting to the living room, his son was against the wall and a towering figure was advancing towards him.

With only one word running throughout his mind, Nagisa made his first audible step forward—just enough to turn the intruder’s attention his way. The man had only met his eyes for a second, and Nagisa noticed two things: this was the man who’d attacked him and Kei, and the man was holding a knife as well.

Strangely, no thoughts of taking revenge for his injuries entered Nagisa’s mind, because it was already filled to the brim with _Naoki._

Luckily for the assassin, who’d stopped momentarily to evaluate the distance between this man and his son and _how was he going to make this work without Naoki getting hurt_ , the giant man started _speaking_.

“Aha... There you are... You—fucker, you took something important away from me... m-my son— _you_ fucking killed him! You need to know how it feels—!”

He didn’t get to finish speaking—the man’s voice, what he was saying, was like acid in Nagisa’s ears.

So fast that anyone watching wouldn’t be able to see him, Nagisa strode forwards and struck his knife into the man’s jugular with a strong arm, disarming the man with his other hand. The knife got lodged messily in his neck, unfortunately, and red, warm liquid instantaneously covered Nagisa’s vision. It soon died out, though, and the apartment was silent.

It took Nagisa a few seconds to snap out of the murderous mode he’d found himself in, but when he did, he slowly took in the scene. He was covered in blood—but more importantly, so was Naoki. His little boy, with his shirt and face splattered, eyes wide and blank. His face was pale as a sheet, and Nagisa faintly noticed his hands were shaking.

“N... Naoki...” Nagisa called softly, though it came out gravelly with emotion. His son didn’t look up, not showing any signs of having heard his father, and Nagisa slowly stepped forwards.

_We... should clean up. Naoki is bloody. He’s scared._

He, somehow, couldn’t listen to his own mind, instead kneeling down to his son’s level and carefully, slowly, enveloping him in his own stained arms, as if he were made of glass and could break at any minute.

“It’s okay, baby... You’re okay...” He muttered unthinkingly into his son’s ear, stroking his neck and head, willing his heart to stop beating so fast. After a minute or two, though, he realized it wasn’t his heart that was going a mile a minute—it was Naoki’s.

Soon, Naoki dipped his head into Nagisa’s neck, and Nagisa could feel the spot become wet before long, even amid all the blood. He held tighter.

It could’ve been a few minutes or an hour, Nagisa wasn’t sure, but eventually he whispered in his son’s ear again, “Let’s clean ourselves up.”

After a few seconds with no response, he felt Naoki nod against his shoulder, and he slowly raised to his feet, cradling the boy in his arms. He walked soundlessly still, until they were in the bathroom, where he did everything mechanically—placing Naoki on the counter, filling up the tub and making sure the water’s temperature was just right, undressing himself, undressing his son, throwing their red-stained clothes to form a pile farthest from sight, and carefully lowering himself and his son into the warm water. Faintly, he noted that he’d perhaps made it too hot, but Naoki didn’t protest. Could he?

_He’s broken. I’ve broken him._

Nagisa hurriedly tried to shake the horrid thought from his mind. It didn’t work.

_He’s seen death. It’s been on him. He’s seen me take a life. I’m a monster to him. He’s going to turn out all messed up because I..._

He felt weak, powerless, wrapping his arms around Naoki from where he sat behind the boy, burying his face into that black hair and letting his tears fall into it. His sobs were the only sounds heard in the room, echoing off the walls, a constant reminder of how he’d failed at being a good father.

Naoki, after a minute of Nagisa’s weeping, suddenly moved—finally. It was just a slight shift in the water, but Nagisa clung to it desperately, and was elated when the boy actually spoke.

“Papa... m’sticky...”

His voice was extremely quiet, but it sounded loud in the small, resonant room. Nagisa quickly began scrubbing at his son, washing water over him and utilizing the two wash rags and soap bars sitting on the bath’s rim. Within minutes, the water slowly turned a rusty color. Nagisa’s tears never stopped flowing, though he urged them to stop so he could focus on cleaning off Naoki.

It never crossed his mind to wash his son’s hair—not in this newly tainted water—but there was some blood spotted in the boy’s bangs as well, so Nagisa had to wet them at least a little. Once he turned Naoki around so he could clean his face, he noticed that the child, while still pale and distant, didn’t appear as traumatized as he once had. A small spark of relief shot within him, but not enough to overpower his incredible guilt and anxiety.

“Papa...” Naoki mumbled out again, and Nagisa realized that the boy’s face had been clean long ago. Now, all he was doing was lightly tracing and caressing it with his fingers, mindlessly. “...You’re messy...”

Faintly, Nagisa also noticed that Naoki was right; he hadn’t washed himself off yet, and his neck, face, and arms were probably bloody in places. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of his son.

Naoki, when he figured out that Nagisa wouldn’t clean himself, picked up the rag and wiped his father clumsily. He cleaned off most of the blood, and when he got to Nagisa’s face, tried to wipe the tears that were still relentlessly flowing. The fruitless action only made Nagisa cry harder; when he saw the tears beginning to crawl down Naoki’s cheeks, he cried harder still.

“...Naoki... Stop, honey...” He reached out to encompass the small form, taking the rag from him and letting it float in the ruddy water. Naoki again buried his face in Nagisa’s neck and began to shake.

While he felt completely hopeless—lost in despair, not seeing any light up ahead—there was a small voice in the back of his mind that told him it was going to be okay. Naoki was _crying,_ which meant that he was _feeling_ ; Nagisa hadn’t broken him. Naoki was _holding him;_ he didn’t see Nagisa as a monster. Naoki had called him ‘Papa’; Nagisa was still a father.

His tears finally stopped, though he supposed Naoki was crying for him now.

They sat there pitifully in the water for a half-hour longer, the water cooling around them. Then, Nagisa heard a shout from further in the apartment.

“Fucking hell! What the fuck is this?!”

He almost laughed. Karma’s voice grounded him, though, and he was already looking at the door as it opened to his lover’s wild expression.

“N-Nagisa...” Karma choked, unable to speak as he took in the bloody water, the pile of clothes in the corner, his son with his head in Nagisa’s shoulder. Seeing as his husband was speechless, Nagisa trusted himself to speak without breaking down.

“Could you get rid of the body—just, away from sight, from...”

His voice was cracked, but he thought he did a good job considering the situation. What he couldn’t say out loud, he tried to convey with his eyes—wide, fearful, sad eyes. Karma seemed to understand what had happened immediately, sending a worried glance Naoki’s way before exiting to fulfill Nagisa’s request.

In the time Karma was gone, Nagisa felt Naoki stop shaking. He hoped the boy was sleeping—anything to keep him from this sorry reality—but didn’t check to see. At this point, he wasn’t confident that he could move from his position. He was too fixed in it and felt that if he or Naoki stirred, everything would shatter apart.

Karma returned after twenty minutes, and sighed when he found his husband and son in the same pose from before, statues. At least, Nagisa looked up to him when he sank to the edge of the tub; the downcast assassin observed that Karma had changed his clothes from before.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Nagisa knew that one was directed at him; Karma reached his hand out to caress his cheek as he spoke. Karma’s hand on his skin was the warmest sensation he’d felt since he awakened, he thought—even warmer than the water had been. When Karma continued to speak, he lowered his eyes to their hiding son, also lowering his hand to rest on Naoki’s back.

“Naoki, Nagisa protected you. We will always protect you from any harm. Remember that. You’re safe here.”

Naoki peeked out from Nagisa’s neck—surprising to both men—and blinked at Karma. Hoping it meant something good, Karma leaned down to kiss them both. Once those lips pressed lightly to his cheek, Nagisa felt the hope, as if it transferred to him through their skin.

 

 

Jon Moschella’s son had been Nagisa’s target on that mission months ago, and revenge was what led him to stalking their home for months before breaking and entering, planning to kill Nagisa’s own son, and then kill Nagisa. That was what an informant working under Nagisa’s boss had told them; the man had been part of a team searching for Moschella, though the team had only discovered this information after Nagisa had already killed the man.

Yes, Nagisa did feel guilt concerning his job, when he thought about his targets—they usually had families and friends of their own who would be devastated once their loved one was discovered assassinated. This guilt only grew when Nagisa gained a family of his own; he now understood how such loss would feel.

But it was a fact of life, and one that he could always refrain from thinking about when he was actively on the job.

He felt no sorrow for Jon Moschella, not after the trauma Naoki suffered. According to the informant, Moschella had been staking out their apartment and attempting to enter for at least two months, meaning that Naoki’s ‘nightmares’ may as well have been reality. Moschella only succeeded that night due to his sheer determination; the man had waited too long, and was going to lose it if he couldn’t carry out his plan soon. He’d seemed to be rather unstable and uncertain about taking a life; whether or not he would’ve followed through if Nagisa hadn’t acted in time, the fathers didn’t want to think about.

The window understandably had to be replaced, as the glass had been broken in places so Moschella could reach in to unlock his entrance. Nagisa’s company assured that they would pay for it, as well as take care of the disposal of Moschella’s body. Karma had called them right away, assuming it would be so—his first thought had been that the man had obviously been out for Nagisa because of his career.

Naoki didn’t go to kindergarten the next day, predictably, and for the following week. Some of Nagisa and Karma’s old 3-E classmates were informed of the situation, but none visited to comfort the boy. It would’ve been too much. Rather, the first thought in the couple’s minds had immediately been to look for a therapist—someone that could surely help. But, it had to be someone familiar with this sort of risky situation.

After a considerable amount of thought—mostly carried out by Karma, as Nagisa was still rather wobbly and focused most of his energy on coddling Naoki—they decided to ask Nagisa’s coworkers if anyone knew of someone who could help with their situation. Luckily, a fellow assassin who Nagisa could say he trusted responded, referring them to his sister who was a children’s therapist and knew of their line of work. With the knowledge that she would keep everything confidential, Nagisa and Karma invited her over to meet Naoki.

The five-year-old had stayed closed off and downcast since the incident, barely saying anything, which was extremely worrying. He never rejected his parents’ embraces, at least, and sometimes still sought them out. He’d also reverted back to sleeping with Nagisa and Karma instead of in his own room, with which the couple automatically complied.

When the therapist came, introducing herself as Saki, Naoki didn’t shy away, but didn’t make an effort either. Nagisa stayed close to him at all times during the sessions, though by the end of the week—Saki had visited each day, getting Naoki to open up more and more—Saki assured them that Naoki needed no more help. Sure enough, the boy came to Nagisa on the last day after Saki had left, tentatively approaching him after dinner.

“Papa...”

Though he spoke to Saki about the incident—he understood that he _needed_ to, in her case—he still hadn’t talked much to either of his parents, upsetting them immensely. When the boy drew near him now, though, Nagisa felt a large weight lift of his shoulders.

“What is it, sweetie...?” He asked gently, kneeling down to reach Naoki’s height. The boy looked to him with watery eyes.

“I... I... Thank you for saving me. I l-love you, Papa.”

It was simple—simpler than Nagisa had imagined—but still managed to make his throat clench. Inhaling deeply, he wrapped his arms around his son, pressing his lips to his ear.

“Oh, Naoki... I love you too. Thank you so much for telling me this. I’ve been so afraid, t-that you’d think I was... I was a monster, a killer. I’m s-so sorry you had to see that... Please forgive me, sweetie...” A few tears squeezed out of his eyes, and Nagisa shut them tightly. He felt Naoki’s small hands reach up to grip his shirt.

“...I-I forgive you, Papa. You had to do it, p-protecting me... P-Papa... You’re not th-the monster...”

Nagisa noticed his son beginning to shake and leaned back slightly to press their foreheads together, stroking Naoki’s hair comfortingly.

“P-Papa... Th-That man... It was s-so scary...!” The child could barely get it out before he began wailing, fat tears trailing down his cheeks, and Nagisa hugged him tightly, rocking them slightly.

“It’s over now, Naoki. He’s not going to get you, and you’ll never see him ever again. I promise, we’ll always protect you... Always...”

Though Naoki was crying loudly, Nagisa was elated. The boy was finally getting his feelings out; hopefully, he’d be back to his normal self soon. Learning that your father is an assassin would definitely be a shock to any child, but Nagisa was now more optimistic that Naoki would be okay. Karma had noted that, perhaps, it would make him stronger; that would be ideal.

That night, Naoki fell asleep in his parents’ bed long before either father retired for sleep—a change from the past week. Nagisa smiled as he and Karma settled down, still opting to keep Naoki’s slumbering form between them. He noticed that the boy’s left hand was halfway in his mouth as he slept, and carefully removed it, placing it under the covers.

They still hadn’t urged Naoki to think about going back to kindergarten, but soon they knew the boy would have to. They’d informed Naoki’s teacher that he’d witnessed a death and was shocked—no more, no less than that—and Ishiyo-sensei had kindly offered him as much time as he needed. Even so, the couple didn’t want Naoki to miss too much school; Tetsuya was likely worried about him, though his mother hadn’t called.

Meeting Karma’s eyes from across their son, Nagisa turned onto his side. Sensing that both of them would take a while to fall asleep, Karma whispered to him with glinting eyes.

“I _really_ wanted to kill that guy myself, you know... I’m glad you did, though.”

“Karma...” Nagisa hushed back, almost exasperated. After all that had happened, Karma still had the nerve to say such things.

Thankfully, Karma’s expression turned slightly more serious. “You did the right thing, Nagisa. From a father’s standpoint—I just... I feel the need to thank you for saving our son’s life. If you weren’t at the ready... I don’t want to imagine what could’ve happened. Thank you.”

Now, Nagisa’s cheeks grew slightly pink. “I... Karma...”

“And from a husband’s standpoint...” Karma’s mouth fluidly slid into a smirk as he reached out his hand to stroke Nagisa’s cheek. “I love how you can protect this household. It’s sort of sexy—“

“Karma!” Nagisa whispered scathingly, wishing he could chuck a pillow at the man across from him. Instead, mindful of Naoki’s sleep, he settled for tightly grasping the hand on his face, squeezing its fingers. Karma’s smirk only widened.

“Okay, I’ll be more serious. Honestly, though, I... couldn’t be prouder of you. You’re a magnificent father, Nagisa. I know it’s hard for you to think that right now—but it’s true. And Naoki adores you, even if he did see you kill someone. You’ve done so much for him. Just—trust me on this, okay?”

Karma said it so bluntly, Nagisa almost flinched. Even so, he felt himself getting emotional, and nodded, now gently holding the hand close to his face. “...Yeah.”

“And—I guarantee that when Naoki grows up more, he’s going to think you’re so fucking cool. An assassin as a dad—the way you killed to protect him—he’ll think you’re the most badass parent ever! Trust me.” Karma’s cheeky grin only made Nagisa want to bury his face into the pillow.

While he was still a little hesitant, he nodded again. “...If you say so.” He noticed Naoki shift in his sleep slightly, and let go of Karma’s hand, remembering that they should lower their voices more.

“Oh, and...” Karma continued brazenly whispering as he pulled his hand back. “...We haven’t had sex in ages. Set a date with me sometime, will you?”

Nagisa felt blood rush up to his ears, and ducked his head down to hide it. Hearing Karma’s chuckle, he realized his efforts were futile. “W-Well... When Naoki goes back to kindergarten, you can try and get off work... And then we’ll see.” He hurriedly finished, turning his back to his husband. Truthfully, though, he was feeling pent up by now. Maybe he did need some sort of way to relieve all his stress, all these anxieties...

When Karma didn’t reply, presumably settling down to fall asleep, Nagisa couldn’t help but mumble out, “I love you...”

“...I love you too.”

There was no teasing tone in Karma’s voice this time—only earnestness, sincerity, and it warmed Nagisa’s heart.

 

 

On a mild Friday afternoon, Naoki set down his small pack and turned to face his father, nervous but excited. In the corner of his eye he could see Tetsuya waiting for him, and his heart beat fast, even as Karma knelt down and held his shoulders.

It’d taken him a very long time to build up this courage and to get back to himself, but now the day had finally come. In just a few more months, he would be in elementary school; the world wasn’t going to wait for him forever. The boy knew he had to push himself, even if it was scary.

“You have everything? Ready for us to go?” Karma questioned softly. Nagisa’s voice in the background, conversing with Tetsuya’s mom still, also calmed his nerves.

“Y-Yeah!”

Doubts still ran through his mind. How could his fathers protect him if they were miles away? What if something happened?

Karma smiled, assuring. “Good. We’re a phone call away, and we can come get you any time. If, at any moment, you want to come home, just tell Maeda-san and she’ll let us know. I promise.”

Naoki pouted, though truthfully he felt much safer already at Karma’s promise. “M’not a baby, I said! I’ll be fine!”

It was almost shocking to Karma, who’d already heard more than enough of “Don’t leave, Daddy!” in his lifetime. Pride filled his chest, and he ruffled his son’s nest of hair. It was tangled; they’d have to get it cut soon, he silently noted.

“Alright, alright. Love you. Goodbye until tomorrow.” Karma kissed Naoki’s forehead before straightening back up, just as Nagisa approached to face their slightly embarrassed son.

Instead of saying anything, Nagisa simply gave him a look—a knowing look, with his head slightly tilted, asking for reaffirmation. Naoki understood what he meant; they’d discussed it before they left their house.

 _No telling_ anyone _about Papa’s real job._

Naoki nodded strongly, a fierce resolve in his eyes, and Nagisa smiled before bending down for a goodbye kiss. As he leaned back up, whispers left his lips.

“We’re still here if you need anything. Tetsuya will protect you too. I love you, sweetie.”

An embarrassed blush tinting his cheeks, Naoki mumbled back, “Love you too...”

And that was that. The adults bid their goodbyes, and his parents were gone. He turned to face Tetsuya again, and though his nervousness had returned, the five-year-old also felt more determined than he ever had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support on this, to anyone at all who enjoyed it! <3
> 
> This will be the end of this particular story, but if anyone has any requests for any other scenarios for me to write with this universe with Naoki, or even any other Karmagisa requests in general, let me know and I will get to writing! (Because I don't know if people will want more after this or not, haha) You can talk to me at my tumblr (yasuhomo) or just by commenting and I'll see it either way.
> 
> Again, thanks so much for reading!!


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